lovefreedom

I ve been depressed since I remember being concient . as a child I didn t interact well with others yet the only thing I ever thought about was social interaction. It seems the more I wanted it and the more I needed it the more needy I became just making people stay away from me even more. Until today at age 22 I spend my days in anguish. Sometimes I feel like it s going to kill me. I ve tried asking people to hang out, guys and girls but either peole always say no or they cancel the plans a few hours before it happens. The second is even more painful becouse I spend some days building up hope and expectations and than it all comes down. I ve resorted to smoking weed all day or drinking heavily to help numb me. But I can t be ****** up all day since I gotta go to work and stuff but it s so hard to perform well when there is a whole in your chest like this. If I could I d choose to have every single bone in my body broken instead of this pain I can t explain. I had a girlfriend when I was 18 to 21, I thought it was gonna fix everything but I Stil felt like **** and even worse I brought her down too until she left me for good. Every once in a while I feel extrnely energetic and happy. But it only lasts 20 minutes to a few hours and I sink in a even deeper whole after it. Sometimes someone smiles at me or touches my shoulder to say something and it causes my heart to race and my emotions to fly in all dirextikns. How much I cherish those moments.

it seems like Canada gives the image of progress and acceptance. like an incredibly high tolerance towards liberalism like homosexuality or marijuana. but somehow the conservative party is in power of the fed. gov. with opposite ideology than its population?

well i am only 18 years old. but that doesn't mean anything. I went to school in South america, in Europe and in North America i speak three languages fluently (English, Spanish and Portuguese ) and I am working on learning more. I have experience with all types of cultures. I have even been to morocco to learn about their living. i never lived in the same place for more than 5.5 years so I have A LOT of culture understanding i also study the rest of the world on my free time. I would love to have a job where I can use some of my skills mostly the languages. i am now learning Russian and one of my parents speak Italian so I might get in to it. But it seems that here in British Columbia I can only get Labour jobs :( (construction, drilling, manufacturing, etc.) help?

seriously. most pain, cruelty, racism, homophobia and any type of discrimination is related to religion. why don't just forget about. churches could be hospitals, schools, shelters. all the time spent to "god" could be used helping other humans, who really matter. we could all live in a much better world if we would just give this bs up and learn to respct each other no matter what we are just humans. everyone should be able to know what is wrong by comon sense, hurting others etc. Sweden is one of the less religious countries in the world, and look how well they are doing. barely any violence or poverty and look at the most misable places on earth. religion is their governenmt

hi, I've worked as a diamond driller helper for a bit now making average $15,000 per month witch is not bad at all, but i can't stand it, I went to school in South America, Europe and obviously North America (Canada). Therefore I speak three languages fluently (English, Portuguese and Spanish. and working on two more) advanced skills with the computer and all the blah blah, really drilling is not for me. I live in a very small town but I am willing to move depending if i can have a job I like. Any suggestions?