Elaine

My divorce becomes legal on May 4th. I am very unhappy with the current settlement in regards to visitation. I was sort of bullied into agreeing, but honestly thought that it would work out ok once everyone settled down.

I left my husband due to his alchoholism' marijuana use, chronic unemployment, and his physical and emotional abuse of me. I had virtually no proof of any of these things (other than the unemployment). I have full physical custody of the children, and he has visits- one weekend every three weeks, two non consecutive weeks during the summer, 4 days at winter break, 3 days at spring break. These visits are supervised by his mother.

There have been many problems, but I don't have any concrete proof of any of them. He yells and screams at the kids, goes into rages, picks on my oldest daughter (9 years old) mercilessly. They cry and beg me not to make them go to his house. He has "fogotten" to buy food for them so they end up not eating until noon. He has left them in restaraunts so he could "go get the car". His mom is completely foolish and 100% on his side. Believes I am the crazy one, and there is nothing wrong with his behavior at all.

I am contacting lawyers today, leaving messages. But I am going crazy waiting to hear back and I am wondering if anyone has any experience with this. Is it feasible to get a visitation order changed in this situation? Or do I need proof of something worse? I do not want to take visitation away completely- just no more overnight visits.

9 months ago, I left my husband, took my two kids, and moved in with my mom. This was supposed to be a very temporary situation- I was going to move in to my own place asap. However, two weeks later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, so I stayed to take care of her. Taking care of my mom has included taking care of her 5 bedroom house, 12 cats (yes, you read that right), 2 dogs, swimming pool, and her medical needs, including chemo, 5 hospital stays, many ER and urgent care visits, nightly injections, etc. etc..... I did all of this for months without complaint. I have spent huge amounts of money on gas, her food and medicine, supplies for her house and pets, etc. And I am paying her rent.

My mom is doing much better now. I am ready (and very anxious) to move out. My kids and I need a fresh start. I would stay close by so I could come over every day and help, do her shopping, etc until she doesn't need it any more. She is very stubborn and refuses to get rid of some of the pets and move to a smaller place, and makes me feel insanely guilty for wanting my own life. She has come to depend on me completely for everything and has gotten to the point where she plays dumb half the time and acts like she can't do things that I know she can do- like handle decisions about her insurance, or call the doctor to make an appointment. She expects me to just live with her forever, cleaning up cat messes and never having a life of my own. How can I get her to be more reasonable and understand my need to be an adult and provide my kids with a more normal childhood? Any (respectful) advice is appreciated.

My situation is rather complicated and I am seeking an attorney, but I am restless and looking for a little advice..

Basically, I left my husband of 9 years because he is a hopeless alcoholic and marijuana user. I took my two children with me. He is unemployed and has been for several years, depending financially on a trust that he inherited as a teenager. The trust gives him $5,000 a month. I do not want alimony or any kind of settlement- only child support. I live in California. Does anyone know if I can ask for support based on that $5,000 a month even though it is inheritance since it is his sole source of income?

Thank you!

I am trying to teach myself to crochet and have started my first project- a scarf. It is a very simple scarf that only uses two kinds of stitches- chain and crochet one. The problem is that my scarf is coming out curly- it curls up on the edges. It's actually kind of pretty, but it's not right. Does anyone know what I'm doing wrong? Thank you.

Two days ago, my 7 year old daughter started complaining of pain in her eye, and she had a small amount of yellowish discharge, so we had her flush it with water and put in two drops of Visine. The pain went away temporarily, so we thought it was over. Then she started complaining again. When I looked, she had a large circle around her eye- reddish skin. I thought she somehow gave herself a black eye- my kids play pretty rough, and while this would be unusual, it would not be impossible that she bumped something while running around. We had been treating it as a black eye- with ice packs, and there was no more discharge. The swelling and redness is greatly reduced- it almost looks normal. Now her other eye is doing it, too!!! My best guess is an eye allergy. If it is not better by morning, I am taking her to the doctor, but I am wondering if anyone had any ideas or suggestions about what this could be or how I can help her feel better in the meantime. I gave her a dose of Children's Claritin, but it seems like there must be something else I can do... Thank you everyone for your help!

Today I received a phone call from "CRA". The woman told me I owed Bank of America $2,000 on an old Visa card- one I closed 10 years ago. I told her this was the first time I had heard of any money being owed, and I needed to receive something in writing before paying. She became very aggressive, raising her voice and speaking in a very accusing, angry manner. She told me if I didn't pay it today, she would have to report me to the IRS (which makes absolutely no sense). This sort of went on for a few minutes, and I stated again that I wanted some sort of bill or statement- written proof- she said she was going to have to report me to the IRS today and I said that was fine, but I wouldn't pay until I had something in writing. She then hung up on me.

I realize this is some sort of weird scam, but what I am worried about is how much info she had about me. She had my maiden name, past addresses, current phone number, and last four digits of my SS#. Other than keeping an eye on my credit score and bank statements, what can I do to protect myself? Has anyone had anything like this happen?

Thanks to all who can give me any tips!

I want to build a box for a compost heap. The heap would mostly be for yard clippings. After looking at directions online, I am wondering if all the complicated plans are really necessary. Can't I just make a simple wood box, fill it with the clippings, mix it up and water it every now and then? I don't need fast results or anything fancy- just looking to reduce the amount of yard waste and get some free soil.

