momof2

My husband and I are in an argument. Our daughter will be 16 in November. My mother is giving us $4000 to buy her a car. My husband says that our daughter has to come up with $1,000 on her own before she can ever even use the car. I think that amount is way too high but am willing to concede if she can instead make it in payments and use it as her transportation to and from school and work.

He will not budge. He says she has no work ethic and has been given everything her entire life.

He is right. She has been given everything (not necessarily everything she has wanted) but everything she needs.

This is a girl that has never been given allowance. Has always had the cleanest room in the house, always babysat her brother for free, always cleans the living room and kitchen and the kids bathroom when asked. She also does what ever else we tell her to with minimal sighs or disagreement. She has straight A's (one C, two b's) her entire school career. Has always been in enrichment or advanced placement classes. Has only missed school for legitimate illness. Has played organized sports since she was 7. Traveling softball since she was 9. Never missed a practice. Lettered varsity her freshman year with all district and all conference honors in R8 school district. She has done everything asked and expected of her.

Her birthday is in november. She has high school softball with practice or games every day of the week. Practice nights last until 715pm. Games they get home sometimes as late as 11. Plus all of her AP homework. Saturdays are two a day practice. She wants to play d1 ball in college. Her goal is to be a doctor. So even if she doesn't have the honor of playing d1 softball she will still need to be in a good school.

To me her priority is schooling and sports as well as chores. I understand that she needs a job. She needs to learn work ethic. I understand that everything cant be handed to her. I just don't see how she is going to come up with $1000 by november 2nd. Softball will not end until late october.

She really has a lot of pressure on her already. I think it would be better for her to get a job after softball season (who can accommodate those hours anyway).

Am I being unreasonable? He will not budge or compromise at all.

We own a business. Its a liquor store. He took her to work with him the other day. He gave her a task to do and told her to tell him when she was done. She says she did. He said she didn't. So he is mad that he kept having to tell her what to do. She did do each task as asked and when it was asked and in a timely manner. She just wouldn't come to him after each completed task and ask him what to do next. I told him that is a learned behavior and we just have to keep working on that and explain to her why that is important. She has always been the type to do whatever you tell her. She does need to learn to ask what can she do next.

Oh I also forgot to mention that when my mother owned a restaurant my daughter was always there. She waited tables, cleaned, did whatever needed to be done all the time with no pay. She also has done many hours of community service for school of course for free.

I just don't see her as an entitled child.

I am rambling with all this background info.

Ok so to reiterate my question:

Is it unfair and unreasonable for:

1. Her to come up with $1000 by november 2nd to drive a car that has been bought for her by her grandparents.

2. Have her make payments for $1000 towards the car while she uses it for work and school transportation. To be paid in a specified time period.

This morning I awoke, no issues at all. Took a shower. Got out, no problems. As I was bent over with head totally facing the ground and I was putting gel in my hair I heard a loud pop inbetween my right neck/shoulder area. I now have sharp/tight pain in a couple of areas. In between shoulder blade and spine; and where neck meets trapezius muscle. Any advice on relief? I have taken 600mg ibuprofen about an hour ago. No relief from that. Is muscle or skeletal? A little pain goes down my right arm to my elbow. I have to work today. UGH!!!

I am a nurse so I have a cervical collar available. Would that help or make worse?

Bought a drive thru liquor store. You literally drive thru middle of building, u stay in car. We get items for u.

Right now its more of a liquor store but we will be expanding product line to be more all around convenience store.

Any suggestions appreciated.....

So far our thoughts are:

901 liquor (love but want to replace "liquor") needs to be more encompassing.

Gator Done Drive Thru (just because my husband has this alligator logo that he created and he wants to incorporate it some how) we are in SW Missouri.

Please help. Anything that will catch the eye and stay in the mind.

Its a business thats established and has been there 25 years. Amazing solid regulars, want to attract new customers. We are painting building, making improvements and remodeling and adding product line. Thx!!!!!

Bought a drive thru liquor store. You literally drive thru middle of building, u stay in car. We get items for u.

Right now its more of a liquor store but we will be expanding product line to be more all around convenience store.

Any suggestions appreciated.....

So far our thoughts are:

901 liquor (love but want to replace "liquor") needs to be more encompassing.

Gator Done Drive Thru (just because my husband has this alligator logo that he created and he wants to incorporate it some how) we are in SW Missouri.

Please help. Anything that will catch the eye and stay in the mind.

