too scared to come out ?

Question

Hi! i’m 17(f) and i know i like women like i know and i’ve known for ages. at first i thought it was normal and that all straight girls do that (which they do, straight women can admire other women’s beauty) but it’s way more than that and i don’t know if i’m even attracted to men. So i don’t know what to “label” myself as. I feel like i’m probably bisexual although at the moment i don’t see myself with a man. anyway my friends are lowkey homophobic. like they make little comments (obviously they wouldn’t hurt me physically etc) but i feel like they will just cut me off if i tell them. throughout school i was trying SO hard to hide it, so i did do stuff with boys and probably came across very straight to all my friends and everyone. I’m just so worried because i know they won’t accept me. i’m not prepared to lose my friends yet even though that sounds dumb. even if they don’t cut me off, i know they’ll just be distant or act weird etc. idk any advice? x

Anonymous · Answer

No reason to immediately out your self - especially if you are not on your own and paying your own bills. Take baby steps. Join some gay youth groups. Meet some lgbt first. Get a support system going. I often tell people to wait till at least college. Anyway - being out is more of a priority when you are on your own and paying your own bills. Not for someone just coming to terms with them self. So relax and be your own best student and build up some lgbt connections.

Alexander · Answer

As high school seniors, my best friend (and crush!) were the only ones in our circle with girlfriends. And both of us were gay. Some suspected, some didn't. Didn't really matter.  With graduation, all bets (and most friendships) are off. There's no rush, or real need, to label yourself. College is a clean slate, with new, more mature (mostly) friends who only know you as who you are. Just one more way that it really does get better.

choko_canyon · Answer

My advice is to relax about it. Don't try so hard to attach a label to yourself, labels are near-useless. Sexuality is a continuum...a range of feelings. No one is 100% anything, we just have tendencies and preferences. So there's no necessity to "come out" to anyone. Be yourself. If you find yourself attracted to another female and she feels the same way, go for it. Your friends will either accept that, or they won't, or no one will care one way or the other. On top of that, you're going to be of college age momentarily and your high school friends will, for the most part, go their separate ways and most of you all will find new friends and socialize with different people as time goes by. Just be yourself, whoever that is, and try not to worry about other people's reactions to who you are. And seriously, forget the labeling. Labels are limitations. Be whoever you are, and love whoever you love.

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too scared to come out ?

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