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Okay, so I spent like a year and a half foster care. Not many people know. I'm not ashamed of it, just try and get on with my life and like act like a normal person, act as though I have a "normal" life.. although, I don't.

I have had counselling for a long time and I have a support network, plus friends and stuff. So I'm not completely alone. I wouldn't say I hate living here I am just disappointed in my family and I still harbor feelings of resentment and anger towards them... I just look at them and feel angry sometimes.

Both of my parents are currently unemployed so I've been trying really hard to get a job because they literally have no money and can just about afford food.

I live with my Mother and Father and older brother, who is eighteen. They all smoke, heavily. I do not. I hate smoking, I think it's so filthy and vile and I can't even stay in the same room as them because I don't want to be exposed to second hand smoke and I feel it's selfish of them to impose it on me.

I just come home every night after college and I barely speak to anyone and I just go and do my own thing in my room. I don't want it to be that way but my parents have nothing to say to me and I have nothing to say to them.

I don't even feel like I need them? Or just that I do, but I've learned to live without them. If I have an issue I go to professionals at college before them. I do make small talk with my mum at times but this might sound harsh, but she's so uninteresting and boring? She's also quite ignorant. My foster carer was very opinionated and although we'd sometimes disagree I did like having a good intelligent discussion with her about stuff. My Dad isn't unintelligent but he just gets angry if you disagree with him and he can be patronizing so I don't tend to talk to him.

Luckily I'm barely here at the weekend and I try and be away as much as I can because when I am here I just get bored out of my mind. We never do anything "as a family" and we'll quite often just end up arguing.

Whilst I was in care I was diagnosed with attachment issues because I had no significant attachment when I was small... I suppose I don't and I like to think I don't actually need my parents (when really I do). It's just sad I guess. Sad that they'll never change, sad that when they die I'll just look back, wishing it could have been different or that they were just different people. They're not bad people, just not the right people for me I suppose. I anticipate moving far away from them, and although I'm not broody, I literally feel the only way I can redeem myself is by raising my own children in a completely different way.

Can anybody relate to the way I feel?

Do you have sex on the second date, third? Maybe you wait months before having sex? Please let me know, as I'm concerned that the boy will lose interest as soon as I give it to him, but also I don't want him to think I DON'T want sex because obviously I do, just not right away..

I am not generalizing Rastafarians as Homophobes; My brother says that Rastafarianism is the cause of the lynching of Gay people in Jamaica. I have looked into Rastafarian beliefs and could find nothing about the murdering of gays and nowhere have I ever seen a Rastafarian preaching "Lynch the gays" or anything similar.. I don't understand him; he thinks that all Rastafarians are preaching a message like that, even through their music, despite me trying to explain that there would be Rastafarians who killed Gays and there would be many who were not like that! There's good and bad people within religions, right? It all depends on your own interpretation of what's written in a book or preached to you in a church... I don't understand him, he just dismisses all religion as wrong, but if you want to have faith in something (but not kill, condemn or affect others) then why is religion so terrible? Surely you're entitled to your own beliefs and interpretations of a religion, and moreover, not ALL Rastafarians hate Gays, just like not all the Muslims want to kill white people? There are individuals within religions, but that doesn't make all religion wrong, or the whole religion wrong? Just the individual or minorities?

Okay. I understand people are going to be like "OMG How dare you, you're so ignorant, you don't know anything" etc etc, but I live with a woman who keeps six snakes, two bearded dragons and a breeding pair of agamas. I just don't see the point in them to be honest. I mean she claims she loves them and that they're pets, but to me they just look miserable and they don't even like her. She seems to think that keeping a reptile is the same as keeping a cat/dog/horse but I fail to see the relation.

I have a dog. I love my dog and in my opinion the feeling is mutual. I can see this because my dog actually listens to me, greets me when I'm home, remembers me, intentionally seeks affection from me and generally enjoys my company. I also ride horses. Depending on the horse you ride, horses are generally friendly and if you are a good rider that has respect for your animal, you both share mutual respect. Whatever you might think about the fairness of riding a horse, the horse still has a purpose. To me, reptiles have no use. They just get stared at all day and/or touched, even if they don't want to be touched. I'm not a cat fan but I can still see that a cat would provide happiness to somebody, in similar ways that a dog can. However, those snakes she keeps don't remember her, they don't particularly like being touched because they just move away from her and some of them bite her if she comes near them. She is just their food source. (And she keeps rats in the freezer with her food. Euugh.) This is their relationship - she leaves them in a tank all day and feeds them. Wow. That's a mutual bond.

