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Why is he pushing me away?
I've been talking to this guy for months, he was there for me when I was having a tough time. His gran was rushed into hospital on Christmas Day and I've tried to support him. She passed away 2 weeks ago, he was carrying on as normal as if it never happened, still going to work, not taking any time off but it was the funeral last week. Ever since the funeral he's hardly been talking to me, I've tried being there for him and I told him he can talk to me about anything if he wishes to do so, he replied 'I know you're always there to talk' tonight he messaged me saying 'I need affection beyond belief' I don't understand what that means as it could mean anything from a hug, sex or something in between. I told him I'm here for him but he keeps pushing me away by ignoring me and he said 'I don't talk to anyone. I work and sleep that's all I'm capable of doing at the minute. Sorry it's not you' I understand grief affects people differently I just really wanna be there to make sure he's okay and to look after him but I don't want to come across as too full on or push him further away, is it best to leave him alone even though he's bottling things up? I said to him there's more to life than just work and his reply was 'I'm aware, just haven't figured that out yet' if I leave him alone is there a chance he will come back when he's ready or should I encourage him to open up??
2 Answers
- Anonymous2 years ago
Just let him be. He’s dealing with the death of a family member, which is a lot to process, especially if he was close to her. He knows you’re there for him, so don’t push him to open up. He’ll open up when he’s ready.
- Anonymous2 years ago
Ok this guy is obviously hurting on an emotional level, most likely because his gran was in hospital. All you can do for him is to be a supportive friend. In order to do this you need to be a good listener. So many people place an emphasis on trying to talk to someone but forget about the listening part. Hence, I wouldn't be too pushy about trying to get him to open up. He knows you exist and will open up when the time is right. In the mean time why not try cheering him up by doing things he enjoys? Why not take him out to a place that he likes or even something as simple as going out to dinner or coffee and trying to make him laugh. Basically, you want to act like nothing is wrong until this guy decides to open up. I really hope this helps :)
Source(s): Would you say this guy is really introverted or is he only like this because of what happened to his Gran? Do you think he is scared of being judged if he were to open up to you? :)