As a boss. When writing an employee up. I feel bad because I know he has a family and kids to support. Any advice?

Be as open-minded as you can be. LISTEN to your employee--don't just discipline. There may be reasons for the behavior that you aren't aware of, or that you didn't know and it MIGHT make a difference. Don't ASSUME until you have learned all the reasons that there might be for behavior that gets written-up. 

And don't do any personal attacking of the employee--you're addressing only the behavior that led up to the write-up--not the person's culture, race, life-style or how they look. Make sure that's all you address in the write-up, and use non-emotional language.  You can feel bad, and sometimes you will--but remember that if an employee violates rules or regulations, or puts others in danger, YOU are the boss here--and you should always act like a boss, not a friend. That's your job--to see that workers follow what guidelines and rules are in place.  Keep your personal feelings to yourself and out of any discussions. Let your employee know that even though they are being written up for something, it is not a 'death sentence' to the job--you expect improvement and conformity and hope that relations will be better going forward. 

I've been written up. It wasn't fun, but it helped me decide to move on. Honestly, I had little aptitude for what I was doing. The company had an interesting procedure: the employee was able to take a paid day off the think about whether he or she wanted to come back to work or quit. I took the paid day off, came in and turned in my uniform the next day.

Much better than what an old boss of mine did. He nagged another employee about his job performance, *but never followed through on his threats.* Eventually, co-irker's behavior and job performance was so disruptive, he had to be fired. I'm certain "Joe" felt sandbagged. His car was repossessed, his girlfriend threw him out, he suffered from depression to the point where the doctors were trying electroshock therapy. He ended up homeless. It may have ended up that way, anyway. But  I always wondered, what if Joe had been held accountable years sooner, before his mental illness was so advanced.

I've had to do that very thing, and yes it does feel bad.  That's why the boss gets paid more.

When taking disciplinary action against an employee, you have to ask yourself a few questions.  Did the employee know the rules, did they knowingly break the rules, and does the punishment fit the offence?  If the answer is yes to all three, it's really not on you that the employee has kids to support.  We all have people counting on us, and it's our responsibility to conduct ourselves accordingly.

Writing an employee up is usually just that, a written warning.  You're not throwing him out on the street with no paycheque, you're telling him that whatever he did (or failed to do) is unacceptable conduct in the workplace.  The employee then has to make a conscious decision.  If they do it again and get fired, you're off the hook because you did provide fair warning.  That's why the written warning system exists, in fact.

It's the employee's responsibility to think about the welfare of his family and your responsibility is to do what your supervisory position requires or someone else will be getting your job without worrying about your family.

As a boss - you are REQUIRED to follow your businesses or companies rules.  If you allow 'feelings' to get in the way - then you need to find another job.

You can have sympathy and still be effective. After all, the write up isn’t personal, it’s business. He isn’t performing up to standards and needs to be held accountable for that shortfall. The worst day of my career was the day I had to fire four of my employees on the same day because of an incident they were all involved with. I knew they all had families and responsibilities, but the fact was, I had a job to do as well, and part of my job as the manager was disciplinary actions including terminations. You need to be able to separate the personal from the professional.

Don't let your personal feelings get in the way of being a good boss. Just write him up, otherwise eventually your boss might feel bad when writing you up - but they'll still write you up.

Write ups don't always get you fired, unless he gets a lot of them or if it's for a really costly mistake. Write ups usually are a slap on the wrist for doing some thing wrong, or performing poorly. Talk to him about why he's getting written up. Tell him what to do so he can improve and hopefully what he got the write up for will improve. If he needs extra training, make sure he gets it. If he's new, he may not be used to the policies and procedures.

I've received one write up for being late with out notifying my boss. I wasn't fired for that. I'm not a level 7 troll. 

Don't write him up, let him continue ruining your business. You can then both join the welfare queue together.

A write up usually means there is a performance issue.

You should not feel bad about writing up someone who can't do what you need them to do.

If the employee needs more training - make sure they get it.  Help them become better.  But do NOT feel bad about taking corrective action to make sure that employee knows that failure to do their job has consequences.

If you feel bad for anyone who has a family and needs their income, you will end up with a work crew that never gets any quality work accomplished because you are too soft as a boss and can't take corrective action.