As for the bearded dragon, right now he is a scratching like hell at the glass. I don't know why because I don't know much about reptiles but he doesn't seem happy. There is a female in a vivarium beneath his. She is so overweight she just lays on her log. They just look miserable to me. What's the point in keeping them, honestly?

The Agamas are the same. They scurry away if you come near the glass. The male spends his time digging at the corners of the vivarium.

I've also seen some pathetic people posting pictures of their huge carpet pythons on facebook - the aforementioned woman says those people overfeed the snakes to make them so big. Why?! WHY would you do that? Moreover, why would you WANT a snake of that size in your home.

I just, really really want to know what joy anybody has in keeping these creatures? In my opinion, if I wanted to admire them, I'd go to their native country and see them in the wild; I wouldn't confine them to an artificial environment in my living room just so I could coo over them as though they are puppies or kittens. Because they're not, let's face it.

I am in foster care and I live with a woman who works pretty much full time at her son's shop. Her son has just had a child with his partner and is now seemingly off full time.. because she's always there now, working every day from 9am-5pm. I may seem selfish but consider this. She gets paid to look after me, including special allowances that should be spent on me ..but I she's never really around either at weekends or in the week. I used to go horse riding twice a week, on a Sunday and a Wednesday. She isn't able to take me anymore. It isn't just that though it's that she barely speaks to me and she doesn't even bother texting me. I just feel totally ignored and disregarded by her.She also sends me to go and stay with other foster carers/my parents quite frequently because she's "away" or "busy" (that's all I get told.) I understand that people have other commitments when it comes to family but what does every other parent do when they have a full time Shop and they have a newborn child? Surely not everyone has somebody to do everything for them, unpaid, despite the fact she has ME to look after? I am her income, so surely it's unfair that she's literally abandoning me like this..?

I haven't said anything to her so please don't call me selfish, I'm completely aware that her son is probably looking after his girlfriend and their child...

I do have my Mum and Dad but it's not exactly easy being there so suddenly and so much, because I was having contact one day each week, and she's suddenly making me go for 3-5 days at a time. It's especially disruptive because I have loads of exams coming up, I'm in my final year at school.

The social workers said moving me home would be disruptive to my education so they're waiting til after my exams but I feel like I might as well not be here anyway! My foster carer has completely lost interest in me and in the heat of an argument she exclaimed that she couldn't wait til I'm gone.

I would like to buy an android phone and had my heart set on the One X. I glanced at the One V which is around half the price of the One X. What are the main differences? My main concern is the 3 megapixel difference in the cameras, but what are the other obvious differences?

I found my old nintendo DS along with an incomplete pokemon soulsilver. I decided to turn it on and see how far I am, and kind of decided to complete the game, seeing as I'm on the eighth gym badge.

This is my team..

-- Level 38 Typhlosion

--Level 32 Slowpoke

--Level 38 Hypno

--Level 41 Togetic

--Level 25 Haunter

--Level 29 HootHoot

The Haunter is a pokemon I'm working on and the HootHoot replaced my other flying pokemon .. I will admit the HootHoot is crap and to be quite honest my least favourite of the team.. I'm hoping it'll get better..

I have more levelled pokemon (obviously) but I am just not happy with this group of pokemon, and don't feel I'm ready to take on the gymleader. I am unsure as to what I should do now. I have two pokemon in the daycare center ( A Teddiursa and a Flaaffy) which I'm hoping I can add to my team when they evolve ..They are Levels 25 & 20 at the moment :)

Just out of curiosity, I went into the gym, (Blackthorn city) and defeated all the trainers before the gym leader, but I just wasn't confident enough to take on the gym leader. Like I said, I have more pokemon that are levelled 30+ on the PC .What should I do? What do you think of my team? Should I try and capture a legendary pokemon before trying out Blackthorn City Gym? ..Should I change my team then take on the gymleader? PLEASE need some advice! Thanks:) Btw, feel free to suggest good pokemon I could add to my team :)

My mum got me this shirt > http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/tops/brown-anim...

I haven't worn it because I'm not sure how to. Would you wear it with all the buttons done up ? and what could I wear over it as I don't want my arms showing .. Thanks

I need any information on any artists that focus on the maternal bond between mother and child, specifically the attachment between a mother and her child. I have struggled to find any artists who work around this subject. if anyone could give me any names or suggest anything, that would be very helpful. My portfolio is going to be all about the necessity of that maternal bond in a child's life, so I am also interested in Child abuse, neglect, attachment and attachment disorder. Please, if you have any suggestions I'd be grateful to hear them!

