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  • How can I get over a big life mistake I made?

    So I'm a woman in my early 30's, with a positive personality and a confident attitude since I entered college, but I have my moments of self doubt too

    In my early 20's, I went to study abroad (to the US) and spent the next 8-9 yrs studying and then working for big company names (even on Wall St) and enjoying my freedom, independence and the power and satisfaction you feel by earning your own money

    Due to visa issues (which may or may not have been resolved well) I decided to return back to my country, and did so too. At that time, I did not realize what a big change I was making in my life, and thought the transition was no big deal

    Once I was back, I worked in my field for awhile but hated the culture change, and quit my job to take a break. After which I opted for a more creative field and started work within the family for our clothing store.

    Its been 3.5 yrs since, and I've gone back to the US for a visit since then, and I repeatedly feel that I made a huge mistake by coming back home, that I had such a great life then, earned my own keep and enjoyed myself, and back home, even though I love my new work, I feel its more that I latched on to this work because I didn't want to do anything else, and I don't really take a monthly salary, just spend what I need to, so I feel like at the stage where I should be super independent and earn a lot of money (like my peers are doing), I'm mooching off my family and parents instead

    It makes me feel like a failure, and I'm just not able to shake that feeling off that I made a huge mistake and keep thinking of how I can go back to the States only. Visa is a big barrier, since I'm not a citizen there, and it makes it seem impossible that I can get a remote work visa approved by some company.

    Also, I feel its too late now for all this, I'm already at a point where I should be more settled, in my life and career, instead of flitting back and forth like this

    Any advice on how I can gain all my old confidence back and move on from this regret?

    Thanks

    1 AnswerMental Health7 years ago
  • Pls help!!!! How do I deal with a friend whom I've hired to work for me?

    I asked a friend to design some business cards for me, he is a graphic designer. This request was over two months ago, and he agreed to do it. I sent samples of my existing card and since my logo is just the name of my business, asked that it not be changed at all. All I wanted as a change was some kind of soft design in the background

    After repeated emails and reminders, after almost two months, he sent me two revised cards, with very loud designs that totally did not match my requirement. He had also quoted an amount for the artwork, and I had agreed, even offered to pay it in advance, but he refused.

    I rejected the designs, and the next email I got was my original design, with the written information changed in fonts, everything else the same. I said I still like this but its the same design right? He agreed and said he will reduce is rates by 30% if I'm going with the same design.

    I have kinda agreed out of embarrassment, but its not how i feel really, as I still feel 70% is a lot to pay for just tweaking the existing card by changing a font. I would rather print my card as is, but I've now kinda agreed that its fine to my original design only

    I have two questions:

    1. Should I pay some part amount as a thank you for the work he put in? Granted it was after a lot of pushing, but he did some work and I don't want to say no without offering some money

    2. I don't want to spoil the friendship, but also don't want to pay the entire amount as I feel there was no new work done to warrant that charge. How can I refuse it politely and still not spoil future relations?

    I'm not sure how the graphic world works, but isn't there some sort of advance token taken to show artwork, and you just leave it if you don't like it and the advance is the payment for work done?

    Since I never paid an advance, how can I offer it now and not offend? And if I don't offer, won't that ruin our friendship?

    2 AnswersFriends8 years ago
  • How do I deal with a friend whom I've hired to work for me?

    I asked a friend to design some business cards for me, he is a graphic designer. This request was over two months ago, and he agreed to do it. I sent samples of my existing card and since my logo is just the name of my business, asked that it not be changed at all. All I wanted as a change was some kind of soft design in the background

    After repeated emails and reminders, after almost two months, he sent me two revised cards, with very loud designs that totally did not match my requirement. He had also quoted an amount for the artwork, and I had agreed, even offered to pay it in advance, but he refused.

    I rejected the designs, and the next email I got was my original design, with the written information changed in fonts, everything else the same. I said I still like this but its the same design right? He agreed and said he will reduce is rates by 30% if I'm going with the same design.

