My 14 year old son can't handle being criticized online. Should I disable the router ?

If he's intelligent just tell him-either stop yelling and slamming doors or i will disable the router. Your wife is being unreasonable.

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your wife is un-reasonable 

he need hard physical work like digging hoe weeds etc, not point anf tell but you do it with him side by side

at age 14 it is really too late to fix this 

the fact he was in a class room, isolated you and your wife from him is a bad thing and now you see the real world

Maybe instead of a very high functioning kid on the spectrum, he's the product of an unhealthy environment.  Your wife sounds like a lunatic.  As for disabling the router, this isn't helpful.  You need to teach him to follow rules.  Instead, limit his time and put parental controls on social media sites.  He's only 14 and many good parents wouldn't think of letting a child that age on social media.  

I cannot understand your wife's proposal.  What she is objecting to.  People and animals are happy when there are clear boundaries.  It is difficult to "reign in" laxity after it is habitual.  Which is why the USA has such a problem with Corona virus. Yet control of internet usage is wise.

How about you sit him down and explain about criticizem with him.

Yes, but you might want to consider "easing" 

him into it (i.e., only allow access from x hour 

in the morning to x hour in the evening), getting 

down to just what is necessary for schoolwork. 

You might also want to consider making extra 

time online be a reward for good behavior. 

Your wife is a piece of **** by the way.

cut the internet at first it will be shocking but it is a necessary phase