aanstalokaniskiodov_nikolai

I have read that people in some ancient nomadic tribes cleaned their dishes by licking them off. I think that it will save on the electricity bill as well because the dishwasher will not run as much.

Which items are destroyed easily, and which ones will destroy the washing machine? I ask because the other day, I left a strawberry creme saver in my pocket, and I ate it still; it did not taste like soap, and I am still okay...mostly. Before that I ruined my cell phone by leaving it in the laundry as well.

Last summer, I even dropped my sandwich in the washing machine, and I rescued it, but after lengthy contemplation, I decided not to eat it. I frequently leave Kleenex in my pockets, but that only ruins the laundry temporarily with little white froofroos. What have you done to your washing machine, and what happened? Have you had anything besides wool or clothes shrink after the wash?

To make the fly traps, I tore old newspaper into strips and dipped them into honey because I don't really like honey (except in certain cookies that I can only try to make...I usually burn them). I hung these strips in my kitchen near a light in the hopes that I would trap the one fly that is always bothering me, but I'm the one that's often caught in the traps. It seems that I am perpetually washing my hair to get honey out now.

I know that it is only one fly, but that can turn into more quite quickly. Why don't my fly traps work? Any other suggestions are appreciated.

One of my friends will be married soon, and I have been invited to the ceremony. No one else thinks that it will be a good marriage. The groom has cheated so many times already and could not admit that he was engaged until the wedding was less than 20 days away...

Don't tell me that it's not my choice, that it's not my place to say something, etc. because I know that already. All I'm looking for is a way to postpone it so that perhaps it will be cancelled after being postponed several times more.

Oh, what if I offer to cook the cake, and "accidentally" burn it? Oh, I would burn it anyway with the way I cook...

I am attempting to learn Danish on my own, but the books I have read so far do not actually tell me so much about the cases and how they work in the Danish language.

If it's not too much trouble, could you also please list and explain how the cases work? Examples too perhaps?

If you like or need to, you could refer to German cases to aid in the examples as I know German already because I have noticed the similarities between German and Danish already.

Any other information would also be helpful as I only have learned the very basics of Danish so far...

Thank you!

I don't mind helping my neighbors out at all, but I am worried because this puppy takes a piss on everything...the floors, the steps, me...everything! I feel bad about saying that I cannot do this, but I also don't think it would be a good idea especially because I have to go to work during the days and the puppy would often be home alone in an unfamiliar flat. It's only for just a bit over a week, but it still may be a bad idea.

Last year, I had to babysit the neighbor boy's Furbies too. They were the exact same way with pissing all over everything...the floors, the steps, me...everything! I ended up blindfolding one and dropping it off somewhere and cooking the other one. I told the boy that his Furbies were kidnapped...

I don't need a repeat of last summer! Eh, it would be worse instead because last summer it was just the Furbies. This summer it is the Furbies plus a puppy, but it's hard to say 'no' when someone asks for help...

I see it on television all of the time, and it's always followed by a gourmet-type dinner. Any recipes would be appreciated as well!

See, I've been told to practice my yodeling at 6 a.m. in the neighbor's front yard; so, my 6-8 a.m. time slot is filled if I factor in the amount of time spent explaining my yodeling habits to the police officers.

However, I do idolize Vitas, and I would like to know where to practice screeching as he does--in particular, the kind of screeching he does in his "Opera No. 2."

Well, none of my friends are boring anyways, but I can make some and then invite them over...

...of my visit to Spain so as to use being drunk an excuse for my poor Spanish skills?

Will this technique disguise my stupidity regarding Spanish well enough to "fool" the locals?

They're wool...

See, if even the initial conditions of particles and such in my brain (yes, I have one--surprise!) can't be observed, apparently the way they act has already been determined which means that the way that I will act in the future has been determined because of how they have already behaved so far.

If that's the case, could I use determinism as an excuse for things such as sleeping instead of working? They can't blame one for something that has already been determined, eh? I can't help it if this particle in my brain moved this way or that way in the past...

I'm sure that with the way I cook, I do have something radioactive in there too...

For Easter, one of my friends made a plate of cookies with Easter candies. I put the cookies on one of my plates this morning, and washed her plate.

I had planned to return it later this week then, but as I carried it to the counter near the door so that I would not forget to bring it along, I sort of slipped (nice, soft socks on my kitchen tile equals accident). I did not fall because I grabbed the table and tablecloth which caused a vase with the Ukrainian-style eggs my mum decorated for me a few years before to fall off of the table. The awful stench surprised me or caused me to pass out or something, and I dropped the plate after everything...it's shattered!

How should I apologize to my friend? I don't think that I could cook her something too because I am not good at it (unless she likes burnt cookies or unusual Russian food), but I could find her a good plate or have mum mail me a better Russian one for my friend...

In the past, I have set up rabbit snares, but I have never caught him. Last year I even dug a hole and covered it with brush on the neighbor's front lawn so that the bunny could fall into it when he hopped on it.

I suppose I make them quite well now, but cooking for her in addition to myself so often does get old quite quickly...especially when she sometimes raids my food supply without asking...

And don't tell me to lock my door around the time that she usually shows up. I usually do, but there's always somehow that she weasels her way into my apartment...

In all of this excitement with broken dishes, bloody noses, and police officers showing up, what are the chances that the waiter or waitress would forget that you still haven't paid for your dinner?

Or would they let you get away with it since it's quite likely that you can't get your wallet or card out while wearing handcuffs anyways?

I was reading a book in my living room and listening to music; so, I did not hear the neighbor girl walk in and check out what was in my refrigerator.

She found my stash of leftover chicken with the adjika I put on it. Either because of my cooking or because she was not accustomed to this dish, she began to vomit all over my kitchen sink and screaming for me to come in there to "help."

I told her that I hope she feels better and that I am sorry that my food made her ill, and then I diplomatically told her to go away and leave my food alone next time. Now I feel bad for saying it, but should I? She snuck in there and took my food though, and I had to microwave Jell-O snack packs for dinner that night instead of having my nice chicken with adjika.

(And don't tell me to lock my door; I usually do for this very reason, but I forgot this time...)

It seems like dumpster diving is strenuous enough to keep them in shape when not actively training.