    I have kinda agreed out of embarrassment, but its not how i feel really, as I still feel 70% is a lot to pay for just tweaking the existing card by changing a font. I would rather print my card as is, but I've now kinda agreed that its fine to my original design only

    I have two questions:

    1. Should I pay some part amount as a thank you for the work he put in? Granted it was after a lot of pushing, but he did some work and I don't want to say no without offering some money

    2. I don't want to spoil the friendship, but also don't want to pay the entire amount as I feel there was no new work done to warrant that charge. How can I refuse it politely and still not spoil future relations?

    I'm not sure how the graphic world works, but isn't there some sort of advance token taken to show artwork, and you just leave it if you don't like it and the advance is the payment for work done?

    Since I never paid an advance, how can I offer it now and not offend? And if I don't offer, won't that ruin our friendship?

    1 AnswerFriends8 years ago
  • How do I deal with a friend whom I've hired to work for me?

    I asked a friend to design some business cards for me, he is a graphic designer. This request was over two months ago, and he agreed to do it. I sent samples of my existing card and since my logo is just the name of my business, asked that it not be changed at all. All I wanted as a change was some kind of soft design in the background

    After repeated emails and reminders, after almost two months, he sent me two revised cards, with very loud designs that totally did not match my requirement. He had also quoted an amount for the artwork, and I had agreed, even offered to pay it in advance, but he refused.

    I rejected the designs, and the next email I got was my original design, with the written information changed in fonts, everything else the same. I said I still like this but its the same design right? He agreed and said he will reduce is rates by 30% if I'm going with the same design.

    I have kinda agreed out of embarrassment, but its not how i feel really, as I still feel 70% is a lot to pay for just tweaking the existing card by changing a font. I would rather print my card as is, but I've now kinda agreed that its fine to my original design only

    I have two questions:

    1. Should I pay some part amount as a thank you for the work he put in? Granted it was after a lot of pushing, but he did some work and I don't want to say no without offering some money

    2. I don't want to spoil the friendship, but also don't want to pay the entire amount as I feel there was no new work done to warrant that charge. How can I refuse it politely and still not spoil future relations?

    I'm not sure how the graphic world works, but isn't there some sort of advance token taken to show artwork, and you just leave it if you don't like it and the advance is the payment for work done?

    Since I never paid an advance, how can I offer it now and not offend?

    Btw, its not a very big amount in total, but still, if I'm using my existing design, I feel its a waste to pay any kind of money for it except for printing! I can't say that cause he's a friend

    Any help?

    1 AnswerFriends8 years ago
  • How do I deal with a friend I've hired to work for me?

    Hello, I have a strange problem, can you please help?

    I asked a friend to design some business cards for me, he is a graphic designer. This request was over two months ago, and he agreed to do it. I sent samples of my existing card and since my logo is just the name of my business, asked that it not be changed at all. All I wanted as a change was some kind of soft design in the background

    After repeated emails and reminders, after almost two months, he sent me two revised cards, with very loud designs that totally did not match my requirement. He had also quoted an amount for the artwork, and I had agreed, even offered to pay it in advance, but he refused.

    I rejected the designs, and the next email I got was my original design, with the written information changed in fonts, everything else the same. I said I still like this but its the same design right? He agreed and said he will reduce is rates by 30% if I'm going with the same design.

    I have kinda agreed, but its not a wholehearted thing, as I still feel 70% is a lot to pay for just tweaking the existing card by changing a font.

    I have two questions:

    1. Should I pay some part amount as a thank you for the work he put in? Granted it was after a lot of pushing, but he did some work and I don't want to say no without offering some money

    2. I don't want to spoil the friendship, but also don't want to pay the entire amount as I feel there was no new work done to warrant that charge. How can I refuse it politely and still not spoil future relations?

    I'm not sue how the graphic world works, but isn't there some sort of advance token taken to show artwork, and you just leave it if you don't like it and the advance is the payment for work done?

    Since I never paid an advance, how can I offer it now and not offend?

    Btw, its not a very big amount in total, but still, if I'm using my existing design, I feel its a waste to pay any kind of money for it except for printing!

