Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
What should I do about my mother?
She has narcissistic tendencies. I'm turning 30 in 4 months. I have struggled with her my entire life. She called the cops on me during a date this year, tracks me using phone apps, messes with my career etc. If I get married at some point I'm eloping no family wedding. I deleted the phone apps. She has ruined two of my relationships because of stalking behaviors and harassment. She also demanded to hang out with me one weekend even though I was not available. She drove to my town and sat in my parking lot until I let her in. I skipped Easter last week because I didn't want to deal with her.
6 Answers
- Anonymous4 days agoFavorite Answer
Believe it or not, a lot of this is on you. That's actually good news, because you have the power to fix it!
You are way overdue to start setting boundaries with her. A lot of us struggle to develop an adult/adult relationship with our parents, but this is usually in the early 20s when we're still caught up in those "parent child" dynamics. You're almost 30 and you're still caught up in them, which usually means mom has been toxic.
For example, when you say she's ruined 2 of your relationships, how did she have enough info to do this? When she drove to your parking lot and you let her in, why did you do this? If you answer her calls and texts, why? The answer is you're still thinking of her as the mom who has power over you. She doesn't. Also, do you realize that there's no law that says she gets to be in your life? Best question of all: would you tolerate this behavior from a friend? If not, why do you tolerate it from her?
It sounds to me like you might benefit from some talk therapy. It might be fascinating. Relationships with moms are always complex, but in a situation like yours, they are unbearably complex. The dynamics between you are very unhealthy and they are rooted in the way she raised you. Most people can't sort this out on their own.
- 4 days ago
Do you live with her? If not you should definitely create some boundaries. My parents tried to have me thrown in a mental institution once and held it over me for months. That is no way to live. If parents use law enforcement to control you, they should not be actively involved in your life. I eloped without family and if family can't cope with your life choices then you should definitely do that.
- T JLv 75 days ago
You need to get a restraining court order on her for stalking. See a lawyer, take her to court. Move to another state if you have to, and do not tell her.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- Judy and CharlieLv 75 days ago
You have posted this crap before and you have been answered.
If your mother is in your parking lot stalking you, DO NOT LET HER IN but call the cops and sign a complaint.
If you don't, she will just keep going and become bolder and more intrusive in your life.
