zaazzy

hola cómo estás haciendo? donde es su tío con el arma?

I was employed in Sept.07 in the Finance Dept. In Jan 08 my boss decided to move me to start the Customer Service dept. He said to me I have raised the bar in the company - this is my first job in a new country ( 80% of the staff are from India and 20% are local nationals). When I started here my salary was pathetic, I negotiated and got a better salary with a letter saying it will be review in March. Most of them have got increases but I was told by HR I do not qualify cos I only started in September yet MD gave me a letter to say my salary would be reviewed in March. I need help to write the MD a letter to remind him of the review. Any help or ideas would be most welcome. Is the letter a good way or is there a better way to approach him. Thought I would also attach the copy of his letter to mine. Please help - Thank YOu.

Which vehicle is value for money between Toyota, Honda and Volkswagen and why? I want to buy a new car and cannot decide?

The company wants to develop a customer service dept. They want it situated at the back of the company on the 2nd floor. I feel it should be in the showroom where it is easily accessible to customers. Why have a CS Dept if it is hidden away from Customers?Your comments and View will be appreciated.

What should short and long term goals for customer service in the automotive industry be?

I need to design a A5 flyer for the company I work for. A Car dealer - ( Depts - New, Used, Fleet Maintenance, Parts, Service, Showrooms, Different Branches, etc.) On one side of the flyer will have the service information regarding work that has been carried out etc. I would like to have some ideas as to what we can put on the other side regarding the above depts. I thought of a mini questionnaire on how to improve our service. Maybe someone out there can give me ideason what to put on the other side or what questions to put on the questionnaire. All suggestions will be appreciated.

I have started work for a reputable car dealer and we have a customer survey questionaire. One of the questions is "How would you rate the service in comparision with that of your IDEAL service centre? I am not to happy with the word IDEAL - I can always say my ideal service station would be lunch/breakfast, free parts, no service fees etc. or maybe a hunk or two to entertain me. How can we rephrase this question? Any ideas/suggestions would be welcome. This is for the motor cars service department.

I need to know how a musical instrument is constructed, the playing method and sound production.

Thank You

I last worked for company xxx in 2000 and then did a one year contract job from September 2002 - September 2003 with the same company. I left this company to stay home with the kids however while they were at school I used my hobbie to supplement my income. I gave Cake Decorating and Costume Jewellery Classes in the mornings. I also approached the local schools in my area to do typing for them. I typed reports and certificates etc. I am now ready to go back to a full time job and is in the process of updating my resume. Do I list my stay at home jobs first or the last company I worked for? Where on my resume should I list my "Stay at Home" Job!!! Any advice is most welcomed. Thank You.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a

horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a

coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from

vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress!

Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused.

"Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it", she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding!"

Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on TV. The Evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their TV set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the TV, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV and placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his penis. Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it, do you??!! The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, NOT to raise the dead!!!"

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel! : You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

Ask your mother.

2) How do you embarrass an archeologist?

Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.

3) What's the difference between a b*tch and a wh*re?

A wh*re sleeps with everybody at the party;

A b*tch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist?

No one to call during orgasm.

8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ***?

A mechanic.

9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

A man met a woman and fell madly in love with her. He asked her to marry him right away. Her response was: "But we don't know each other at all, what if we don't get on?" The man said that was a chance he was prepared to take and he felt that he loved her so much straight away that he was sure it would work and they could get to know each other during their marriage. So the woman agreed, they married and went away on honeymoon where they found they were very compatible. They were lazing by the poolside one day when the husband said he fancied a swim and his wife watched him as he climbed up to the very highest diving board and leapt off backwards. He did a triple spin, a forward turn and a double back-flip (piked) before entering the water with barely a ripple. The wife was amazed. When the husband came back to her she said: "Blimey! I didn't know you could swim like that!"

I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told hubby that I would be home by midnight, "I promise." Well, the hours passed & the margaritas went down way to easy. Around 3a.m. a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the cuckoo clock in the hall started up & cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing hubby would wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed.....3 cuckoos + 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = midnight.) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in & I told him "midnight." He didn't seem upset at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh ****", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

A guy phones up his boss, but get’s the wife instead. “I’m afraid he died last week .” she explains.

The next day the guy calls again and asks for the boss. “I told you,” the wife replies, “he died last week!”

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to the boss.

By this time the wife is getting upset and shout: “I’ve already told you twice, my husband, your boss, died last week!

Why do you keep calling?”

“Because,” he replied, “I just love hearing it…!”

A black guy and a white man were sitting in the park.

The white man had a pet monkey and a black guy was selling bananas. So the black guy said "Mr. can u look after my bananas I am going to the toilet".

"Oh yes go ahead" said the white guy.

When the black guy came back there were no more bananas and he goes mad,"where are my bananas?"

The white guy says "ask your brother", pointing at his monkey. The black guy just chilled. Then the white guy said few seconds later, 'can u look after your brother I am going to the toilet.

The black guy says, OK.

When the white guy came back the monkey was dead and he went mad Asking "what happened to my monkey?" The black dude says "Mr. don't get Involved it's a family matter!!!"

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.