    Any help?

    2 AnswersFriends8 years ago
  • Total confidence to total failure.....pls help!!?

    Hi, I am a 33 yr old girl, went to the US 10 yrs ago to do my MBA, full of life and confidence, started working, changed a few jobs through my career, from smaller companies climbing up to a banking role, where I got laid off after a 1.5 yrs, in part because the market was bad, but in part also, I think, because my confidence in my performance was slipping, I was on a visa, which the company may not have wanted to continue sponsoring in the face of layoffs. My confidence slipped, but I managed to get another role quickly and continue my visa. This role was horrible, my manager hated me, there was no learning curve and I was in constant fear of my visa, after a year I finally left and they were ready to let me go too.

    Not willing to come back home as that felt like failure, I persevered and got a contract role with a company agreeing to continue my visa, but it was last min and I was mentally preparing to go back to India and they wanted me to pay for expenses, so I let it go and returned home. That was I think a big mistake as it was very hard for me to adjust, family and work all so different here. I joined a bank right away, but kept comparing work to the US, and 6 months down the road left that role. SInce then, I have tried to boost my self confidence by taking care of my health, joined french classes, got into a relationship, and started helping out in my mom's clothing business (a very small enterprise). All this helped but then my relationship ended and the guy ended up marrying someone a few months later. This got me depressed but I kept my health routine up, came back to the US to visit, had a great time but felt super dissatisfied at not earning a paycheck. I met friends who seem well settled and secure with a job, a home, spouse etc. I struggle as I feel like a failure, I'm not earning money and feel like I work in the business just to have something to do. I've applied for jobs but no response. I feel like I've wasted my past decade and done and accomplished nothing. Suddenly, I went from a confident, beautiful girl to a self-doubting person, feeling worthless and unable to do anything in life. My fear of failure is strong, and I tend to run away from a situation if it becomes difficult. In India, 33 is quite old and one should be married, that's adding to my worries, also, I'm stubborn to accept my mistakes, but internally I want to improve and come back to my old self, my parents are supportive but their criticism hits me hard, I am too sensitive to it. What happened and how can I get it all back? I'm so confused about where all this started slipping and want it back, I'm young enough to, and keep comparing myself with other friends, seeing their lives and feeing more useless....I know I'm not and I can do what I put my mind too, but somewhere I've limited my capabilities and am unable to get out of that bind....pls help! 



    1 AnswerMental Health8 years ago
  • From confidence to depression...pls help !!?

    Hi, I am a 33 yr old girl, went to the US 10 yrs ago to do my MBA, full of life and confidence, started working, changed a few jobs through my career, from smaller companies climbing up to a banking role, where I got laid off after a 1.5 yrs, in part because the market was bad, but in part also, I think, because my confidence in my performance was slipping, I was on a visa, which the company may not have wanted to continue sponsoring in the face of layoffs. My confidence slipped, but I managed to get another role quickly and continue my visa. This role was horrible, my manager hated me, there was no learning curve and I was in constant fear of my visa, after a year I finally left and they were ready to let me go too.

    Not willing to come back home as that felt like failure, I persevered and got a contract role with a company agreeing to continue my visa, but it was last min and I was mentally preparing to go back to India and they wanted me to pay for expenses, so I let it go and returned home. That was I think a big mistake as it was very hard for me to adjust, family and work all so different here. I joined a bank right away, but kept comparing work to the US, and 6 months down the road left that role. SInce then, I have tried to boost my self confidence by taking care of my health, joined french classes, got into a relationship, and started helping out in my mom's clothing business (a very small enterprise). All this helped but then my relationship ended and the guy ended up marrying someone a few months later. This got me depressed but I kept my health routine up, came back to the US to visit, had a great time but felt super dissatisfied at not earning a paycheck. I met friends who seem well settled and secure with a job, a home, spouse etc. I struggle as I feel like a failure, I'm not earning money and feel like I work in the business just to have something to do. I've applied for jobs but no response. I feel like I've wasted my past decade and done and accomplished nothing. Suddenly, I went from a confident, beautiful girl to a self-doubting person, feeling worthless and unable to do anything in life. My fear of failure is strong, and I tend to run away from a situation if it becomes difficult. In India, 33 is quite old and one should be married, that's adding to my worries, also, I'm stubborn to accept my mistakes, but internally I want to improve and come back to my old self, my parents are supportive but their criticism hits me hard, I am too sensitive to it. What happened and how can I get it all back? I'm so confused about where all this started slipping and want it back, I'm young enough to, and keep comparing myself with other friends, seeing their lives and feeing more useless....I know I'm not and I can do what I put my mind too, but somewhere I've limited my capabilities and am unable to get out of that bind....pls help! 



