Ja'La Dh Jin [Jenna]

I just woke up from a nightmare so vivid and so real to me that my body was not only moving in sync with myself in the dream, but I could feel everything too. I woke up screaming and crying and it took my boyfriend an hour to calm me down. This doesn't happen very often, and usually when I have nightmares that bother me, they regard my son somehow, usually in a form of losing him. But this one was wrapped in my past.

It is no secret to those who know me that my ex husband was a bastard. He physically abused me for most of our relationship. There was also mild tones of sexual abuse. This nightmare involved the physical, and no one around would stop it. It occured in a public place, and he was paying me back for leaving him, and his slipping on his probation, subsequently landing himself in prison for it.

I usually don't take much stock in my dreams or nightmares. They are just the subconscious mind attempting to work out problems, or address issues the conscious one either can't or won't do. Here is the thing though. I have been divorced since July of 2007. I have come to terms with, dealt with, and accepted what happened to me. I know that it is not my fault. I didn't deserve it, and getting away before he seriously injured or killed me was the best thing I did for myself. I discuss my experience a lot, mostly with people I encounter who are victims, and tell them my story and how I escaped.

I don't understand why now, when I am in the most healthy relationship of my life, and everything about it and life in general are perfectly normal and happy, would this memory resurface so violently. It has shaken me to the core of my being, so much so that I am afraid I will leave my house tomorrow and the event will take place. He is in southeast Texas, and I am in central Arizona. It just isn't possible.

Anyone have any idea why? Or can anyone recommend something I can do so this doesn't happen again, or atleast with diminished severity?

Does anyone realize that, regardless of your religion, you are essentially praying to the same deity, or God, if that title makes you feel better, but under another doctrine He/She just goes by another name?

Look across all religions, from Monotheistic to Polytheistic, and look up the deity at the top of the totem pole. They are all creators, law makers, and judge and jury of their respective belief system.

So why all the infighting between different titles of religion?

I would like to say that nothing surprises me anymore, but unfortunately, this still does.

I know that people of the Christian ilk, regardless of flavor, feel that it is their mission in life to bring people to God, in one way or another. Evangelicals make me physically ill. Forcing your beliefs down the throats of another is not the way to indoctrinate them into your way of thinking. For example:

I was outside of my job one day, minding my own business on a break, when a group of Evangelicals, children and adults alike, moved in front of my store, speaking to three black teenagers/young adults. Now, the store I work at as connected to a mall, so there is a lot of foot traffic going in, out, and bypassing the entrance. At first, the three young men seemed interested in what the Evangelicals had to say. At some point though, they either got bored with it, or decided they didn't want to purchase this flavor of religion today, so they declined further conversation, and attempted to continue on their way to who knows where. The ringleader of this group of religious people pursued them, continuing to blather on. In short order, the young men turned on him, and things escalated into a rather heated argument. Curses were said, body language got big and showy, and it seemed it was going to erupt into a physical altercation. Now, here is my problem with this. There were impressionable young children in the throng of Evangelicals. They ranged from as young as seven to probably as old as fourteen. This is what they were witnessing. They saw this adult, a mentor in how they should speak to others about the "Glory of God", effectively harassing these young men into cowering before his personal religious beliefs. This is not proper. If you want your children to speak to people on their religion, and try to get converts, having them badger and brow beat people into it is not the means to accomplish such a task.

It was disgusting to me that now, these potentially sweet and intelligent kids were going to become verbal terrorists for their religion. I hold it in the same hand as children strapping bombs to their body, and martyring themselves for their God. It is revolting, and such people wanting something should be shot.

I guess the question is this: Why, Christians, in all your teachings about how you should "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and about patience when teaching someone about your God, why would you allow people to go the other route, and propagate violence in the effort to bring someone to God?

I don't know about you guys, but I won't listen to someone about anything if they are going to force it upon me in any sense of the word. If you are going to force me into believing the sky is blue, I am going to fight that much harder that it is green.

You catch more flies with honey, at least, ignorant flies anyhow.

So I was outside on my break at work, having a smoke and trolling Y!Answers, and some guy handed me a pamphlet. I looked at it and noticed it was about toxins within the body. I thought it was some propaganda on hollistic living, until I got to the bottom. It was from the "Church" of Scientology in Phoenix Az. I looked at him, gave it back, and told him that I liked my Theatans. They sing me songs and keep me safe from cults.

Too much? He gave me the most aghast look. Lol. Now, I am Pagan, and I have no beef with other religons. Just cults. No where in the history of religion, has one required monetary donations to be a member of the congregation. In the olden days, you tithed for the well being and upkeep of your place of worship. Now, the verse about not tithing in gentile lands is true for first world countries because the government pays for the upkeep of temples and such. You are allowed to tithe, but it is less required.

The lesson, Scientology is a cult. Not a religion.

The Problem of Evil.

God is supposed to be four things; Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent, and Omni-benevolent.

For those not used to big words, that translates into; All Powerful, All Knowing, Everywhere, and All Loving.

