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Is it abusive to make someone think they’re your friend for years, then tell them you always hated them?
About a couple years ago, I tried apologizing to an old friend of mine for giving them a hard time. I actually loved this friend, very heavily, and she knew this too. The issue is, when I went to apologize and right my wrongs, she told me that she always hated me, from the very beginning. That she never cared about me, and that apparently she was only friends with me for almost 4 years because she didn’t want me to kill myself. I messed up heavily with her, but not to this level. We had been friends for so long, and so early in life. I genuinely believed we were, but I guess she never did according to her… how do I characterize this properly?
I think to this day, it’s heavily affected my love life, as I haven’t had the confidence to ask any women out, and haven’t had any trust in any women for years as a result.
Oi Foofa, I did tell her how I felt about her and we worked with it for a long time. I did as much as I could to prevent my love from interfering in our friendship. So if ya wanna be a jerk, feel free to. Try to stay on topic though.
2 Answers
- ?Lv 75 months ago
It's also emotionally abusive to make someone think they're your friend for years then tell them you've secretly been harboring romantic ideas about them. Just food for thought.
- Anonymous5 months ago
Well, if it helps - myself and I'm sure others out there too have trouble making friends. All my life; I was always someone second choice. For whatever reason, every friend I ever had always had a best friend before me and that really fvcking hurt more than anything, to the point where I completely abandoned all my friends. I just couldn't take the pain anymore of knowing I was the third wheel, that I was always on the outside looking in on their special friendship, something that I never knew the feeling of no matter how much I wanted to be someone's best friend, but I never was.
At this point in adulthood, I think it's far too late for me to even have a close friend ever again. Most adults keep acquaintances and the like and things just aren't the same if you try to start over and make friends now compared to someone who has had the same group of friends all throughout childhood.
It's affected my ability to get close to people period. I've actually never had any real romantic relationships because of it. I'm afraid that even if I'm remotely interested in someone and date them, they'd eventually find out I'm this weirdo loser with no friends. This nearly affects every area in one's life. Be it at work, dating, or even the ability to make other friends. If you have no social circle, you're basically a fvcking mess in societies' eyes.
I don't know why some of us are just left behind. I know just as much as you do here.