    2 AnswersMental Health8 years ago
  • From confidence to depression...pls help !!?

    Hi, I am a 33 yr old girl, went to the US 10 yrs ago to do my MBA, full of life and confidence, started working, changed a few jobs through my career, from smaller companies climbing up to a banking role, where I got laid off after a 1.5 yrs, in part because the market was bad, but in part also, I think, because my confidence in my performance was slipping, I was on a visa, which the company may not have wanted to continue sponsoring in the face of layoffs. My confidence slipped, but I managed to get another role quickly and continue my visa. This role was horrible, my manager hated me, there was no learning curve and I was in constant fear of my visa, after a year I finally left and they were ready to let me go too.

    Not willing to come back home as that felt like failure, I persevered and got a contract role with a company agreeing to continue my visa, but it was last min and I was mentally preparing to go back to India and they wanted me to pay for expenses, so I let it go and returned home. That was I think a big mistake as it was very hard for me to adjust, family and work all so different here. I joined a bank right away, but kept comparing work to the US, and 6 months down the road left that role. SInce then, I have tried to boost my self confidence by taking care of my health, joined french classes, got into a relationship, and started helping out in my mom's clothing business (a very small enterprise). All this helped but then my relationship ended and the guy ended up marrying someone a few months later. This got me depressed but I kept my health routine up, came back to the US to visit, had a great time but felt super dissatisfied at not earning a paycheck. I met friends who seem well settled and secure with a job, a home, spouse etc. I struggle as I feel like a failure, I'm not earning money and feel like I work in the business just to have something to do. I've applied for jobs but no response. I feel like I've wasted my past decade and done and accomplished nothing. Suddenly, I went from a confident, beautiful girl to a self-doubting person, feeling worthless and unable to do anything in life. My fear of failure is strong, and I tend to run away from a situation if it becomes difficult. In India, 33 is quite old and one should be married, that's adding to my worries, also, I'm stubborn to accept my mistakes, but internally I want to improve and come back to my old self, my parents are supportive but their criticism hits me hard, I am too sensitive to it. What happened and how can I get it all back? I'm so confused about where all this started slipping and want it back, I'm young enough to, and keep comparing myself with other friends, seeing their lives and feeing more useless....I know I'm not and I can do what I put my mind too, but somewhere I've limited my capabilities and am unable to get out of that bind....pls help! 



    3 AnswersMental Health8 years ago
  • Should I kis him? Pls help!!?

    Ok, so we are both adults, 30, and I've been seeing him for the past couple of weeks, few dinners and a movie and its really nice. We met, to be honest, online, and we like each other's company. He's ok looking, not bad i mean, but the only trouble is, I'm finding it hard to be attracted to him like that...

    My last relationship, I was sooo attracted to the guy, could not think straight when he was around and i'd blush and be lost, I know it sounds corny, but it was like that. With this one, he's mature and nice and thoughtful too but I don't feel the attraction so much at all

    We are going out tonight again, and I won't see him for a couple of weeks after since he's going to be out of town, and he has a birthday in a couple of days, so I know he's expecting me to kiss him today, he even laughed abt it when I said I don't have a gift for him! (btw should I get him something?)

    How do I handle this? I want to be graceful abt it and want it to happen naturally, and want to feel something for him, but I'm just not until now....pls help!!