1. If God exists, then God is omnipotent, omniscient, and morally perfect.

2. If God is omnipotent, then God has the power to eliminate all evil.

3. If God is omniscient, then God knows when evil exists.

4. If God is morally perfect, then God has the desire to eliminate all evil.

5. Evil exists.

6. If evil exists and God exists, then either God doesn't have the power to eliminate all evil, or doesn't know when evil exists, or doesn't have the desire to eliminate all evil.

7. Therefore, God doesn't exist.

Now, think about this really, really hard. Do your research before you answer. Don't come at me with the "God works in mysterious ways" or "God gave us all free will" stuff. I want a logical answer to the elephant in the room here. If he is all these things that all denominations of Christianity claim him to be, why did the fall of man occur in the Book of Genesis? Why did the Great Flood happen? Why did Sodom and Gomorrah become the Red Light District of it's day?

Here is some light reading to start you off.

http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/evil/

http://www.problemofevil.org/

http://www.hcssc.net/Omni-God_Challenge.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil#Theol...

For the record, I'm not an Atheist. I'm just curious on how Christians are going to answer this time. Most go on their blind faith, with their followers in tow. Deaf leading the blind and all. I want some real, intelligent answers, if I can land any.

Atheists, Muslims, whomever from whatever faith. Feel free to give your input as well.

On an episode of House Hunters International, there was a home featured somewhere in Spain I believe that was beach front. In the home though, all the furniture was made of some exotic type of wood that was marbled in color. It was a startling contrast of a deep, almost cherry red combined with a much lighter brown tone. I looked it up way back when after seeing the episode, curious about the price of the wood, but I can't remember the name of it. It had to be imported from some tropical climate, and was rather pricey. I just remember it being so beautiful.

So, I took Ohdaviing to Skulfadn, and now I am 10 points away from encumberence due to the two dragons I killed. I also realized that I have no potions, or food on me. I don't have an auto-save or hard save file that I can use to take me back to earlier in the content either. Am I just screwed and have to play Skuldafn/Sovengard out at this point and hope I get some potions and/or find an alchemy table along the way? Any answers are appreciated. So frustrated I want to make a new toon and start over. lol

A friend of mine has a 12 y/o DLH mix, and she seems to be having jaw problems. No outdoor activity and no fights; when she opens her mouth to a certain point, while eating, meowing, or yawning, her jaw seems to lock for a second or two, then she is fine. She is still taking in normal (for her) amounts of food and water. So no immediate health issues. To me, it sounds like a joint or ligament/tendon issue. But I have never heard of such an issue in a cat's jaw. I have TMJ, and that is all I can compare it to. Any ideas?

I work in a very high-stress environment, and if any of you have worked retail during the start of the holiday season, you know exactly what I am talking about. But this goes further back, and deeper than that. My job just magnifies the situation. For as long as I can remember, I have had slight compulsions I have thought nothing of. An obsessive need to buy notebook paper when I go to the store. Collecting pens of any color, Sharpies, etc. Anything related to wolves, I will buy or get my hands on some how. After a very physically and sexually abusive marriage, I started having random violent thoughts. Nothing ever acted out, but they would just come up. Sometimes, I'd get into a situation with a person that would leave me angry, and I would fantasize about how, if I had said something else, or maybe struck out at them physically, that it could have gone another way. And just like a child with an over active imagination, I'd play said scenes out in my head. I'd get more angry, and nervous at the same time.

I've since had a baby, and given him up for adoption due to not being ready to be a mom on the financial side. I felt good, that I had done something right by someone I love, and things were good for a long time. He turned two in September, and a few months prior to that, all of it is back. And worse. I am picking useless fights with my boyfriend, and I want them to go badly. As much violence as I had in my marriage, one would think that I would want to avoid conflict. And part of me does. I don't want to fight with him; I don't want that violent protection instinct to kick in again and hurt the man who has been there for me through hell and high water.

I know I need to see someone professionally about this, but I don't have the money to do so right now. I will be eligible for insurance at my job in November, but I also know that some providers don't cover said doctors and/or treatments. I'm scared about holding out til then, because the insurance won't kick in until January of 2011. And I don't know of any way to get help that has not monetary costs. I haven't spoken with my boyfriend about any of this, or anyone else. I am looking to just get opinions on what to do until I can seek professional help. Or how to get help now. I feel like I am heading for a nervous breakdown as days at work get more and more chaotic.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Just upgraded my Cricket phone to the TXTM8. I wanted it so I could receive picture texts of my son. The lady told me it was perfectly capable of receiving said texts. Well, she lied about that one. The phone refers me to a website that doesn't connect. Any suggestions? I am going back to them tomorrow to verbally display the problem.

I have a 1994 Ford F-150 XLT with the 5.0 engine. Recently, I've replaced the water pump, bypass hose, thermostat, and radiator. But more recently, I had an oil/filter service, transmission flush and filter replacement, and a tire rotation. Since this recent service, my truck has started to make an odd grinding sound, near the engine front where my belts are. The idling arm has started to squeak too. The idling arm thing doesn't concern me so much, because that started after hauling a pull-behind trailer when I moved, but the grinding worries me. My belts look fine, and I can't tell when it is running exactly where the noise stems from, but it seems to be around either my idling arm or alternator. Any ideas/suggestions? I'd like it to be something I can repair myself. Oh, and it only does this when I'm at a stop, either on the brakes at a red light, or when park. While it is running, I don't notice it at all. Then again, the 5.0 sounds like a diesel when the gas pedal is depressed, so I just might not hear it over the engine running harder.