I rememeber reading a children's picture book, from what I remember there was a Bull terrier (dog) and a little girl. I think there may have been some jealousy between the child and dog, and I think at some point the dog stole the little girl's blanket (or the other way around) and the dog slept in the girl's crib, and then the little girl realised the dog was having puppies. I only remember it because of the beautiful watercolour illustrations of the bull terrier, and the clumsy puppies at the end of the story. It's an English storybook, may have been Walker, If anyone is familiar with it, I'd appreciate the name or some help !

I want to read/watch the series, and it's been suggested that I first read the books.

What is the first book called?

And also, I know there are like three different storylines, but is the television series just Season 1, Season 2, etc, or are there different series for each storyline?

A simple explanation would be greatly appreciated, I was captivated by what I saw of the Daenerys and Drogo storyline and would love to discover more :) Thanks!

Do you think if you left letters outside a church claiming they were sent from Jesus, the vicar and his friends would believe that they were sent from Jesus? I was thinking of doing this just to see how gullible christians are.

I was watching a performance on television involving different countries from the Middle East performing for the British Queen.. I stated it was ironic after the British Empire had colonized India and the Middle East, but the person whom I was watching it with said that modern Indians "who actually live in India" are thankful of Britain's Empires, and that the infrastructure in India was all thanks to Britain, that their Postal system is thanks to Britain, etc... I studied the whole Mughal empire and the British empires, the colonization of India and I found this comment quite ignorant. Although the British may have been interpreted as helpful, introducing schools, sending over missionaries to preach Christianity, opening tradings and the East India company, I still thought that they weren't exactly 'welcome' and that they did corrupt culture and religion in India? I also thought they treated Indians badly if they didn't do as they were told? I apologize for my ignorance to the subject if in fact that wasn't the case.. Please give me all your suggestions, I'd like to know more about this subject.

I took a few pictures on a canon E05 600D and I didnt know whether the pictures were saved because it was saying 'no card in camera' and when I went to 'erase images' it said no card in camera, so I assumed they werent saved?

Hello, is there a legal document that states the official rights of a child in care?

I am in B&NES care.

My laptop is a compaq presario and it is just soooo slow when I'm on youtube. The videos constantly buffer, and then sometimes they just don't work. Is there software I need for youtube to work? This is f*cking annoying me so much!

I'm in a six week placement about 10/12 miles from where I used to live with my parents. At home I would get a bus at 7.20am that took me halfway to school. I would then walk a mile up a very steep (and I mean steep) hill to get to school. I'd then walk down the hill and the bus took hour and a half to get me home. Anyway Im three weeks into this placement and I am not happy but I'm behaving -although its difficult - because I need to look good to the social workers. But anyway she was driving me to and from school, which is a lot for her to do I know, and I was glad of it. (even though that's her job? to look after me??) But she decided she would take me all the way in the morning but then she'd wait halfway afterschool so I'd have to walk down the hill and get picked up at the bottom. I didn't mind that at all because she'd said she would still take me in the morning. (It's better walking down a hill than up it, right) Anyway she made a comment that if I was at home I would be "bussin' it anyway" (getting the bus) and I said "I only had to get the bus because my Mum didn't care about it". But she misinterpreted this as me saying "My Mum didn't take me to school and that means she doesn't love me." That's not what I fxcking said. She then started going on at me about every other kid walking to school, but it's different. I DID walk up that hill for a year and a half, and it wasn't just about "not taking me to school" and it had NOTHING to do with LOVE. It's that my Mum didn't care about me in the way that if something happened to me, she never gave me credit to call/text her, and she wouldn't text me if I was an hour late or something. It's that she only worked 2 days a week yet she couldn't pick me up, I'd walk in and she'd be sat on her butt doing nothing, half the time she was asleep. If something happened to me (and terrible things DID, which my carer has READ on a report, but clearly doesnt understand the traumatic impact of them!!) on the way to school/on the way back, my Mum wouldn't even notice. So maybe she did care, but it FEELS like no one does when they don't text/call if you're a late (I'd get in at 5pm most days, bus takes an hour+a half) or bat an eyelid when I walked in, or pick me up in the pouring rain.. you know? So anyway all this is irrelevant to my carer because I accepted it, I don't mind walking DOWN. but she totally over-reacted and now has decided she is going to make me walk UP as well as down... is this right? She claims she can. but I feel like it's not fair.. I hate being here and I know there's only three weeks left but a review meeting is being held tomorrow to decide my future.. and I have to look like I'm behaving here because otherwise they'll think there's no difference made, between here and home? I don't know what to do. Shall I just do as she's asked? I hate my life, and I'm losing faith in everything.. [Sorry for the length thanks for reading,[

I am going into care, and I was talking to a social worker/child professional, and she suggested I may have 'attachment disorder'. I wasn't sure about this before, I've looked at wikipedia and things. I guess it would explain a few things, if I did have attachment disorder. I was just wondering if anyone has it? Can you tell me about how you suffer from it/how it affects you or how you got it?....