    2 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question....can someone help me answer it please?

    Ok, so we are both adults, 30, and I've been seeing him for the past couple of weeks, few dinners and a movie and its really nice. We met, to be honest, online, and we like each other's company. He's ok looking, not bad i mean, but the only trouble is, I'm finding it hard to be attracted to him like that...

    My last relationship, I was sooo attracted to the guy, could not think straight when he was around and i'd blush and be lost, I know it sounds corny, but it was like that. With this one, he's mature and nice and thoughtful too but I don't feel the attraction so much at all

    We are going out tonight again, and I won't see him for a couple of weeks after since he's going to be out of town, and he has a birthday in a couple of days, so I know he's expecting me to kiss him today, he even laughed abt it when I said I don't have a gift for him! (btw should I get him something?)

    How do I handle this? I want to be graceful abt it and want it to happen naturally, and want to feel something for him, but I'm just not until now....pls help!!

    3 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • How to kiss this guy.......pls help!!?

    Ok, so we are both adults, 30, and I've been seeing him for the past couple of weeks, few dinners and a movie and its really nice. We met, to be honest, online, and we like each other's company. He's ok looking, not bad i mean, but the only trouble is, I'm finding it hard to be attracted to him like that...

    My last relationship, I was sooo attracted to the guy, could not think straight when he was around and i'd blush and be lost, I know it sounds corny, but it was like that. With this one, he's mature and nice and thoughtful too but I don't feel the attraction so much at all

    We are going out tonight again, and I won't see him for a couple of weeks after since he's going to be out of town, and he has a birthday in a couple of days, so I know he's expecting me to kiss him today, he even laughed abt it when I said I don't have a gift for him! (btw should I get him something?)

    How do I handle this? I want to be graceful abt it and want it to happen naturally, and want to feel something for him, but I'm just not until now....pls help!!

    Thanks

    3 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Accept a date on Valentine's Day?

    I met this guy online last month, something I don't really do normally....but we met up for coffee and got along well, he wanted to meet me again for dinner a couple of days later, and we did, it was great fun again, lots of common stuff to talk about....

    He went abroad for 2 weeks soon after, and came back just today. Before he left, he asked me out for Valentine's day, but I said we'll see, as I have a wedding to attend during the weekend (its a four day affair)....

    We chatted a couple of times on email while he was away, and played phone tag today, so haven't chatted with him...we haven't talked abt valentines day plans yet....

    My question is, he's going to call me tomorrow, for sure, and if he asks me out to dinner, do I accept? I mean, its as last minute as possible!! this day is not a big deal for me, so I don't really care either way, but I don't want to give the impression that i was just sitting around waiting for him to ask again at the last sec and I'm available!

    Can I say I have dinner plans with friends and get away with a drink instead? Or should I accept in a way that makes it sound plausible? I kinda like this guy, and would like to see things work, so don't want to play games but at the same time don't want to give an "easy" or "eager" impression...help?

    1 AnswerSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Guys only.........what do you think !!?

    I went out with this guy for 3 months, not very long sure, but got into it quite deeply and fell in love with him......he went on a few dates with someone else a couple of months into it, and when I was upset, broke up....over text! It sounds bad, but I was really into him!!

    A few months later we communicate again, I initiated it, and I am traveling so it was long distance, and he told me how much he still loves me, and flirting with me all the time, and sending me e-mails and calling me and saying he misses me.....but he’s also seeing that other girl now....and with me so far away he cannot think straight...

    Now just yesterday I saw on a common’s friend’s status that they are having a bachelor party for him!! He hasn’t been answering my e-mails for the past week, and hasn’t mentioned anything like this at all!! Now he’s getting married suddenly?? He told me 2 weeks ago he still loves me!! I mean, wtf!!

    I messaged him just casually and he said he was out for a few days, as he and the other girl are making it official soon so it was a bachelor party for him!! I wrote to him saying that he's quite a piece of work, and that I hope he can be faithful to her in the future.....and he goes,

    "there's no reason why I shouldn't express what I feel for someone. As far as the engagement is concerned, we decided in the past few days, so there’s nothing wrong there!