Three days prior to 11/29, I felt like I was wearing a corset. It hurt to breathe in deep, and I couldn't get enough air, so I went to the ER. They diagnosed me with bronchitis and sent me home with a Z-pack and Ativan for my anxiety of not being able to breathe enough, to avoid hyperventilation. Tonight on my drive home from work, I had a sudden, sharp pain behind my left breast, a stabbing sensation. No numbness of my left arm, so no indicators of a heart attack, but my pulse is irregular. Web MD says it is a panic attack, but I have had enough of them to know the difference. Just my bronchitis acting up, or possibly something more?

My boyfriend is a bigger guy; around 260-280. He gets reoccurring skin lesions on the inner, uppermost thigh, where he has the most excess skin and clothing friction. He sweats quite a deal too, being larger, and the fact that we live in the "Concrete Jungle" (Phoenix, AZ).

Anyway, my question is this. He had another large mass on his thigh this morning that was nothing. Just a lump that was painful to the touch. Tonight, when he got home from work, the mass was a bit larger, and at the center had a black head. He thought it was just blood, but out of concern, we sterilized a sewing needle with peroxide and I had him puncture it to get it to drain. Out comes this foul smelling pus, mixed heavily with blood. My ex-husband had boils in the past, and I remember the fluid that came out to be almost black.

This drained for about three hours, then we sterilized the area and covered it with gauze for the night. He is going to the doctor tomorrow for a routine check-up, and I want him to mention it so he can get on some antibiotics to help with the infection, because he refuses to the ER if this gets worse. I'm concerned about possible gangrene or a sudden staph infection. Everything I've researched regarding this on my own has led me to Hidradenitis suppurativa as being the condition, due to his weight and sweating, but I don't know how to make him see that this could be really bad. He does the 'I've had these before and things will be fine' routine. But my ex was laid up for a week after he had his lanced from his knee.

Can anyone give me any other ideas as to what this is? Or is my research spot on?

I cannot remember this woman's name, nor can I find her picture. She is foreign, Swedish I think. She is blond haired with Elijah Wood blue eyes. She is an E-cup. I think her name starts with an 'I'. If anyone knows her name, please tell me. It is driving me mad!

I am having two teeth extracted via oral surgery. Tooth 15 and 16(Last molar and the wisdom tooth). I have had a wisdom tooth removed before, and it was a simple pulling, but the molar is mostly decayed and gone. How is that extraction going to work, and what can I expect for recovery time? Should it be the same as for a simple wisdom tooth extraction? How long should I take off from work?

I was tested for Chlamydia on August 7th. I got the results and was positive about a week later. As a precaution, I was given Doxycycline in a ten day treatment, and since it can come with it's dinner date, Gonorrhea, I was also given Azithromycin, also on a ten day cycle. I have since completed the treatment, and am scheduled for a follow-up to see if they have cleared my system. But the question is this. I know that both diseases can lead to PID if left untreated for a length of time. Problem is, I don't know when, or how I contracted this. I was tested when my son was born, and my partner was tested shortly after I moved in with him, prior to ANY sexual contact with me. I have had no other sexual partners but him in a year, and the same goes for him with me. I have heard rumors that you can catch it from unsanitary bathrooms. I work at Ross, and anyone who has visited their restrooms can attest to their grossness. Presently, I am having new pain symptoms. I have reoccurring ovarian cysts, and have to be on a progesterone-based birth control to stop their formation. I am on the Depo shot, and have been for a year now. I've had the usual break through spotting, but nothing out of the ordinary for me, until now. On the morning of the 29 of August, I had some menstrual bleeding, accompanied with some cramps the night before. I figure, 'It's just cause it is time for my next injection.' This has happened every time. However, it continues til a week after my injection. My appointment is on the 10th. I have hadpersistentt, crippling pelvic pain, with no spotting, and a thick, white discharge. No itching or burning. I am wondering if it is possible that I may have caught the STD again somehow, or if the first round of antibiotics wasn't enough. My biggest concern, PID, or cervicitis. During the first visit, the doctor said I had a small cervical cyst. I am going nuts with worry at this point, and just want some insight to help calm me down, or prepare me prior to the doctor's visit. My partner and I haven't had sex two months prior to the STD, and still haven't had any as we are waiting for mine and his follow-up results. But knowing about the cervical cyst keeps me from wanting to even after the follow-ups come back negative. Help, anyone?

My boyfriend has a white lesion on the head of his penis, near where it contacts the shaft itself. It is round and white, looking almost like an old ringworm lesion. We have tried antibacterial creams and nothing has worked. Both of us are STD free. Now the lesion is spreading, and he has inflamed, hardened veins in the shaft itself, near the base. Any clues? He has an appointment with a dermatologist Monday, but is there another type of doctor we can see? Any help would be great.