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Fiance says he has my back, but does he ?
Future MIL refers to herself as mom to my kids (mine and fiance) . I spoken to her, her daughter and my fiance both did. I told him this is he last straw and kids and i need space. He said he will talk to his mom and says he has my back.
How does he have my back? I understand its his mom, it is not a cultural thing for us to refer to elders as mom out of respect. When I ask him what would he do if my brother or uncles referred to themselves as dad to the kids - age 3, 2.
One story I get: I wouldn't like it, another story is hes 3 and shes 2 they know who their mom is. Other stores, its not that big of a deal....
Again, how does he have my back if not only does he allow it to continue- regardless whether your talking to her about it she clearly doesnt care and continues. I do not think im out of line by not allowing her to see the kids.
5 Answers
- FoofaLv 74 days ago
If all she's doing is calling herself "Mom" and she isn't actually trying to interfere with your parenting these children I wouldn't worry about it. But now that you share kids with this guy this is their grandmother regardless of whether you decide to stay with him or not.
- T JLv 75 days ago
Stop letting her see the kids. Refuse to let them see her, until your husband gets a pair of man berries and tells mom to stop her crap. And stay on your husbands butt, until this stops. No more Mom visits until she stops. Maybe she is mental.
- Judy and CharlieLv 75 days ago
First, DO NOT START YOUR RELATIONSHIP BY DEPENDING ON YOUR FIANCE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS, CARE OF YOU, OR ANYTHING ELSE!
You need to go over to the future mother-in-law's house ALONE, get her to sit down and EXPLAIN to her that it is offensive to YOU to expect the children to call her "mother". Tell her this is very important to you. Then ask her what name the children should call her? Nanna? Grandma? Mimi? Or her first name.
Then, help the kids by referring to the future MIL by that name.
You need to assert yourself to this woman because your place is rightly as the mother in this situation and there isn't room for 2.
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- jimanddottaylorLv 75 days ago
Sounds like a silly quirk to make a big deal of. If she wants to be called Mom then let her, I she decides to be called Jake, let her do so.
