Teresa

My daughter is 4months old. I want to get her ears pierced before she gets active enough to pull at the earrings. I'm between getting it done by the pediatrician or at a jewelery store. I've heard that the Dr. doesn't alwyas get them straight or even like a jeweler would, but I feel like the Dr's office would be cleaner. What did you do for your baby?

We adopted a newborn girl through a private agency in January. The baby's Mother did not want to meet us or have a post-placement contact agreement (open adoption). She is young, and we felt like maybe she would change her mind as she gets older/ moves out of her parent's house. Through the social worker, we offered to send pictures to the adoption agency for them to hold in case she decides later that she wants them. The agency also has permission to give her our names, email, and cell phone numbers if she asks. As far as I know, she hasn't made contact since signing the relinquishment.

I'm getting ready to send the first envelope of pictures and I wanted opinions of how many and what kind of pictures to send. We've done pictures every month with the onesie stickers that say 1mo, 2mo, etc- so I'm definitely sending those, and Easter Pics. Do you think they should be pictures of just her or of us as a family? How often should I send them?

I have to admit that I'm a little naive about what qualifies a homosexual couple to adopt, but I know that committed same sex couples are able to adopt together just like heterosexual married couples. However, heterosexual couples who are not married are not permitted to adopt together, but rather one would adopt as a single parent. Now that gay marriage is legal in some states, do homosexual couples have to be married to adopt? Do you think they should have to be legally married to adopt if they live in a state where that is allowed?

I took my dogs to the groomer yesterday. When I picked them up, the person who actually groomed them wasn't there, but had left a message with another person that she had found flea dirt on my dogs skin, but no fleas or eggs. We have NEVER had fleas in the 6yrs we've had animals, and I am so grossed out.

As soon as we got home, I did a frontline treatment on them and the cat. Then I vacuumed the whole house, threw all our throw pillows and blankets in the dryer, and changed my bed sheets. (The dogs go on all the furniture and sleep with me). I read that rubbing alcohol repels fleas, so I sprayed it along all my baseboards and under the furniture.

I bought a flea powder for the furniture and carpets that I put down today and I put some in our vacuum so they can't hide in there. This stuff is harsh though, it smells and stung my eyes. I had to vacuum it up while my family was out because it wasn't going to work with the kids in the house. I also bought a flea spray for the yard, but it says not to use when it rains. It's supposed to rain until Wednesday here, so I don't know when we'll be able to use it.

I haven't seen a single flea, and my animals were not itchy at all before going to the groomer yesterday. They are itching now and I do see flea dirt on them around their genitals and inner thighs. I'm itching now too, although that may be psychosomatic. Is it possible they got bitten at the groomers, but didn't bring fleas home?

I read that treating the animals could cause fleas in your home to start biting humans. I have children and I'm very nervous they will get bitten. Has anyone had experience with your animal having fleas? Did the humans in your house get bitten? Did you have to get rid of the carpets/furniture?

Are my dogs getting re-infested every time they go in the yard? Should I do the yard treatment or wait for all the rain to stop?

Is there anything else I need to be doing? I can't stand the idea of biting bugs in my home with my children!!

These names are becoming really popular and every time I see them they are spelled differently. What is your favorite way to spell them and what other ways have you seen them written?

I know many people on this site take issue with the term "birthmom" and prefer that the Mother who gives birth to the child not be labeled as anything except Mom. I agree with that, I think that the role a bioMom has in her child's life stretches beyond just giving birth.

However, I don't see anyone taking a stand over the terms "adoptee" or "foster child" when those labels do the same thing to the child- focus on the separation of the family of origin and not the person. They are just kids! They don't just exist as part of their adoption or foster care system. Their value and worth in both families stretches beyond one moment in time. I personally make an effort never to label children according to their placement, but if I have to specify I think it is better to say child who was adopted or kid in care. They are kids first, and if we are fighting so hard for respect to be given to bio parents, shouldn't the kids get the same treatment?

Do you think adoptee/ foster child is as offensive as birthmom?

My 4yr old son has always been very active. Recently, though, all of his play has been very rough. Cars crashing, running with heavy feet, dolls and figurines smashing together and pushing each other off the furniture. He's not aggressive with people or our animals and is very well behaved. You put a toy in his hand, though, and he will pound it, smack it, or crash it. Surprisingly, he hasn't broken many toys, but has scuffed the trim in our living room from toys flying into the walls.

I this just being a boy, or should I require him to tone it down a bit?

My son recently started refusing all wheat breads. I've backed off on sandwiches because of this, but when he wants PB&J, should I try potato bread or just do white?

I'm asking for a general opinion, but the circumstance that made me ask was this: I sent home a baby that we had fostered from birth 9 days ago. Mom allowed me to take him for the night last night because I wanted to visit and she had court (to close the original CPS case) this morning and needed a sitter. She told me what time to bring baby back, so she was expecting me when I brought him home this afternoon. She didn't answer the door right away when I knocked. When she did, I saw boyfriend spraying lysol all around and the house clearly smelled like marijuana. There were children in the house that to my knowledge have never been in foster care. I told Mom that I was uncomfortable leaving the baby with her and that I needed to call CPS. She said they don't use drugs and that it was "unfair" because she just got him back, but never even tried to explain the smell. CPS said they would send an investigator, but drug use without evidence that the children are in imminent danger is not reason enough to remove children. They instructed me to leave the baby with her even though I was certain she was high. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this stance on illegal drug use.