Its a business thats established and has been there 25 years. Amazing solid regulars, want to attract new customers. We are painting building, making improvements and remodeling and adding product line. Thx!!!!!

I really enjoy listening to talk radio. My co-worker, that I share an office with, is a hard core liberal. I don't listen to it because I feel like it would be rude. What is the etiquette on that? Its my radio. I even try to listen to the type of music she likes. She has never said anything one way or another. I am just like that, I always try to please everyone else. Should I just listen to it at a low volume? Would that be okay.

I have taken PCN/Amoxil... many times over my life. I have never had a reaction to it. Well 5 years ago I developed a fear of medications. Now i am prescribed PCN for a gum infection (pericoronitis). I have heard that you can all of the sudden develop an allergy to PCN even if you have taken it a bunch of times without a problem.

What are the stats on that? 1 in a million, 1 in 10?? I have been searching all over and can't find it. Help. I am afraid to take the medicine.

I really seem to be having some serious issues with judgment. I used to think I was pretty non-judgmental. I am so wrong about that.

My daughter is 13 and well there is this 13 year old girl that she knows that annoys the heck out of me. Really- I do not like this girl. How can a grown woman feel such animosity towards a 13 year old girl? I have never liked her, she has always annoyed me.

She is very wild acting, she is a compulsive liar, her parents don't discipline her, she dresses very inappropriately for an adult let alone a 13 year old girl. She moved away over the summer which I felt was a God-send.

Over the summer my daughter was very busy and her best friend started hanging out with this girl. Now she has dumped my daughter for this girl. Well not really- they are always trying to get my daughter to hang out with them. These girls sit on each others laps, rub each others legs, hold hands and are just all over each other. They totally act like they are the only people in the room. This happens in public places. Its such a mess. My daughter says that she just isn't into that. Actually my daughter is not the "huggy, touchy, feely" type anyway so that kind of behavior really just does not appeal to her.

So now my daughters ex-best friend is dressing and acting like this other little girl. She even has this girls come to all her school events. They had volleyball tournaments and she brought this girl. Instead of hanging out with the team, she ignored them all and had the grope fest with this girl the whole time. The whole team and all of the other parents were very upset, uncomfortable and extremely embarrased. That is when my daughter decide to just write the ex-bestfriend off. My daughter is all about sports and team. She felt like this was a betrayal of the team and in fact the girls had stayed up all night and so the one girl played horrible.

Okay so it has become very obvious to me that not only am I a little too involved in my 13 year-olds world but obviously lack some maturity. I should be trying to nurture and help this girl. All I want to do is foster my daughters dislike for her. I am teaching my daughter horrible lessons as a parent.

I feel so conflicted- as a Christian I need to open my heart and home to this girl and give her guidance. Yet I feel like I don't want to play russian roulette with my daughter's future. Lets face it, she is going to have years to screw up and make bad friend choices. As long as I have some influence now I feel like I should use it and maybe teach her some discernment. Yet again- as a Christian am I supposed to teach my daughter how to love and help others or stay away from someone bad? UGH!!!!

My daughter's ex-best friends mom has taken this girl in and drives an hour every weekend to get her. The little girls parents are just a mess and maybe this stable environment is what she needs. I feel so guilty that I can't be more like this mom. Yet- I have seen how her daughter has changed and I pray for that. Her daughter is acting just like the other girl.

What a mess. I need advice on how to just not let this stuff bother me so much.

My daughter has lost her best friend and that breaks my heart but my daughter has moved on and has a whole other group of friends and doesn't seem that bothered by it. So why should I be?

My daughter is 13 and plays volleyball competitively and for school. Her problem is that she is also a softball pitcher and has very strong arms. When she hits her serve- she gets as far back as possible and still ends up serving out of bounds to the back of the court., sometimes hitting the bottom of the opposite wall (which is awesome but only happens about 20% of the time)! It is so frustrating! If she ever figures it out she will kill it. The times she does make it in it is just on the in bounds side of the back line. She has tried going from an angle from lets say left corner to right corner but its still same issue- out of bounds.

Any tips, websites, advice will be helpful! She does not run and jump. This is from a stationary position. Help!!! How do I help her get control of her strength???????????

Last school year she could serve 13 or more in a row no problem. Ever since she started comp ball over the winter this has been a problem.

Name is Tamera pronounced like camera. Any ideas would be great!

I have always has a tendency to enjoy lesbian porn. I am not a lesbian, I am married and I have tried the other in College years ago and it was not for me. My husband does not mind me watching it. I just feel very wrong about it. I am a Christian and just wonder if watching it is going against God.

