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Friend is suddenly giving me the cold shoulder..?
So to give it a bit of background, we're friends and I thought good friends for about a year. Perhaps I was wrong. We talked all the time and we would hang out occasionally. I got a boyfriend and that's kind of when it started but that was almost 4 months ago. Over the last 1.5 weeks, he has been extremely standoffish and acts like I'm bothering him when I reach out just to see how he's doing. I'm not a fan of feeling like I'm bothering people.
I'm not really sure why the sudden change but maybe I'm missing something. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to ask him about it as I've never had an issue telling him when I have a problem between us, it just seems so sudden. Plus I wanted to make sure it wasnt just me but he's been pretty consistent about it. I thought I'd ask him about his personal life, if everything is ok. I wasn't insisting that he talk to me about anything because he normally tells me but he flat out refused lol.
I'm not sure how to take him, how I should approach it because I do consider him a good friend.
I'm just trying to figure out the best way to approach without ruffling feathers i guess. I just like to hear outside opinions, it helps to get perspectives I may be missing.
2 Answers
- 2 months ago
I agree with the other post. He most likely has feelings for you and is probably hurt that you got a boyfriend. He may have even thought you had feelings for him and is upset that you actually don’t. I wouldn’t tell him that’s what you think it is, it might embarrass him or if you are wrong, ruin the friendship completely. I would just ask him what is wrong, if you did anything to upset him, etc. It’s important to make him feel like his feelings are valid, if you get upset at him for not opening up then he never will. Just keep persisting and being a good friend to him. Eventually he will either open up or just get over it and be himself with you again.
- Anonymous2 months ago
I get the feeling that this guy had feelings for you but never had the courage to tell you. As a result, he is now upset that you have a boyfriend and is looking to put some distance between you both in order to help him move on. I do not think it is a weird coincidence that all this started the moment you got into a relationship. If this explanation is not plausible then what else could it be?
The way I would go about fixing this is to try and get him to open up and admit that he did have feelings for you. From there can work on re-establishing your friendship. Remember, your friend does not hate you, he is just scared that he may lose you or that you will never feel the same way about him. Therefore what you need to do is try and make him feel as valuable and irreplaceable as your boyfriend. I think that once you can make him feel that he has a special place in your life he will come back to you.