Thanks!

We have been planning our family vacation for a long time now on the premise that the school year would start at the normal time. Today I got the calendar for the new school year, and it's starting a week early. I have a kindergartner and a 2nd grader- this is a charter school, so they only go to school two days a week, which means they will only miss two days.

I am very upset about this. People are depending on us (we are visiting family friends), we have hotel reservations, we have been saving up. I would move the vacation up a week, but that is impossible because of a prior commitment that also can not be changed. What would you do? Cancel the vacation or miss the first two days of school? I feel incredibly guilty either way, and if we do miss the first two days, I don't even know how to excuse this.

I really, really hate leather. But I am on a very limited budget and have been searching for a used car for two months now. I have finally found one that seems perfect- low miles, fantastic condition, clean record.... but it has (maybe) leather seats (we actually aren't sure if they are real leather or not).

I would never in a million years buy leather retail, but I am wondering if in this case it matters or not. I keep going back and forth on this- what would you do?

I am in the process of purchasing a used car. I absolutely detest leather and would prefer to not have leather seats if at all possible. I have found a car that suits my needs very well (right on budget, low miles, etc) but the seats appear to be leather. Now, by this I mean that they look like leather, but they do not smell or feel like leather. My husband is convinced they are not the real thing and the car dealer is not certain whether it is real or not. They are not the original upholstery that came with the car and there is no official record.

Does anyone know any tricks about how to tell for sure?

I sort of forgot to send my nephew a birthday gift, so I emailed him a gift card for Amazon.com. Actually, I emailed it to his mother (my sister) because I know she checks her email every day at work and my nephew is 13. Anyway, it's been over a week now and they never said thank you or acknowledged receiving the gift.

Would it be rude to ask if they got it? I'm honestly not looking for a "thank you" (although it would be nice). I'm actually just sort of wondering if it actually went through or not since there's really no way to confirm if they received it.

I am very confused about this. I'm a mom of two, and I think I am pregnant again, but it makes no sense to me.

I had my period from April 8- 12. Due to illness and crazy schedules, my husband and I did not have sex at all the following month. I started lightly bleeding on May 7. For about a week and a half, I had light spotting (varying from brown to bright red). Now I feel pregnant (like I said, I've had two children, so I know how it feels). I am taking a pregnancy test later today, but I can't stop wondering- if I am pregnant, how far along am I? Is it almost 2 months now? Is it common to have a period even when you are pregnant? Or could this be something else?

Oh, I am 32 and in good health. We were using the sponge as birth control, which has worked for me for 4 years now.

I am reading ads for used cars- one is in spanish and I can't understand the last part. I have looked it up in the dictionary and I can't find it.

"Necesita Poca Baratisimo"

I understand the "needs a little"- what is baratisimo?

Thank you!

About 5 years ago, I purchased vegetarian tuna- called tuno- at a health food store. It made really yummy sandwich filling.

I was remembering it and trying to find it. After visiting about 4 local vegetarian-friendly stores, i can't find it. I looked online, too. Is it still available? If so, is it vegan (I can't remember, and I wasn't vegan back then)?

Thanks!

I am a vegan who is interested in the whole raw food diet, but I have a few questions. I understand the obvious benefit of eliminating as many processed foods from your diet as possible and eating a plant based diet. I don't understand, though, why raw veggies are preferable to cooked? What would be the difference if I ate raw veggies verses a stir fry made of those same vegetables? Also, if you are a raw food vegan, does that mean you can't eat things like rice, beans, and pasta since they've been cooked? What about tofu?

Thank you.

I know they have a reality tv show- but who are they? Other than the fact that the girls are beautiful, why are they famous? I know, I know... I have been living under a rock. I'm just sort of sick of hearing about these people and having no idea who they are.

My mother has been taking care of her friend's chihuahua while she is in the hospital. The dog is 8 years old and has never really been socialized at all. My younger brother Andy still lives at home while attending college. Every time the dog sees my brother, she barks and growls like crazy. No one can get her to stop. My mom has tried everything she can think of to get it to stop. Sometimes the dog will even sit outside my brother's room and bark and growl at his door. The really strange part is, the dog will allow my mom to hand her over to my brother, who will then hold and pet her for a while before she wiggles away and starts barking again. He has tried playing with her and giving her treats to show her he's a nice person, but to no avail.

My mom has been watching this dog for about 3 months now, and will likely have her for at least two more. Does anyone have any ideas about how to stop this behavior? It's really driving my mom nuts. Thank you.

My daughter went to the dentist and when her mouth was still numb, she bit the inside of the upper lip pretty hard. There is a large white area where she bit and she is complaining that it hurts pretty badly - can I put oragel or something else on it?

I took my 6 year old daughter to the dentist due to a toothache. After x rays, it was determined she had a cavity. I then took her in today to have it filled. During the appointment, I was with my daughter, but I was mainly preoccupied with keeping my younger daughter busy. Now that we are home, I see that he worked on a tooth that was NOT the one she complained about hurting- it's on the other side of her mouth! Is it at all possible that a dentist could accidentally fill the wrong tooth (even with the use of x rays)? I am very confused.

I was pulled over today for a broken tail light and ended up with a ticket for an expired driver's license (1 month expired- I simply forgot about it). I am going to the dmv tomorrow to renew- can I drive my car again once I've renewed my license or do I have to wait until my court date?

Thanks.