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I don't understand why is it not easy for me to have autism, What are your thoughts?
I am 22 years old and I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when I was 10 years old.
Throughout my school life I went to 6 schools (4 primary, 1 senior and 1 special needs school) because from 2rd to 4th primary schools my parents were trying to find a right school because I was struggling a lot in school with my education, speech and language. 3rd primary school it was school was mixed with mainstream classes and special needs classes, I was put into a special needs class and they had speech and language therapists in the school and I was there for 2 years (year 4 I was the only girl, as most of the students in my class were boys and I didnt want to be in the class with boys and I wanted to be in the mainstream classes with girls). From 4th primary school to employment (including special needs school, first 2-3 months in college) I was bullied, been forgotten, left out and been treated completely differently.
From 4th primary school to senior school I wanted good friendships, unfortunately, I didn't, I have left out alot esp in PE and I didnt want to be left out and forgotten. I can remember when I was in year 10 I wanted to die so badly because of being left out/forgotten/ never been included and I have also hurt myself. When I was in special needs school I was bullied by girls and I was often left out by them.
In 4th primary school I was treated very badly by classmates they asked me if I am Spaz and a retard and they were really horrible to me.
The school (my 4th primary school) treated me very differently compare to the other kids and I wasnt allowed to take part in residential trips, go to sport matches/events and take part in cooking clubs.
Coming towards the end of 2020, I did had a lot of breakdowns including anxiety and depression, I keep thinking to myself the only way I can get rid of autism is to attempt then I got help from this girl from my friend from work, she helped me out and shes amazing.
I just wanted to have the same circumstances like everyone else like having a good life, not being bullied, not being an outsider etc.
I have got few close friends and In the past I had ones who have played me around, I dont want that now more.
I just want to be a regular human being and I dont like keep strutting because it makes me like an idiot, I have been laughed by people because when I keep strutting.
Why is it hard to be autistic? last year I keep thinking to myself that I hate it .
I do understand things and certain stuff I dont understand, I just don't like people asking what's this means. I did ask the girl who I helped me out to get through my breakdowns I just want to get rid of my autism and she did say to me that you cant get rid of autism it is there for life and she has got a sibling who has got it and it is not easier.
I just dont understand why being an autistic person is hard? I wanted to be in mainstream society.
Whenever if I ask for help which i dont really like asking for help, they just leave me immediately instead of helping me out.
Even anywhere I go (including employment, work experience and others) people will get really funny and cold around me if they found that I have got autism.
Why cant people treat people with autism with the same respect as everyone else and can people not leave people with autism out.
Also, I hate being quiet towards other people, I rather straight into conversations.
1 Answer
- Anonymous2 months ago
I'm mildly Autistic myself, and like you, I went through utter HELL growing up and while I was in school. You have asked why it's hard to be Autistic in US (and likely, UK), society. Well the simple answer is because both of these countries have cultures that marginalize and discriminate against, not to mention HATE ON, anyone who is in any way "different" from whatever the accepted standard of "normal" or "cool" happens to be- and that standard can change rapidly, as you have seen.
People get cold towards you because they either don't understand Autism, or they are scared of it and don't know how to treat someone who has it. And because Autism isn't just one disorder (it's a whole spectrum) that adds another monkey wrench into things. Some Autism disorders are mild and produce relatively few symptoms, like mine. Others are more severe and produce MANY symptoms.
US society in particular is one that marginalizes and discriminates against anyone with any kind of disability, no matter how minor. There are simply far too many people who believe that those with Autism are "sick" or that they are "broken" and they need to be "fixed". It's not true, of course. But there is a segment of US society that clings to this belief like it was one of the Ten Commandments. Even worse, there are still plenty of people around who equate being "different" with being "unacceptable". That's why you were picked on while you were growing up, and why it also happened to me. It's very easy to demonize things that people either don't understand or don't like- that's part of the basis for racism, sexism, homophobia, and just about any other "ism" you can think of.
You won't be able to "get rid" of your Autism. It's permanent, and it will always be there and affect you and how you live your life. What you need to do instead is find creative ways to live with it. Stop wasting your energy on something that will never happen. I've managed okay in the end- I lead an independent life. I work full time, have a college degree, own and drive my own car, live on my own, pay taxes, vote, and do all the things that any other "normal" adult does. You can do these things too.