I haven't been truly 'happy' in my 'home' for as long as I can remember. Resentment (for my mother mainly) has been building up for about 3/4 years now. I can't see that things are going to improve. I just don't like her. Everything she does irritates me and I personally don't feel that she's "done her best for me" as she's always saying she has, and I've heard from outsiders that they don't think she has either. I do swear at her a lot, during arguments. She blames the problems on me becaase "I'm so abusive" but she doesn't seem to think in depth, about WHY I might be swearing at her...

Anyway. On the 28th of January at about 1/2am, my brother came home drunk. He had been beaten up by someone, he had some scratches on his hips and a small cut on his face. He seemed to be furious that they'd beaten him up. He was talking about getting revenge, repeating himself. He went crazy and started slamming doors, falling on the floor crying etc. He goes out drinking /doing drugs pretty much every weekend, even though he was no job. He's 16, in sixth form. He's not doing that well though, all he cares about is getting drunk. He sells all his old belongings in hope of getting money to go out. He told my Mum he'd left his phone somewhere, so her and my Dad left me alone with him to go and find it. He started going crazy, going on about how he was going to get revenge. I clutched my dog, rang my mum. I was quite angry, because I didn't want to be left here alone! I told her to hurry home, and then as I hang up, I muttered stupid cow, because I was angry at her for leaving me here. Then, my brother, who'd obviously heard the remark, stood up anh started shouting in my face, telling me Im tearing apart this family, everything's my fault, I have no respect for her, etc. He was literally shouting loudly, intimidatingly in my face. He was spitting on me, I was trying to push him away, but he only got louder. His hands started to fling out and one of his fists punched me in the head. It hurt and I felt dizzy for a second, but I suddenly stood and we got into this huge grapple. He turned psychotic, for some reason accusing me of "murdering his mother" I just remember being ABSOLUTELY covered in blood, running out of the house (in my pyjamas) screaming, as the car pulled into the drive. I called the dog to follow, and we ran off up the road. I ran around the estates nearby, screaming for help. It wasn't untill an old man and lady answered to try and help me that my Mum found me. I was totally shaked up, terrified of going back to the house. Anyway, the police arrested my brother and they photographed me yesterday. I have a cut above my bruised eyebrow and a puffy black eye, and my cheek is swollen up. My brother isn't allowed home for a few days. My Mum is so concerned about seeing him. This annoys me. I don't expect her to exile him, but all she was doing yesterday was talking to people on the phone, asking about my brother. She shuts the door, thinking I can't hear. I kept having crying fits yesterday, and shivering loads. I can feel my heartrate is really high and hasn't gone down. I got asked if I wanted to press charges yesterday, but I said no.. simply because, he's family? (Supposedly.) And it would be frowned upon, although I would like to see him punished for it. Yesterday, I didn't want to stay here. I wanted to go in care. I know social services are getting involved, and I was thinking, I will tell them I don't want to stay here, they can save me, they can help me get away. But I'm not sure. I'm just so worried about what others will think. Especially my older brothers/sister that live away from home. I've just given up. When my brother comes home, I know everything will just be the way it was, (expect I certainly won't be talking to any of them). When it first happened, they were saying about what a failure they are, and how this family's splitting up, my brother has problems too. I thought thats what I wanted. But now they're just concerned about getting him back home; and they seem to be defending/justifying what he did. And it really makes me angry. I'm sick of living here and getting the blame for everything. They don't realise I only swear for a reason.I just want to get away, I want to go into care! I know you people answering don't know what it's like, you're only going by what I say, but I need advice :/

Ok, Im 14 and I am volunteering to work at a stables in exchange for rides/help with riding. This man has called and asked if I was lookign to help out at a stables, and he seemed friendly, he told me where the stables was and asked my age. He then said he would call back. this was about ten minutes ago. Typically my mum is aprehensive about it as he asked my age and moreover, because he was a MAN and therefore she automatically thinks it is dangerous. Of course I will not go to the yard alone,my mum will come with me but I was thinking IF he does call back, I should ask some detailed equine-related questions, as if he had his own yard/horses he should know the answers. Are there any questions you think would be wise to ask, other than the location/times available/what I would need to do ETC..