Kate

I'm an atheist who lives in Scotland and over the last couple of weeks I've been annoyed by religious people. Normally when someone annoys me I fall back on the traditional Scottish response of swearing/mild violence.

In this instance I had no idea what to do because the irritants were American mormons. Seriously, I thought they were some made up thing by US comedians. The problem is that they are so nice and cheerful that I can't tell them to shove off. They were out in my street and it started to snow slightly so I invited them in for tea. Big mistake! They take that as a sign I can be won over. I've said I don't believe in god but they just won't quit. They seem to be here on some missionary cause and I get the feeling they'll be here a good while.

When jehovah's witnesses came to the door I got them to leave by declaring myself a satanist but I don't think it'll work this time. It was Burn's night recently and I gave them some haggis- sheep innards failed to repel them!

I don't really know much about mormons and I can't fight their lovely accents and shiny teeth. I feel like hurting them would be like slapping Bambi. I just can't do it. Someone please give me tips on getting rid of them.

I'm trying to find a film for my grandmother and would appreciate any help. The film is pretty much a Cinderella type of story however that name isn't featured in the title. It isn't the Richard Chamberlain Slipper and the Rose. It's in colour and from what I remember the costumes were rather lavish and the film was what would be described as a period piece.

I don't know any of the actors but the Cinderella role was played by a ballerina who had very short dark hair. I know this isn't much to go on but if it rings a bell with anyone please help me out as it'd really make my gran happy.

I am going to Cyprus in a few days with my friend who is Catholic. Religion is very important to her and she has found a church she wants to attend while on holiday. I'm an atheist but I don't mind keeping her company and I think it would be interesting to see what happens.

The only church I've ever been to was Church of Scotland so I have no idea what happens in a catholic service. I don't want to embarrass my friend with my ignorance so I'd appreciate any help. Is there a typical kind of service or does each church vary? Do they have communion at each service? I've only seen catholic services in films and tv shows and have no idea if they're accurate or not.