When the wife is upset and doesn’t want to talk right away?

Generally yes. A lot of people need some time to decompress.

For either spouse, when s/he says s/he is unable to talk about something at the moment, this request should be respected and, if there must be a reply, it should be asking about when s/he thinks s/he will be ready to talk.

I think so. Better for both sexes. It's a good idea to cool down, think logically, and not say things that you can't take back and will cause, in the moment, harm that lasts for years.

That is a good question.

Marriage problem solving 101:

1st, NEVER go to sleep without resolving the issue. NEVER If you have a problem, then the two of you work together to solve it. I mean REALLY solve it...to the point where you do not have to discuss it anymore. If it takes all night to work out a solution, then you spend ALL NIGHT workout out a solution. But the worst mistake you can make is to sleep on it. The problem has to be solved, not given time to get worse.

Now, how does that relate to your question? Well, there are some instances where you might have to insist on talking right away. Let's say you two have an argument right at bedtime. She's too upset to want to talk right away? Well, regardless...nobody is sleeping until the problem is solved!!!! So whether she wants to deal with the issue at the moment or not, she HAS to...

Now, there is one exception to the rule. If she's so upset that she is lashing out at you like yelling or crying uncontrollably or getting physically aggressive...

People in that state of mind can not hear anything you say. If they do hear what you say, they do not process it correctly. It's like talking to an angry tiger. You really can't win in that situation. Best to retreat for a while, or you are TOAST.

But even if she's THAT upset where she obviously is not able to think straight...

You need to still try to work out a solution with her before either of you falls asleep.

On that note...

If she's constantly getting so upset that she literally can't talk right away...

It might be time for both of you to re-evaluate whether you should be married, or not. That level of "upset" should be very, VERY rare. Like if it pops up more than twice a decade, you two have serious issues....

you know the worst thing you can do is to try and talk her out of the mood she is in. So leave her to process whatever it is that is bugging her

Yes, they need some space.  They also don't want to be ignored either though. So it is a bit of a juggling act.  Very hard to get exactly right each time.

Yes.  It is always best if someone does not want to talk right away to just give them some space.