If my husband is alright with it and it actually enhances our sex life and I am not cheating on him is it morally wrong by biblical God's standards or just by "religious, man made" standards?

So my son goes to VBS with the neighbor boy. Who is adopted from Haiti so although he is 8, is in 1st grade this year. SO my Son who is going in to 4th grade lied about his age- saying he was in 1st grade so he could be in the same VBS class. Obviously not at our church.

I am pretty upset because I wasn't aware they were going to do that. I told him I don't want him lying at church. So should he fess up tomorrow and risk being split up? or not say anything at all? UGH! I feel that he should have to fess up but then he won't be with his friend at a church where he doesn't know anyone.

Is this white lie gonna teach the wrong message?

I know the answer- IMO you don't lie in Church or anywhere else but definitely not Church!

Help!!

Okay I just gotta preface that I was molested as a child so I am VERY paranoid about my kids with adults. It's not that I don't trust people but I just try to not let my guard down. Which I know is unhealthy but if my kids ever told me someone touched them I would take their word and go to the police immediately. No matter who it is- that is why I am asking the question. I am so hypersensitive to the whole issue. And the following totally creeps me out but seems like no big deal to my husbands family....

When the kids go to their grandparent's house, even when my husband and I are there, my son always sleeps with his grandpa. They watch TV together and then go to bed.

So it has always bothered me. My son stayed the week with them this week and he slept with grandpa. Grandma sleeps in the guest room because my son is moves around too much.

So today when he got home from their house I asked where he slept. He told me "with grandpa". I said what do you do in there. He said "watch tv and I rub him and he rubs me" so I followed up with where do you rub each other? He said the "neck and back".

I am seriously going to take him to a counselor to get some insight and make sure nothing is going on. I just can't not take him. I am so freaked out and this does not sound normal to me at all. Of course, I don't know normal.

So- is this normal? UGH!!!! I am freaking out!!

My son has issues with bed-wetting and he is 9 years old. He also has serious anger management issues. So if nothing else the counseling might see if there is a psychology issue there- even if no molestation stuff is going on.

Please answer seriously. Also- can you think of any other follow up questions that I can ask a 9 year old for more insight?

Okay I just gotta preface that I was molested as a child so I am VERY paranoid about my kids with adults. It's not that I don't trust people but I just try to not let my guard down. Which I know is unhealthy but if my kids ever told me someone touched them I would take their word and go to the police immediately. No matter who it is- that is why I am asking the question. I am so hypersensitive to the whole issue. And the following totally creeps me out but seems like no big deal to my husbands family....

When the kids go to their grandparent's house, even when my husband and I are there, my son always sleeps with his grandpa. They watch TV together and then go to bed.

So it has always bothered me. My son stayed the week with them this week and he slept with grandpa. Grandma sleeps in the guest room because my son is moves around too much.

So today when he got home from their house I asked where he slept. He told me "with grandpa". I said what do you do in there. He said "watch tv and I rub him and he rubs me" so I followed up with where do you rub each other? He said the "neck and back".

I am seriously going to take him to a counselor to get some insight and make sure nothing is going on. I just can't not take him. I am so freaked out and this does not sound normal to me at all. Of course, I don't know normal.

So- is this normal? UGH!!!! I am freaking out!!

My son has issues with bed-wetting and he is 9 years old. He also has serious anger management issues. So if nothing else the counseling might see if there is a psychology issue there- even if no molestation stuff is going on.

Please answer seriously. Also- can you think of any other follow up questions that I can ask a 9 year old for more insight?

Okay- back history first:

