highlander

After a 24 year marriage I have filed for divorce. Still living together with 3 school age kids.

My wife and I have not been intimate for 3 years.

I drank for 19 years and the verbal abuse left her emotionally scared.

I was not a chronic verbal abuser, and almost always provoked by her bounced checks, or her lack of helping me clean the house, and making me practically beg for affection.

In 2008 I started a new job, and with the first paycheck I bought a new ring to replace my old broken one. I did that because i wanted the women at work to know i am married. My wife said its a waste of money because i don't love her.

I got sober in 2009 and have grown in many ways. My wife changed her constant guilt laden arguments with a simple phrase "I hate you". Around 2011 i realized my wife should not be married to someone she hates, and we stopped being intimate.

After years of sleeping in the same bed, sober, and with o touch I couldn't take it anymore. I just turned 50.

So I felt my recovery from alcoholism was in jeopardy as my frustration was leading to anger, and wife is completely indifferent to it all. She never communicates.

I can't l've in the half truths anymore, and need to expose my life to the world, even if I am to blame for all the bad.

I feel my recovery depends on it

Does is vary state to state?

...looking for metaphors to human scenarios.

For example the moth flaps its wings because its nervous system is telling it to fly.

If the moth fly's away, and gets free, the consequences of that freedom are unknown. So there is security in the web?

If the moth stops flapping its wing, to gain strength, the spider approaches. So the moth flaps its wings, and the spider retreats.

Can you think of examples in real life where it is better to flap our wings, to become free. Or when it is best to lay down and act dead.

Technically the sun only rises and sets in geocentric theory. The solar system is a heliocentric system. The earth revolves away from the sun, morning and toward the sun at dusk.

In other words, do atheists pick and choose which science they believe?

'Sunrise' and 'Sunset' imply a geosynchronous solar system.

We met at college where we both abused alcohol. After college she worked till midnight for 8 years in a bar, while i stayed home alone drinking. I continued to abuse alcohol until 2009 raising my kids sober is awesome.

We have not been close since the early 90's

25 years together, and thousands of verbal exchanges, my 48 year old wife is completely detached from me as a husband, yet is very dependent on me as the nanny, chauffeur, handyman, business manager. We have not been intimate since 2011. Wife took 6+ years off to be a stay at home mom. She spent the last 5 years rebuilding her career and finishing her masters while i took over as housewife, dog walker, etc...I manage all the bills and we are a month away from being debt free. Wife is the breadwinner, now and provides the health care. I am incorporated general contractor.

Basically its like a gender reversal, where i am the spouse who needs love and compassion, and she is this stoic indifferent person who lacks intimacy.

After stating my case to her repeatedly over the last decade i have begun the process of filing for divorce.

We have no money, she has retirement, and we have a house with 100k in equity. Other that that we have no means to afford the split. I don't want to uproot the family, yet living without love is killing me.

People support me, and understand my point of view, and she says "go for it this is what you have always wanted". I just feel i am leaving my kids to the bad parent.

Whats the worst that can happen? She takes all the property, the kids, and child support is outrageous?

Wife has accepted the 25 year marriage is over. Not that she acts happy about it, but she is anticipating that I am filing soon.

We have NO money for lawyers, nor do we have time or money for mediation.

3 kids involved, we have (hypothetically) agreed to joint custody.

Can we represent ourselves?

Can the judge decide to not grant the divorce?

Why is it a mistake to file now, and face the consequences later? Thanks

How do I man up after 27 years with my wife, 24 years married, and just accept that she is full of resentment, misery and hate? We have had no intimacy since 2011. I have been the doormat while she rebuilt her career, finished her masters degree. The financial help she needed (including a car) came from my parents. When the kids are sick, or need a ride from school I am the one that takes time off to do that. I do all the grocery shopping and manage the bills. My anger is provoked b her constant negative, guilt laden disposition.

I am far from innocent in this. I drank daily, excessively for the first 19 years of our marriage. When I got sober in 2009, it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I found honesty, patience, goodwill, humility. My wife see's a worthless drunk who is a hypocrite, who has friends that i talk to about the marriage "breaching her trust), and does not want her.

