Tell me your best joke?

what do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef .

Why did Batman and Robin stop at the gas station?

They had to use the Bat-Room.

A Welsh farmer was patrolling his fields when he noticed a stranger trying to get a drink from the stream with his hand. The farmer shouted to him... in Welsh..

"Paid ag yfed o'r afon yna, mae'r gwartheg a'r defaid wedi cachu ynddi"

(Don't drink from that stream, the cattle and the sheep have crapped in it)

The stranger, a stuck-up Englishman replied "Don't speak to me in that silly lingo, I don't understand a word...speak English for goodness sake man"

To which, the farmer answered..."Oh, I was just saying...'use both hands, you'll get more that way' ".

Think of Edward scissorshands trying to jerk

It be blood pish spunk

Did you ever smell mothballs ??

How'd you get their little legs apart ?

I know a joke about pizza but it's pretty cheesy.

I was once in a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

I lost my mood ring and I don't know how to feel about it.

What kind of cups did Confederate soldiers use? Dixie cups.

Thank you, I'm here all evening!

guy goes into the ladys restroom and theres a few machines on the wall and he's like cool lets check it out ... first one starts giving him a message and things and he's like aaaah .. so lets try the next one .. this one blows him with some nice air and combs his hair and the breeze feels brilliant aaah ... next he walks up pushes the button and theres a tug and and extreme pain, his eyes get real big and he reads the description label .. 'tampon remover' ...