We got a call today to foster a 4yr old boy who has 2nd and 3rd degree burns over his entire body. He has a trach and a long road to recovery, but we are up for it. He is being released from the hospital next week and will come home with a nurse 16hrs/day. My concern is about having a stranger in the house every waking hour. Do we feed her and offer beverages and baked goods like she's company? Act like we're friends? Keep it all business? Can I leave her with him while I shower or cook dinner, or should she only be expected to change his dressings and monitor his breathing? Any one willing to share their experience with an in-home nurse would be greatly appreciated.

I used this website to get the school district code for filing my NYS taxes. When I tried to file on Turbo Tax, they said it was invalid because the code was longer than 3 numbers. Where can I find a 3 digit school district code?

http://www.orps.state.ny.us/sdiv/schooldistcodes.h...

I understand the reasons foster/ adoptive parents have race preferences or limits on which special needs they can parent. If the parent is ill-equipped to handle transracial placement or medical/developmental disabilities, the child would suffer.

What reasons would a parent give for a gender preference though? It's not like a parent who hopes for a boy wouldn't have the skill set to parent a girl. Natural parents usually have a hope for one gender over another when they are pregnant, but they don't get to pass on the first born because of gender. Why gender be considered in adoption? I always wanted boys, but we take all genders/races.

I feel like I missed a memo recently. There have been a couple questions that have referred to biomoms as bioabandoners or just abanoners. When I was reading the question I thought "OMG, this asker is going to have their bottom handed to them for that term" -but the term was ignored. I thought the general consensus here was that biomoms are victims, no? People get lynched here for using birthmother, but bioabandoner is acceptable? My head is spinning, I need an explanation...

So, reading some of the Q&A here about surrogacy recently, I've realized I don't exactly know what it entails. I don't have ny personal experience with surrogacy, so I guess I never needed to know.

I thought surrogacy was used for couples who could conceive a child, but couldn't carry to term. Their embryo (or an adopted embryo) is implanted in the surrogate through IVF.Then surrogate mother carries the child who is not biologically linked to her for a fee.

There is a question posted about a surrogate that was inseminated with the sperm from the husband that hired her. She ended up fighting to keep the baby, which she should, since it's hers.

My question is how often does this kind of surrogacy happen, where the baby is genetically the surrogates? And why is that not considered adoption since she is surrendering her own child?

My 2yr old son made friends with our 4yr old neighbor-boy. They are cute buddies, but he has picked up one bad habit. He now responds to every direction with "Huh?". When his 4yr old pal is over and says it, I always say "I'm sorry, that's not an answer" and he corrects himself. However, that doesn't work with my son. He just gives me another "huh?". It's driving me batty! What can I do to make him stop?

My girlfriends daughter is turning 5, and all she wants for her birthday is makeup. When anyone asks her, that is the only answer she'll give. Her mother has told us that we will be defriended if we buy her makeup. Her mom is getting her some chapstick and nail polish, but the rest of us are dumbfounded about what to get her. She's not a super girly-girl, but she likes doing grown up things. Any ideas for less messy, but equally cool gifts for her?

My son is almost 8mo and is teething. He has been having diarrhea 3-4times/day for the past 4days. He has been acting completely fine otherwise- No fever, no irritability, sleeping, eating, wet diapers. The Dr said its probably the teething, and to keep him hydrated and coated in rash cream (because he had some bumps/redness). Are there any foods that will help end this? Or foods we should avoid? I would love any suggestions, because the diapers are leaking and his bottom seems so irritated. I want him back to normal asap.

My 7mo old is taking albuterol in a nebulizer machine every 4 hrs for bronchiolitis. He gets very nervous, and has been crying through the treatments. The pediatrician said the crying helps because it means he'll take good, deep breaths- but it breaks my heart!! Can I give him his binkie while he does his treatments? It's an old school machine that we're using, with the mask over his face instead of the wand held up to his nose.

I was just reading some resolved ?'s and I saw a lot of anti-adoption retorts like, "Why don't we all give our children away" or "AP's should put their biochildren in 'better' homes" And I thought that was ridiculous, as I'm sure everyone does. So that got me thinking, Is anyone really pro-adoption? I don't think that women should be coerced or guilted into surrendering. I think every woman who wishes to safely raise her child should do just that. I'm pro-life, but I think that my pro-adoption views relate to the pro-choicers in that, is any one really pro-abortion? They don't think that everyone should get an abortion, they don't think that women should be coerced into them. They just want a woman to be able to legally make the choice about her body (and her baby, in my worldview) without social stigma or legal penalty. That's how I think about adoption. It's not for everyone. It's not for the majority, but its a choice I believe a woman should have the right to make without social stigma or legal penalty. So it's not really about adoption, its about choice.What are your thoughts?

I had a great ambigram drawn where if you read it, it says my last name, but if you flip it upside down, it says my maiden name. I LOVE it because it's like, "don't be fooled- single me is still here"

But where can it be placed where people could read it rightside-up, and upside-down