Faeth B

I am 19. My body ratio SUCKS, it goes -

37.8 chest

31 waist

41 hips

I have dealt with an eating disorder for about two years now, and am really getting to the end of my limit. Is there a surgery to get rid of hip? That's the only thing I don't like.. my stomach doesn't stick out, it's flat when I turn to the side and look at it, but my hips stick out so wide that it looks like I'm twice the size I am.

I've been suicidal for years, this fact is one of the reasons.

I have been aware for a few years now of a personality snafu in my life. When in grade school I created an imaginary friend, who was a part of me, named Jessica. Jess seemed to have taken on a more dominant role though, and now, three years out of school (Well... one if I staid in school) I think she has a whole part of me. When she's "active" I am very much aware of what's going on, and though I don't feel in control I do feel I know more about what's going on then someone with a personality disorder... then, there's my other side, a very very dark side, where sometimes I feel completely useless and helpless and don't remember everything that happens. This side has choked friends, held knife to people, and done.. just mean things I would never do, being someone with a genuinly kind heart and social phobia...

So my question is am I just bat sh*t crazy, or is this truly a personality disorder?

So the reason I ask, not to be rude to my family or anything, is my mother is a VERY "busty" woman, she is a huge cup size and has huge hips. My mother raised me to eat when stressed, eat when upset, and to eat junk food when working on a huge project for school. Now that I'm on my own I feel like I can't seem to kick these habits. When I'm working on schoolwork I tend to want to snack, whether I've just eaten or not... stress is huge right now (I have an unsteady income and am falling behind in bills, not to mention my severe social phobia while attending college). So I've been eating and eating, I go back and forth between bingeing for a week at a time to starving myself for a week at a time. I feel like if I'm eating a normal amount I'm going to gain weight, when I don't eat I feel great, but when I binge I feel horrible about myself during the time I'm eating but I feel almost like I can't stop myself. I used to eat very healthy, vegetarian, ate a lot of fruits and vegetables, and drank "Carnation Breakfast Essentials" in the mornings before work. But once my boss (I'm a nanny) started paying me a little off (used to pay me every Monday.. now he's over 600 dollars in debt to me) I began to eat and eat. I am exercising twice as much now, feeling horrible, but I can't seem to lose anything. I've been the same weight since I was in eighth grade, and now am a freshmen in college. Is there any chance of me being able to stop these binges? Or is what my mother engraved in my head going to stick for life? I feel like I have no control over my life, and I feel I may just start being suicidal again (went through a rough patch during my high school years). Please someone help because I feel like I'm just useless, I can't seem to help anyone else and I'm just a fat-*** slob.

Here's the link to my picture:

http://www.everydayhealth.com/profile/Sh%E2%80%A6

Sorry I don't have anything chest down because I hate the way I look waist down.

I know, it sounds weird because a lot of people want to have my figure. my BMI tells me I'm just on the edge of healthy and overweight, I eat healthy (I have a few "treats" on occasion), drink well (flavored waters, vitamin water, fuze, and very occasionally a sprite or pepsi max/diet pepsi), and though I don't exercise, I am an active person. I know I need to take time out of my day to exercise, but I have a hard time getting into a routine (despite the fact that I'm OCD and have the same routine every day).

Here are my measurements:

Height: 5' 5 1/2"

Waist: 35 in.

Hips: 40 in.

Chest: 38 in.

Thighs: 25 in.

Calves: 14

Biceps: 11

I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions?

Also, I have a food diary and exercise diary on "everydayhealth.com" that I regularly update.

I'm getting so tired of doctors telling me I'm dehydrated! I'm about ready to tear out my hair! I have seen my regular doctor three times, a cardiologist, a neurologist, my eye doctor, a second "normal" doctor four times, and have had several tests done (EEG, EKG, MRI, Blood Tests, Vision Tests, Blood Pressure tests) and ALL they can come up with is I'm dehydrated. BULL! I am CONSTANTLY drinking, and I seldom drink pop, even so, if I DO drink pop it's Sprite.. I drink flavored water, Vitamin Water, and Fuze. ALL THE TIME. On top of that every morning I drink juice, and I drink two glasses of plain water in the morning and night when I take my medicine (woman's multi-vitamin, calcium supplement, Meclozine, and Allegra).

My symptoms are:

*Severe muscle pains (much like arthritis, but I have that, and it's different, more intense, and lasts for periods of only a few minutes)

*Uncontrollable muscle spasms of the elbows and eyebrows (Where I feel I HAVE TO flex them, or scrunch them, otherwise it's uncomfortable)

*Dizzy spells (stand up like normal I become slightly dizzy, have gotten dizzy to the point of falling, passing out, and temporary blindness)

*Repeated Charlie Horses in my left foot and right hip. (when I say repeated I mean five or six IN A ROW where my foot is paralyzed in a bend)

Extra information: I have been hospitalized over this for the dizzy spells alone, and even they didn't know what to tell me. I am at a lost right now, and beginning to think that maybe I AM just crazy...

Okay so this is a stretch, but I'm looking for a specific poem I found a while ago about eating disorders.. it's something about "eating with eating disorders" and it basically is the narrator is the controller of all these eating disorders that "it" is eating lunch/dinner with. Telling them things like "What, you're not hungry? It's okay, it would have made you fat anyway." and "Why don't you excuse yourself to the bathroom now." ....stuff like that.

I'm 18.

I have made myself throw up three times, but have attempted to make myself through up dozens of times.

I restrict my eating and have gone without eating for days at a time.

I have a gym membership, but I don't go because I don't like exercising in front of people.

I've been diagnosed with Social Phobia, Bipolar Disorder Type Two, and Depression.

But I'm still overweight, since this all started 6 months ago I've only lost six pounds, five of which I lost when I went a full week without eating a thing.

