Turd Ferguson

Is there an addon or community that can link me to web cam chat with other World of Warcraft players?

Vince has been gone for quite a while! When is he going to return? He's just too entertaining!

First, let me say that I am in a financially superior position to them all.

They hang out at my house, the litter their stuff on the coffee table, they eat all my snacks and drink all my drinks... and they NEVER reciprocate because they conveniently live with their parents.

Am I being taken advantage of? If I'm not, how can I know in the future if I am?

I need a payne of plastic so that I can vent my air conditioner (i'm planning to dril into the plastic the holes for the ventilation tube and screws to hold the tube in place). I really don't want to block the whole window with something I can't see through.

Baby wants some milk!

So many pastors have recently told me, "Invest in God's kingdom, and you'll be rewarded x-fold." Sounds interesting; but before I make the investment, I'd like to know what God's credit rating is. I'd also like to review his financials. He can't be doing very well; all his earthly representatives have been living large on his dime for quite a while now.

Also, does he have a securities license? I think he needs that.

So many pastors have recently told me, "Invest in God's kingdom, and you'll be rewarded x-fold." Sounds interesting; but before I make the investment, I'd like to know what God's credit rating is. I'd also like to review his financials. He can't be doing very well; all his earthly representatives have been living large on his dime for quite a while now.

Also, does he have a securities license? I think he needs that.

An ex-real estate manager filed a 2007 1099-Misc with the IRS to report my income from them. Unfortunately, they got my SSN wrong; and my accountant has had to delay filing my 2007 taxes because of it.

Long story short: How do I force my ex-manager to correct his erroneous 1099-Misc? Do they have to do it within a certain time frame? I need to get them motivated to fix their problem!!

Facts:

- Went on a date with a girl two weeks ago; we both say we had a great time.

- Went on a date with the same girl last Sunday; we both say we had a great time.

- Had a good text message conversation on Monday.

- Had a good IM conversation with her Wednesday afternoon.

- Called her Wednesday evening; no answer; I left a message.

- Texted her a “Hello” on Thursday; no answer.

To date, I have not heard from her. I’m planning to call her this afternoon sometime (today is Saturday); and if she doesn’t respond, I think I’m going to stop trying to contact her. I don’t want to look needy, you know.

Is this a good last move? Please advise.

I need to text message a relatively short joke to a girl I like. I'm looking for something a bit naughty and flirty (and hilarious, of course) but that isn't crude and over-the-top.

By the way, I LOVE over-the-top jokes; but please...I'm begging you...I'm looking for something sendable that won't offend!

Who am I kidding? Give me the over-the-top jokes, too. :-D

BTW, please don't link me to external web sites. I'm so over Jokes.com. Just give me the funny joke, please!!!!

...or is this an angle? If it is real, do you have any info on what really happened?

Yes, she's one of the worst singers in the entire competition. I know this. But please consider the following:

1. She's good looking.

2. One doesn't need to be a good singer to be an American Idol (example: Britney Spears in the late 90s).

3. It is quite hilarious to see Simon dig into her each week.

4. Her video segments are kind-of funny.

5. Wouldn't it be fun to see her crash and burn in the top four and have America ask, "How did she even make it this far"?

With these points being the case, why not vote for her?

In the real of females, is she or is she not a man-beast? The boxy face, the nappy and odd-colored hair, the disgusting freckles... When does it end??

AND

Even if she is the best singer in the universe (hypothetically), could a man-beast that ugly really become an American idol?

Did you watch "American Idol" last night? If so, then--good God in heaven--it is clear she was on SOMETHING!

What was it?

P.S. My guess is alcohol and Xanax. She was loopy-ier than usual.

I would like to place on my web site a box that includes the top seven news stories of the day. How can I do this?

I understand he is taking questions. How do I ask him? Which web site do I visit? Does he have an email address?

I would like to ask him, "What is your address?"

Last Friday, I met a girl at a club, we hung out the whole night; and at the end of the night, she gave me her full name, phone number, email address, and MySpace info. She also made me promise to call her.

The following Monday, I added her as a MySpace friend; and she added me the same day. I also tried calling her at 7pm, but her phone just rang.

On Tuesday, I sent her a MySpace message, and she replied by saying it was nice to meet me, that we "will" get together soon, and that we will talk later. When I called her later that evening (8pm), her phone just rang.

On Wednesday, no call attempts or messages.

On Thursday (today), I sent her a message asking for when is the best time to call her, and I joked that getting ahold of her seems to be next to impossible. No response from her yet, and no calls from me.

She has my contact info. Should I even bother calling her again, wait for her to contact me, or anything else?

I would like to listen to the different flavors of electronic music (trance, techno, drum and bass, etc) so that I can tell them apart. Do you know of any sites that will let me do this?