What to grain to feed my horse for energy? ?

Diet is not the issue I would be concerned with. Even a horse that gets ridden in tack that you may think fits really well can develop back pain, and this needs to be investigated by your vet. And while your vet is there, have him or her give your mare a breeding soundness exam. I say this because one of the major issues that mares like this are prone to relates to their estrus cycles. Cranky behavior, especially while being ridden during the breeding season in the summer, is a tip off that something is wrong somewhere- and the first thing I'd investigate if this were my horse is the possibility that she could have PCOS, or polycystic ovarian syndrome. Mares with PCOS display many of the symptoms you describe, and they can be real witches to deal with when they are in heat. That's because their ovaries are swollen, and the pounding they get from being ridden or jumped only adds to their pain.

PCOS is hereditary. It's detected by means of blood tests to measure hormone levels, as well as by ultrasounds and physical exams. Mares with this disorder should NOT be bred, because they will pass the gene that causes it on to their daughters. Humans get PCOS too, and it causes some of the same symptoms in women that it does in horses. The worst of those in the case of people, however, is infertility. PCOS can make mares aggressive, too- and not just because their ovaries hurt. The overproduction of hormones that is a hallmark of the disease often leads to behavioral changes, such as studly behavior, for example, or mares becoming overly dominant. Being in constant pain all the time is very tiring, regardless of whether one is human or a horse, and it could be one of the causes of the low energy you describe in your question.

I'd get your vet out as soon as you can to see this mare. And I'd also have a professional saddle fitter come and check the fit of your tack, just to be safe.

Red bull from the commercials? Haha I think it makde the horse fly and it gave it engery

I don't think changing her feed will back any difference.

And giving her a label like "lazy" or "stubborn" is usually what owners do when they are the problem. The horse is a mirror of you. 

Example: a girl I knew told me her horse was lazy and stubborn. Turns out the girl just rode her horse in mindless circles in an enclosed area. The horse wasn't lazy or stubborn, just really bored. And her riding was very flat, no direction or motivation. She just used her legs and reins. no voice. No seat. She never praised the horse and looked pretty fed up herself. So I asked her to come riding with me and the horses attitude change instantly. So if it's not a medical problem it could be something you're doing or not doing. But good horseman never blame the horse by labeling it. 

Extra grain won't make a lazy horse more forward.  It'll just make her fat and irritable.

The two of you need to work together on ways to move her along.  A good trainer would be an immense help to you.  You need to learn what to do and exactly when to encourage forwardness; she needs to learn that forward is good and is more interesting and less boring than being lazy.

Good Luck.

You should ask a vet or trainer, not just guess or ask on here. Horses can die from too much grain, you know, if you actually care about the animal and it isn't just an entertainment appliance to you.