Do I have borderline personality disorder or what?

So I used to be in a toxic relationship which I was obsessed with him I was with him constantly and I wouldn’t trust him I would be so upset if he had to leave me also we didn’t live in same area and went through a lot this was about 3 years ago since we split and still I am hurt I went doctors around then because I couldn’t sleep, eat Or anything and I was constantly crying ect since then I am over him abit more and don’t have him on anything ect but when we was together he tried ending me and I felt like dying I smashed a glass on my head and had to go hospital after that we never spoke again. Now I am in a new relationship and it’s pretty much the same I always feel so upset when I have to go home, I feel like he doesn’t care about me, he’s sick of me ect but I can’t help this feeling I feel so sick and like there’s a lump in my throat all day ready to cry my eyes out I feel so empty and lonely. I don’t feel like doing activities or moving I just feel sad and like my stomach is nervous and sick I will beg my boyfriend to see him and I know I shouldn’t cus I should give him space but I can’t there’s something wrong with me I shouldn’t feel like this. I have been doc before they just sent me to counselling which didn’t do anything she just asked what’s mood made me circle smiley faces it didn’t help I cried each time just wanting to be with my boyfriend. I feel I would benefit from medication but they never do anything. Help me what is wrong with me. I want to be happy.