    All I can say is, my intentions were clear & in the open and were never meant to hurt you..if u really feel I deserve this kinda reaction, then I guess I should just apologize (like I did the last time around!), and hope for u to see things rationally some day"

    I want to know how can he express feelings for love for someone and decide to get engaged to someone else a few weeks later and think its all fine? Does that make sense? What about how he's making me feel by saying all this and then backing off? I just want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this or is he right in what he's saying?

    8 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Guys only.........what do you think !!?

    I went out with this guy for 3 months, not very long sure, but got into it quite deeply and fell in love with him......he went on a few dates with someone else a couple of months into it, and when I was upset, broke up....over text! It sounds bad, but I was really into him!!

    A few months later we communicate again, I initiated it, and I am traveling so it was long distance, and he told me how much he still loves me, and flirting with me all the time, and sending me e-mails and calling me and saying he misses me.....but he’s also seeing that other girl now....and with me so far away he cannot think straight...

    Now just yesterday I saw on a common’s friend’s status that they are having a bachelor party for him!! He hasn’t been answering my e-mails for the past week, and hasn’t mentioned anything like this at all!! Now he’s getting married suddenly?? He told me 2 weeks ago he still loves me!! I mean, wtf!!

    I messaged him just casually and he said he was out for a few days, as he and the other girl are making it official soon so it was a bachelor party for him!! I wrote to him saying that he's quite a piece of work, and that I hope he can be faithful to her in the future.....and he goes,

    "there's no reason why I shouldn't express what I feel for someone. As far as the engagement is concerned, we decided in the past few days, so there’s nothing wrong there!

    All I can say is, my intentions were clear & in the open and were never meant to hurt you..if u really feel I deserve this kinda reaction, then I guess I should just apologize (like I did the last time around!), and hope for u to see things rationally some day"

    I want to know how can he express feelings for love for someone and decide to get engaged to someone else a few weeks later and think its all fine? Does that make sense? What about how he's making me feel by saying all this and then backing off? I just want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this or is he right in what he's saying?

    6 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Guys only please......what is your opinion here !!?

    Long story short, I went out with this guy for 3 months, not very long sure, but got into it quite deeply and fell in love with him......he went on a few dates with someone else a couple of months into it, and when I was upset, broke up....over text! It sounds bad, but I was really into him!!

    A few months later we communicate again, I initiated it, and I was away so it was long distance, and he told me how much he still loves me, and flirting with me all the time, and sending me e-mails and calling me and saying he misses me.....but he’s also seeing that other girl now....and with me so far away he cannot think straight...

    Now just yesterday I saw on a common’s friend’s status that they are having a bachelor party for him!! He hasn’t been answering my e-mails for the past week, and hasn’t mentioned anything like this at all!! Now he’s getting married suddenly?? He told me 2 weeks ago he still loves me!! I mean, wtf!!

    I messaged him just casually and he said he was out traveling, as he and the other girl are making it official soon so it was a bachelor party for him!! I wrote to him saying that he's quite a piece of work, and that I hope he can be faithful to her in the future.....and he goes,

    "there's no reason why I shouldn't express what I feel for someone. As far as the engagement is concerned, we decided in the past few days, so there’s nothing wrong there!

    All I can say is, my intentions were clear & in the open and were never meant to hurt you..if u really feel I deserve this kinda reaction, then I guess I should just apologize (like I did the last time around!), and hope for u to see things rationally some day"

    Am I just over reacting or is this really wrong? Like how can he express feelings for love for someone and decide to get engaged to someone else a few weeks later and think its all fine? Does that make sense? What about how he's making me feel by saying all this and then backing off?

    I just want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this and is he right?

    1 AnswerSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Guys only.....can this really happen or was I just played !!?

    Long story short, I went out with this guy for 3 months, not very long sure, but got into it quite deeply and fell in love with him......he went on a few dates with someone else a couple of months into it, and when I was upset, broke up....over text! It sounds bad, but I was really into him!!