Also, what should I do? I want help, I'm tired of this... I'm tired of breaking down into tears by just looking at myself in the mirror... I'm tired of this little voice in my head telling me I'm a fat *** and I'm not good enough..

Please help... I'm to the point of just wanting to give up on life I'm so miserable with this...

So this is a total shot in the dark but it's bugging me and I don't know the answer.. no one I've asked does... it's a giant "O" on the right.. then on the left written on top is "or" and on bottom is "or"... not exactly above and below but to the left side kinda on top of eachother... any ideas? Or did my description just blow?

Alright so this is my second question asked this morning in "Diet and Fitness", but I really am at a loss of what to do right now...

In my last question I stated I'm 17, a little under 5'6", overweight (160), and have a large cup size (38DD)... and I'm not sure what to do anymore...

I've become morbidly obsessed with the scale, I'll weigh myself 4-10 times in just a day. I'll go one or two days without eating then I'll relapse and eat and eat and eat (about 2 meals and 1 or 2 snacks). I'm going to the doctor in January because for years I've been plagued with dizzy spells and not eating ha made them worse and worse.. I exercise obsessively, but I never do it when anyone's around, and that includes family! I exercise every chance I get when I'm home alone and I'll do it until it hurts.

I'm tired of my friends calling me "curvy", I'm tired of guys only looking at my chest and not my face, and most of all I'm tired of whenever I try to get help with my scale obsession in this family all they say is "oh us ____'s don't care what the scale says." which just really ticks me off because I DO!

I need help!

No one is willing to help me and I'm pretty much at the point of OD'ing on diet pills and laxatives and not even caring if they kill me or not!

Before I start I know a lot of women would kill to have curves, and I'm really sorry that you don't and I do... but I am so self conscious and I'm tired of everyone saying I have a ghetto booty and "jealous" of my large chest. I'd give anything to get rid of it... I'm 17, a little under 5'6", weigh 160 lbs, have a 38DD cup... Any advice? Because from what I heard all dieting is going to do is make me curvier and I don't want that.. once again I'm really sorry I'm just a very depressed child whose tired of looking like a woman in her late 20's.

Hey guys.. I do youtube videos and recently my old computer crashed, so my father got me a Mac iBook G4.. the only problem is that my camera is a Kodak C182.. and I had to buy a Targus Card Reader just for the videos to show.. now I don't know what to do to edit.. I've never owned a Mac before and my dad isn't in my life enough for me to ask him.. can someone give me something that's free that I can use? Oh, and I don't want a free trial, I want something that won't expire in ___ amount of days.

Thank you in advance!

Alright, so the last 2 videos I've tried to upload have failed.. without even a moments hesitation.. and the last 2 videos ON my account are still processing. It says after 8 hours of processing to try again, so I took the one that was on there for a good 48 hours off and tried again last night. It took a long time to upload (I think 6 hours maybe) and it's still processing (It's been about 5 hours processing).. can someone tell me what to do? Because as of now I can't get any videos onto my account...

Second Question:

I use sony vegas pro 9 to edit my videos, and the GB is always huge, so I have to crop out a lot of the video that I wanted to have originally on there... a second question, does anyone know a free editing software that might be able to use less GBs to save?

Hi, I recently got a Kodak C182 to help me shoot my youtube videos.. my old camera (great camera) broke when I was shooting a scene for a parody with my friend and I dropped the camera during a running scene... (I know I was dumb!!!). Anyway... I shot all of my scenes for the vid and I transfered them to my computer, all the videos are "quicktime player" videos.. but the thing is I can't edit them or stitch the vids together if they're quicktime because quicktime isn't considered "media file"... can someone help me with this because I'm so confused and lost at this point... ARGH!!! HELP PLEASE!!!

I'm 17 and I think I'm in love with someone who doesn't live in the same state as me. Whenever I start thinking about us I get incredibly dizzy and loose my balance. What could this mean? We talk almost daily and when I don't talk to him I get incredibly depressed and don't really want to do anything else. When we do talk I get dizzy and I have a headache. I often find myself dreaming about us being together and living together and married. What does this mean? What should I do?

Find the interest on 4,000$ at 3.5% annual interest for 1 year 6 months

Greetings, I'm working on studying for my GED (one month away -bites fingernails-) and I need some help with a math problem. I'm really slow so a lot of details would be greatly appreciated! Oh, and if you have any websites to help me with my math (my weak subject) then I'd also love love love that. Thanks, and have a nice day.

So my computer got attacked, and I had to get it fixed; it took a lot to get it fixed, but it is now (yay). The only problem is my built in mic isn't working now. Please don't tell me "get a new mic" because I also have a headset, I plug it in and it doesn't work either; so nothing works. I need help! Please! Thank you.

Is there like another button you press to manual on the bike? Because I can't do it, and I'm stuck getting the last challenge to join the black widows because of it!!! HELP! THanks. :)

It's my only question left on my paper for "Of Mice and Men". I am guessing it's "brotherly love" or something like that? If someone could help me I'd love it.

So there's this guy

with that perfect smile

that perfect kiss

that perfect being

A guy that has

never made me cry

never told me I'm ugly

never said something wrong

Who will always

tell me that he loves me

tell me what he truly feels

tell me what he knows

Sharing with me

his love

his life

his heart

and his soul

All in exchange for

my time

my love

my care

my life...

And when he touches me

I feel like a princess

when he loves me

I can barely hold on

when he proposes

I will kiss him forever

Because he is my baby, and I love him so dear.

Hello, my name is Madison Billings and I am desperatly searching for a way to get to FL. I have NO money whatsoever, but I do have possessions to give away as a trade-off. Is anyone headed to there anytime soon? Or maybe is someone having good ideas on what to do? I REALLY need to get down there.