erikamichellepayne

He's not a picky person, but I want to get him something out or the ordinary. Please help.

Calling It a Day

God: "Whew, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth."

Angel: "Oh yeah? What are you going to do now?"

God: "I think I'll call it a day."

WHILE STATIONED at the Navy Supply Corps School in Athens, Ga., I sponsored a visiting Chinese naval officer. Having dinner together at a restaurant, we each offered to pay the check. As a compromise, I told him we could "split the bill." He couldn't comprehend that phrase so I drew a circle on the table with my fingers and divided it in the middle, saying, "I pay one half and you pay one half." "Oh, I see," replied my Chinese friend. "In China we call that 'going Dutch.'"

Is this funny or what?

And it came to pass that an angel came up to three newly-dead men and said - "You are all to be allocated a method for transportation around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly."

The angel looked at the first guy, Dave, and said- "You, Dave, were a bad man in life. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat-up Dodge."

The angel next looked at the second guy, Jon, and said- "You were not as sinful, but you still cheated on your wife twice. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon."

The angel finally looked at our hero, Sam, and said- "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife. For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."

A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's Ferrari. There he is, sitting on the bonnet, his head in his hands, crying.

"What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You're set forever! Why so down?"

Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth, and said, "I just saw my wife go by on a skateboard."

I got my tubes tied a little over 3 years ago and I have gotten pregnant twice in the last six months.

I was talking to a lady today who is trying to adopt and she was telling me all the things she and ser husband have to go thru. I mean they have to get statements form their doctors,their jobs,etc.

I do.

Mine are Ebony and Jet.