I developed general anxiety in 2005. Fear of going crazy, hypochondriasis. Got that under control. In fact rarely even need an ativan. Then some life changes happened- I went to nursing school after being a stay at home mom for 5 years- graduated in December 2009. Husband lost job in July of 2009. So I got a full time job in August of 2009. November of 2009 after quitting my zyrtec medicine for seasonal allergies- I started obsessing about "what if's" again. What if now that I am not on zyrtec I have food allergies? What if I have an anaphylactic reaction to food. So starting on thanksgiving day 2009 fear eating food due to possible anaphylactic reaction. All food. EVERYTHING. I started out slowly just eating bread. Then added ramen noodle soup and oatmeal. Anyway I had lost about 15 pounds by the end of May. I gave up all sweets, all sugar, all snacks. Now my diet has increased some. I have now lost 20+ pounds. I eat oatmeal for breakfast every morning or pancakes. For lunch I eat either beef and cheese quesadilla's, ham and cheese sandwich, or loaded baked potato. For dinner I can eat chicken or beef items. I just ate spaghetti red and garlic toast. So I have had major life changes in the last year- new full time job and weird food phobia. I understand the weight loss. Now I know that I gave up sweets and all sugar and all milk, eggs, shellfish, peanut butter... BUT I am still eating! I am eating 3 full meals a day. I have not weighed myself but people keep telling me I look like I am getting smaller. I was wearing a size 10/12 in August of 2009 and now it is July of 2010 and I am a size 4/6. So with my anxiety here I sit wondering if I have some underlying medical condition that keeps me losing weight. I do not work out. There is no reason I should be losing more weight. Surely just cutting out snack foods, sugar, sweets can't make you lose 20 pounds- or can it? I do have a goiter BUT my thyroid levels were normal last year. UGH!!! Any words of wisdom? Should I consult a doctor or is the weight loss related to my weird food phobia? I am seeing a psychologist about the food thing by the way.

Okay- back history first:

I developed general anxiety in 2005. Fear of going crazy, hypochondriasis. Got that under control. In fact rarely even need an ativan. Then some life changes happened- I went to nursing school after being a stay at home mom for 5 years- graduated in December 2009. Husband lost job in July of 2009. So I got a full time job in August of 2009. November of 2009 after quitting my zyrtec medicine for seasonal allergies- I started obsessing about "what if's" again. What if now that I am not on zyrtec I have food allergies? What if I have an anaphylactic reaction to food. So starting on thanksgiving day 2009 fear eating food due to possible anaphylactic reaction. All food. EVERYTHING. I started out slowly just eating bread. Then added ramen noodle soup and oatmeal. Anyway I had lost about 15 pounds by the end of May. I gave up all sweets, all sugar, all snacks. Now my diet has increased some. I have now lost 20+ pounds. I eat oatmeal for breakfast every morning or pancakes. For lunch I eat either beef and cheese quesadilla's, ham and cheese sandwich, or loaded baked potato. For dinner I can eat chicken or beef items. I just ate spaghetti red and garlic toast. So I have had major life changes in the last year- new full time job and weird food phobia. I understand the weight loss. Now I know that I gave up sweets and all sugar and all milk, eggs, shellfish, peanut butter... BUT I am still eating! I am eating 3 full meals a day. I have not weighed myself but people keep telling me I look like I am getting smaller. I was wearing a size 10/12 in August of 2009 and now it is July of 2010 and I am a size 4/6. So with my anxiety here I sit wondering if I have some underlying medical condition that keeps me losing weight. I do not work out. There is no reason I should be losing more weight. Surely just cutting out snack foods, sugar, sweets can't make you lose 20 pounds- or can it? I do have a goiter BUT my thyroid levels were normal last year. UGH!!! Any words of wisdom? Should I consult a doctor or is the weight loss related to my weird food phobia? I am seeing a psychologist about the food thing by the way.

I was in the shower last night, had just finished rinsing the shampoo out of my hair when I noticed a spider against the edge of the shower. I have a pretty small shower. Anyway- I got it out of the shower and noticed that it was a brown recluse. I inspected my feet a dozen times and had my husband inspect them a dozen times. (literally- because I have generalized anxiety issues). I did not feel a bite and they are no bite/fang marks at all on my feet. Or anywhere else. No pain anywhere. It has been 14 hours since I saw that the brown recluse and I were in the same shower. UGH!!! There is no red area, no blisters, no pain- nothing. Just wondering if I am 100% safe to say that I was in fact NOT bitten by the spider. I am just a little anxious.

I am in a quandary. My husband is always saying I just want to be respected. I know what the New Testament says - that we must "respect our husbands". Do we do that even if they aren't deserving? He drinks all the time, doesn't have a job, is a complete meany verbally. He is not physically abusive in any way but has a very bad temper.

I also have a hard time with some of his parenting techniques. I just really feel that if it weren't for God and the kids I wouldn't even be with him anymore. I made a commitment and and oath and vow to God and I don't intend to break it. So will it make my marriage better if I just pretend to respect him just to shut him up. Is that really right because that isn't true respect and God knows my heart and that its all a lie. UGH!!!

I have been praying for years to respect him. I just don't have any respect for him at all. That's my demon not his.

So are we supposed to genuinely respect someone that we just have no respect for? How does that happen? Is it just an act of humble service to God? Advice please!!!