Why is my wife so lazy?

I came home from my job at Applebee's today to find a trail of rose petals starting from the front door and leading into the kitchen. I followed the trail to find that it led to a sink full of dirty dishes. My wife is supposed to do the dishes while I'm at work and this was frankly infuriating. I'm now thinking of getting a divorce. It's not like I lack options. I'm already cheating on my wife with my black, male, 7-feet tall coworker who would make a far superior housemate.