I feel like a moth stuck in a spider web, and cannot financially afford a smooth exit from this marriage.

I have laid the path for a divorce, and am planning on filing soon.

How do I just accept my 90% perfect life, and live with the one missing ingredient, a loving partner, before i throw it all away?

I have a great life, but living in a sexless marriage. Wife says she hates me, and she seems to be dead sexually. i have told several people that i am filing for divorce before June 2014.

I don't have the financial means to move out and its not worth uprooting my kids and selling the house.

Turning 50 next month and everyday i wake up without a friend or a cuddle, when i hear her voice i want to die.

Why is my wanting love, verbally abusive. She runs away every time I try to talk about any relationship stuff. Tells me i have ruined her day.

My rich friends are supporting my plan to divorce, but i don't think they understand scraping by to survive.

As bad as it seems to be without a lover, I am faced with the reality that my life will be 10 times worse if I divorce. I just want to be unmarried, and keep my family life the same. She seems to be ok with that.

I have told wife I am filing for divorce.

Do I file then see if she consents?

How much should be discussed and agreed upon before I file?

25 year marriage, we lost the spark in the early 90's. Three kids 10-17.

We have had no intimacy since 2011, I (husband) took my ring off a year ago, and declared us separated 10 months ago, and then she removed her rings. Then last month I declared I would file for divorce this spring, by june of 2014.

The thing is we still sleep in the same bed, and we are very civil roommates. Basically I need a lover, and she needs to be alone. I will take the blame for that, but thats not the point of this question.

Technically am I seperated, and if I had a date, for lunch, not sex, would it be a lie to say I am going through a divorce (even though I have not yet filed)?

I need to become unmarried to my wife of 25 years. I don't want to abandon the kids, and my wife and i pretty good roommates. She lost her spark for love before the marriage, initiating any kid of kiss, or cuddle has always been a chore for her and age 50 i need to detach from the label of marriage. She has a control freak disposition, and does not think this divorce is necessary, but it is stalling my ability to grow as a person.

She seems indifferent to my dating other people, although i think its a ploy to have some proof that i cheated. I have dozens of friends i have chatted with online at church, through work, etc, but never had a physical relationship outside of marriage nor have i ever paid for porn.

So is there a way to present my case for a divorce to her in a loving and peaceful way, keep our life relatively the same, and just lose the title of married?

I realize the property will have to be split at some time.

Does all this have to be agreed to before i file? its Pennsylvania

I want to file under "alienation of affection".

Basically i need advice on the legal requirements if any.

Its a construction company (general contracting) in Pennsylvania USA I am the only employee (president), I also have 2 older sons who will be treasurer and not sure the other one yet.

My daughter is a self starter, enthused with building and design, and i think she will be very aggressive collecting the bills owed, lol. Thought this would be a cool 10th Bday present.

Will she need to pay unemployment taxes?

If I get divorced and hypothetically lose custody (which i won't) would she still be a business partner, obligated to the company?

For example:...in the Bible

1 Corinthians 15:33

King James Version (KJV)

33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

This simple scripture is used by Christians to teach children to avoid the peer pressure of shooting heroin (among other things).

From what source of wisdom do atheists derive such advice for the youth of our planet?

We all assume matter attracts, and thus "pulls itself together" as a result of gravity. But doesn't it make more sense that space is pushing the matter together?

I need to remove the "squirrel cage"...circulating fan and blower motor.

Then what? do i try lubricating the drive shaft? Do i replace the motor? How do you know its good before putting it back in?

I am a very mechanically inclined contractor, helicopter mechanic and avionics tech. Have never dismantled a furnace.

Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.

Was working fine this year, not it sounds very loud, rattling. Very loud, shaking.

smoking pot? they tenant wakes up sometimes after noon, making it very difficult to get my work done in a timely manner.

switch my account to USA?

I have no problem "being from Malaysia", and I understand its busy work for someone, but is there some technically reason why?