superman in disguise

I was recently in Gibraltar, where they accept UK pounds, but also have Gibraltar pounds, which look like ours, but have 'Gibraltar' on them. Nobody will accept them (Bureau de change etc) other than back in Gibraltar, so I wonder if they are legal tender anywhere other than in Gibraltar. If not - any idea why not?

I am an 85 year old ex pilot and this girl came up to me and asked if I was a real pilot. I told her I was. She told me that she was a lesbian, and thought about naked women all day, all night, in the kitchen, in the shower. Every minute she was thinking of naked women. She left after a while and this guy sat next to me. He asked if I was a real pilot. I said that I always thought I was, but now I realise that I am a lesbian.......... funniest comment gets the points. Am I a lesbian? If I am then so are 99% of men. What do you think?

Does He get bored? If He does, what does he do when He is? Lets assume He does not have internet, car, mobile phone or TV. Or an iPod/iPad or i-anything. Be creative, What would God do if he was bored?

Does God get bored, and if he does - what does he do when he is? Asked by my daughter when bored and I could not come up with a good answer. Any ideas?

We are not allowed to use a mobile phone when driving, but it is perfectly Ok to have a Sat Nav display (Not distracting at all) accompanied by an annoying robotic voice?

Why?

What is more distracting - phone or Sat Nav?

You hear of people winning the real scratch cards - the one you buy in the shops. But has anyone ever won when playing the on-line ones, or is it all just a big money collecting exercise by Camelot?

I am working abroad. I was conned by a shop in Dubai and have spent 3 weeks trying to get my money back but did not want to worry my wife at home, so did not tell her until I had to resort to getting the police involved. She now says I breached a trust and is moving out. Was she right? Or is she using this as an excuse to get me out?

It is a lateral thinking kind of question. There is a good reason how he knows.

They say we have the highest CCTV coverage in Europe. If so, why does the UK also have one of the highest crime rates? Is it because all the bad guys love the attention?

Sounds silly but when I connect the 'hard drive' cable, all I get is a warning about copy protection. How to get round this? Not covered in the 'easy to use, quick start, users guide'.