    A few months later we communicate again, I initiated it, and I was away so it was long distance, and he told me how much he still loves me, and flirting with me all the time, and sending me e-mails and calling me and saying he misses me.....but he’s also seeing that other girl now....and with me so far away he cannot think straight...

    Now just yesterday I saw on a common’s friend’s status that they are having a bachelor party for him!! He hasn’t been answering my e-mails for the past week, and hasn’t mentioned anything like this at all!! Now he’s getting married suddenly?? He told me 2 weeks ago he still loves me!! I mean, wtf!!

    I messaged him just casually and he said he was out traveling, as he and the other girl are making it official soon so it was a bachelor party for him!! I wrote to him saying that he's quite a piece of work, and that I hope he can be faithful to her in the future.....and he goes,

    "there's no reason why I shouldn't express what I feel for someone. As far as the engagement is concerned, we decided in the past few days, so there’s nothing wrong there!

    All I can say is, my intentions were clear & in the open and were never meant to hurt you..if u really feel I deserve this kinda reaction, then I guess I should just apologize (like I did the last time around!), and hope for u to see things rationally some day"

    Am I just over reacting or is this really wrong? Like how can he express feelings for love for someone and decide to get engaged to someone else a few weeks later and think its all fine? Does that make sense? What about how he's making me feel by saying all this and then backing off?

    I just want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this and is he right?

    2 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Guys only.....can this really happen or was I just played !!?

    Long story short, I went out with this guy for 3 months, not very long sure, but got into it quite deeply and fell in love with him......he went on a few dates with someone else a couple of months into it, and when I was upset, broke up....over text! It sounds bad, but I was really into him!!

    A few months later we communicate again, I initiated it, and I was away so it was long distance, and he told me how much he still loves me, and flirting with me all the time, and sending me e-mails and calling me and saying he misses me.....but he’s also seeing that other girl now....and with me so far away he cannot think straight...

    Now just yesterday I saw on a common’s friend’s status that they are having a bachelor party for him!! He hasn’t been answering my e-mails for the past week, and hasn’t mentioned anything like this at all!! Now he’s getting married suddenly?? He told me 2 weeks ago he still loves me!! I mean, wtf!!

    I messaged him just casually and he said he was out traveling, as he and the other girl are making it official soon so it was a bachelor party for him!! I wrote to him saying that he's quite a piece of work, and that I hope he can be faithful to her in the future.....and he goes,

    "there's no reason why I shouldn't express what I feel for someone. As far as the engagement is concerned, we decided in the past few days, so there’s nothing wrong there!

    All I can say is, my intentions were clear & in the open and were never meant to hurt you..if u really feel I deserve this kinda reaction, then I guess I should just apologize (like I did the last time around!), and hope for u to see things rationally some day"

    Am I just over reacting or is this really wrong? Like how can he express feelings for love for someone and decide to get engaged to someone else a few weeks later and think its all fine? Does that make sense? What about how he's making me feel by saying all this and then backing off?

    I just want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this and is he right?

    3 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Guys only.....can this really happen or was I just played !!?

    Long story short, I went out with this guy for 3 months, not very long sure, but got into it quite deeply and fell in love with him......he went on a few dates with someone else a couple of months into it, and when I was upset, broke up....over text! It sounds bad, but I was really into him!!

    A few months later we communicate again, I initiated it, and I was away so it was long distance, and he told me how much he still loves me, and flirting with me all the time, and sending me e-mails and calling me and saying he misses me.....but he’s also seeing that other girl now....and with me so far away he cannot think straight...

    Now just yesterday I saw on a common’s friend’s status that they are having a bachelor party for him!! He hasn’t been answering my e-mails for the past week, and hasn’t mentioned anything like this at all!! Now he’s getting married suddenly?? He told me 2 weeks ago he still loves me!! I mean, wtf!!

    I messaged him just casually and he said he was out traveling, as he and the other girl are making it official soon so it was a bachelor party for him!! I wrote to him saying that he's quite a piece of work, and that I hope he can be faithful to her in the future.....and he goes,

    "there's no reason why I shouldn't express what I feel for someone. As far as the engagement is concerned, we decided in the past few days, so there’s nothing wrong there!

