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Why would be break up with be so suddently?
Hey everyone! I’m 23 and a recent graduate, and was seeing this guy (he’s 22 and will be graduating May 2022 after his deployment) who’s in the air force for about 1 month (not too long I understand), but due to Covid/ working from home we honestly got to spend a lot more time together. I of course stayed busy living my own life, but definitely was able to go on 2-3 dates a week/ meets up/ with him frequent (we spent the night, no sex)... Long story short, he was the one to really want to meet my family (it was quick), and me to meet his. Hence, I literally had lunch and dinner with his family for the past 2 days, it was great aha. His mom + sisters even got me these great Christmas gifts + invited me to there holiday party while he would be on base for NYE.
Long story short, today after dinner w/ his family, we went back to our townhomes, in mine, to open the gifts we got each other and made out/ did oral (sorry for tmi) afterwards, I noticed something was feeling off, and he proceeds to tell me how he’s realized that we don’t argue, but “bicker” a lot and how that concerns him this early on + how he felt that me “helping to put his tag back under his shirt” is me trying to baby him, plus how I’m “perfect” and it’s his own issues he’s working through; he leaves for another round of training for 3 weeks soon + Saudi Arabia in 4 months, for 3 months.
*See Update*
I am honestly in shock and basically thanked him for his honesty, declined the “still being friends” bs, and ignored his “you did nothing wrong, you are so incredible” follow up texts..I have honestly prayed/ worked on myself SOO much these past few years, and for this to happen is so heart wrenching for me.
*He does suffer from depression and says, "I am going to get sad", yet won't get help since he believes it would greatly affect his ability to become an officer in the next 3-4 years.
2 Answers
- ennLv 63 months agoFavorite Answer
ahhhhhhh "Man Boy".
Okay so this is the age when "Man Boy" wants to prove he is a man, and so he manfully will not let his girlfriend fix his little shirt for him. He now is "Man Boy" and needs to go, ...... well...... actually GROW UP right now.
He is kind of right in cutting things off right now -- he is not emotionally able or mature enough to handle a decent young llady such as yourself.
In other words, YOU are not in the wrong, but, neither is he. He is just not ready for mature, grown up adult emotions or mature grown up responsibilities. He does in actuality need to go out into the world and prove himself before he takes on a mature, grown up relationship.
I am sorry your feelings have been hurt.
But in an odd way this is good to find out so soon and so young. If you had taken things further and added a kid to equation, things would get far more messy.
So, go home and comfort your hurt heart, but, at least realize he was wise enough to see himself and he recognized he could not handle "adulting" right now/ Maybe YOU can. YOU can hold your head high - you being YOU is NOT your fault. You being YOU needs to have some courage in this and be amicable. But really,, be brave and let him go.
You know, this is part one of a future Hallmark movie where "he leaves you now, but in 10 years he returns to your hometown and you return to your hometown and his life has changed and your life has changed and he cuts down a Christmas tree in the snow..." For the next few years, keep working on you and be not ashamed! When you meet one who can handle being a grown up, that person will see YOU and not be so foolish as to let you go. {{Hugs}} from a stranger and may the New Year be better for you!