Is not having companionship and not getting any affection along with some emotional abuse, grounds for a divorce? Or a deal breaker?

Focus on your spouse’s good qualities. Try this: Write down three positive qualities that your mate possesses. Keep the list with you, perhaps on the back of a small wedding picture or in a mobile device. Regularly refer to this list as a reminder of why you married your spouse. Focusing on the positive qualities of your mate promotes peace and will help you put up with your differences.

Plan special time together. Before you were married, likely you both set aside time to do things together. Dating was new and exciting, but it was not left to chance. Why not do something similar now? Plan occasions where you and your spouse can spend special times together, as if on a date. Doing so can help you draw closer to each other and enable you to cope better with life’s unexpected problems.

Give praise generously. So try to get into the habit of thanking your spouse. A husband named James says, “When my wife expresses appreciation for the things I do, it makes me work harder to be a better husband and to increase the effort I put into the marriage.

Husbands and wives who express appreciation for each other strengthen their relationship. Many marriages could be saved if spouses kept to the fore what they like about each other. When problems arise, they’d be less inclined to end the marriage, because they have constantly been reminded of what a good thing they have.

Discuss your feelings. If you have been hurt by your spouse’s words or actions, can you overlook the matter? If not, do not play games by resorting to the silent treatment. Calmly talk things out with your mate as soon as you can, that very day if at all possible.

Discern the difference between your feelings and your spouse’s intentions. Likely neither one of you ever intends to hurt the other. Assure your spouse of this by sincerely apologizing for any hurt feelings you may have caused. Then discuss what specific things you both can do to avoid unwittingly causing hurt feelings. Follow the Bible’s advice: “Become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another.”

Be realistic in your expectations. The Bible acknowledges that those who marry “will have tribulation.” (1 Corinthians 7:28) When you experience such tribulation, do not hastily conclude that your marriage was a mistake. Instead, work with your mate to resolve differences and “continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely.”

I live in California where the only required "grounds for divorce" is that you don't want to married anymore. So as you're asking a largely legal question it would help to know what jurisdiction you're living in. Very few places in the US require "grounds" for getting a divorce.

But outside the legal realm, you're right, three kids would certainly suck the romance out of a marriage. While you can't expect to be wined and dined every time you make love it's not reasonable for him to expect your sex life to consist of only quickies with no foreplay.

You two need to have a babysitter on speed dial, to plan a date night at least twice a month and to plan weekend getaways as you can manage them. Your marriage is on autopilot and your husband may just be so buried in his work that he doesn't realize it. Communication is important, so talk to him instead of us.

Try marriage counseling

If you think you're there for the babysitting and the sex then he likely thinks he's there for the wallet. Means no one is happy. Doesn't always mean it's a deal breaker though. Usually it means that a very different deal needs to be made quite soon. Sounds like it's true that if you two don't come up with a different deal between the two of you then there will be no deal at all quite soon.

In many states, the only grounds needed for a divorce is one spouse no longer wanting to be wed. Different states, different laws.