    All I can say is, my intentions were clear & in the open and were never meant to hurt you..if u really feel I deserve this kinda reaction, then I guess I should just apologize (like I did the last time around!), and hope for u to see things rationally some day"

    Am I just over reacting or is this really wrong? Like how can he express feelings for love for someone and decide to get engaged to someone else a few weeks later and think its all fine? Does that make sense? What about how he's making me feel by saying all this and then backing off?

    I just want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this and is he right?

    4 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Guys only.....can this really happen or was I just played !!?

    Long story short, I went out with this guy for 3 months, not very long sure, but got into it quite deeply and fell in love with him......he went on a few dates with someone else a couple of months into it, and when I was upset, broke up....over text! It sounds bad, but I was really into him!!

    A few months later we communicate again, I initiated it, and I was away so it was long distance, and he told me how much he still loves me, and flirting with me all the time, and sending me e-mails and calling me and saying he misses me.....but he’s also seeing that other girl now....and with me so far away he cannot think straight...

    Now just yesterday I saw on a common’s friend’s status that they are having a bachelor party for him!! He hasn’t been answering my e-mails for the past week, and hasn’t mentioned anything like this at all!! Now he’s getting married suddenly?? He told me 2 weeks ago he still loves me!! I mean, wtf!!

    I messaged him just casually and he said he was out traveling, as he and the other girl are making it official soon so it was a bachelor party for him!! I wrote to him saying that he's quite a piece of work, and that I hope he can be faithful to her in the future.....and he goes,

    "there's no reason why I shouldn't express what I feel for someone. As far as the engagement is concerned, we decided in the past few days, so there’s nothing wrong there!

    All I can say is, my intentions were clear & in the open and were never meant to hurt you..if u really feel I deserve this kinda reaction, then I guess I should just apologize (like I did the last time around!), and hope for u to see things rationally some day"

    Am I just over reacting or is this really wrong? Like how can he express feelings for love for someone and decide to get engaged to someone else a few weeks later and think its all fine? Does that make sense? What about how he's making me feel by saying all this and then backing off?

    I just want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this and is he right?

    3 AnswersSingles & Dating8 years ago
  • Guys only.....can this really happen or was I just played !!?

    Long story short, I went out with this guy for 3 months, not very long sure, but got into it quite deeply and fell in love with him......he went on a few dates with someone else a couple of months into it, and when I was upset, broke up....over text! It sounds bad, but I was really into him!!

    A few months later we communicate again, I initiated it, and I was away so it was long distance, and he told me how much he still loves me, and flirting with me all the time, and sending me e-mails and calling me and saying he misses me.....but he’s also seeing that other girl now....and with me so far away he cannot think straight...

    Now just yesterday I saw on a common’s friend’s status that they are having a bachelor party for him!! He hasn’t been answering my e-mails for the past week, and hasn’t mentioned anything like this at all!! Now he’s getting married suddenly?? He told me 2 weeks ago he still loves me!! I mean, wtf!!

    I messaged him just casually and he said he was out traveling, as he and the other girl are making it official soon so it was a bachelor party for him!! I wrote to him saying that he's quite a piece of work, and that I hope he can be faithful to her in the future.....and he goes,

    "there's no reason why I shouldn't express what I feel for someone. As far as the engagement is concerned, we decided in the past few days, so there’s nothing wrong there!

    All I can say is, my intentions were clear & in the open and were never meant to hurt you..if u really feel I deserve this kinda reaction, then I guess I should just apologize (like I did the last time around!), and hope for u to see things rationally some day"

    Am I just over reacting or is this really wrong? Like how can he express feelings for love for someone and decide to get engaged to someone else a few weeks later and think its all fine? Does that make sense? What about how he's making me feel by saying all this and then backing off?

    I just want to know if I'm wrong for thinking this and is he right?

    1 AnswerSingles & Dating8 years ago