I have Anxiety that people will believe I am Sexist –– No, I am not joking. Please Help!?

Go ahead and laugh at me. I understand.

But seriously: I'm here because I want help and I do not know where else to turn so I chose to come here. I do not have a therapist I can talk to and I am not allowed to talk to one. So here I am.

Let me cut right to the chase.

My Problems:

- When someone says something even slightly sensual-sounding, my brain thinks of what was said in a sexual context (this has nothing to do with libido or horniness since when this occurs, I am not aroused at all by these thoughts).

When what was mentioned previously occurs, my body typically 'jerks' or 'twitches'. For example, my arm or leg moves involuntarily.

Next, my brain puts two and two together and I think to myself:

"If someone around me saw what just happened (me twitching at the hearing of a word with a sexual connotation), they will think that I am a sexist/pervert."

What happens at this stage is that my face turns red with embarrassment.

- This may be hard to visualize, so

HERE IS A REAL WORLD EXAMPLE:

1. I hear the following sentence being spoken: "When will Johny and Frank come? They said they'd be here by now."

2. By hearing the word "come", my brain jumps to the word "lcum" (semen). This causes my body to twitch.

3. My face then turns red with embarrassment with the knowledge that the person in front of me had just seen me do what I just did.