Brandy

I met a guy online, we've hung out a few times. We’ve slept together and both times I spent the night at his place. We talked a lot and did things. We would text all day. Then his texts slowed down a bit, so I fell back too. I didn’t ignore him, but I only talked to him when he initiated the conversation. After three days he sent me a text saying “I miss you, been thinking about you, I haven’t really heard from you”. So I was honest and said I was giving him space and didn’t want to come off as clingy. He said he didn’t need space, I wasn’t being clingy and he couldn’t wait to see me again. Then the next day, nothing. I texted him a few times, and got no response. I felt wretched! I couldn’t believe it. The first time I dare to date after splitting with my husband, and this happens. Then today I get a text saying “I had some family issues come up that got the best of me. I just needed to be alone. But you can come get your charger later (I left it at his house), and I’d like to see you before I leave, if not I’ll leave it in the mailbox”. Wow. Really? I actually don’t even need to ask this damn question anymore. Just typing it out I know what the answer is: regardless of what’s happening with him, he could have sent a simple text saying “Hey, I’ll text you later, lots going on”. Or something. Not just ignore me for more than 24 hours. Because even “if” what he said is true, that means this won’t be the last time he disappears on me. Yeah, I think I’m done.

I need the perspective of married couples (men especially) where the wife makes more money than the husband.

Short story: My husband and I used to work at the same place - which is how we met. I left that place last year to take a position where I now make twice my previous income, and considerably more - now - than my husband. When I first told him of my salary he was at first astonished then quiet and I knew there'd be ill-feelings. I tried to make light of it saying all the things we'd be able to do now, little jobs to the house, purchases we wanted to make, etc.

Here we are a year later and money seems to be somewhat of an issue. I try NEVER to make note that I bring in more income because he's already said once (during an argument) that "you don't need me anyway". I know men need to be needed and I sincerely try not to make an issue of the money, I have tried to set up our budget so it's looked at as OUR money, not mine. But I'm not perfect. We had an argument last weekend about money and for the first time I said something about how he has a problem with how much I make but he doesn't seem to have a problem spending it! I know I shouldn't have said it but I was angry. I apologized but the damage is done.

So from experience (especially the guys) how can I keep this from becoming MORE of an issue? What suggestions would give me to help him see that I don't care about the money and who makes what, as long as we have a nice life?

I should say that he is not a bum whose living off me, he makes a decent salary himself and he works all the over-time he can get. Also, when I was in-between jobs, his income alone kept us going, so he's not a bum, loser or user.

Can anyone suggest a decent Atlantic City hotel with reasonable rates? My husband and I have never been to AC ( well he has, I have not) and we are going up there Memorial Day weekend to see a show.I'm perfectly willing to pay the higher rates, but it just seems that the reviews I've read (on TravelAdvisor.com) don't speak well of any of the hotels really. Some speak of very outdated rooms, poor furnishings and lighting, even bed bugs! (which obviously I won't tolerate).

The hotel doesn't have to be on the boardwalk as we'll have our car, but it does have to be clean, updated and bug free! I guess we'd be willing to pay up to $260 a night.

Thanks!

Can anyone suggest a decent Atlantic City hotel with reasonable rates? My husband and I have never been to AC ( well he has, I have not) and we are going up there Memorial Day weekend to see a show.I'm perfectly willing to pay the higher rates, but it just seems that the reviews I've read (on TravelAdvisor.com) don't speak well of any of the hotels really. Some speak of very outdated rooms, poor furnishings and lighting, even bed bugs! (which obviously I won't tolerate).

The hotel doesn't have to be on the boardwalk as we'll have our car, but it does have to be clean, updated and bug free! I guess we'd be willing to pay up to $260 a night.

Thanks!

Tell me what you make of this email sequence: (Keep in mind there were other emails leading up this this scenario, but they were "housekeeping" emails between a husband and wife) then the wife says:

11:20 am - Wife to Husband: Your neglected your husbandry duties (lol)

11:24 am - Husband to Wife: Ok, I got you

11:26 am - Wife to Husband: Ok!!!

11:38 am - Husband to Wife: You keep falling asleep

11:40 am - Wife to Husband: You were rubbing on me one minute, and SNORING the next! lol We both fell asleep

11:40 am - Husband to Wife: LMAO, ok

11:58 am - Husband to Wife: Yo sleepy you alright?

11:59 am - Wife to Husband: WTF? Who are you talking to?

12:01 pm - Husband to Wife: Youuuuuuu

Then other emails go back and forth. Keep in mind the subject title for the 11:58 "Yo sleepy you alright" email is now different - there is no subject title at all, indicating a new email. While the other previous emails had a subject title indicating an on-going string of emails.

What's your take?

Seriously, I used to love coming here, giving helpful advice - especially in Marriage & Divorce. But now it seems to be flooded with obviously fake questions. Most of them are from non-Americans, written by persons to whom English is a second language. You can tell by the way they are worded and how they run-on. Some are terribly fake and obvious by their titles (how do I sell my wife and get to keep my daughter) or (my wife wants to love her ex but not divorce me). Then when you see one that "may" be real, you open it and it's the same run-on garbled non-sense. Yahoo needs to find some way to filter this mess or they will lose serious people who are seriously in need of help and/or those offering helpful advice.

I just read a question I posted five years ago, about wondering if my then-fiancé was cheating with his ex. It's funny, I've never found out if that was true, but I believe they were talking about getting back together - but then she died!

What is also interesting is reading the comments people gave me then, only now to see how right-on most of them were.

Okay, I know this is more of a mental reflection and not a question, but isn't it funny how hind-sight is 20/20? I'd love to hear from others who have done this, dismissed advice from others only to see now that they should have listened!

I'm just curious to see if anyone else's husband is driving them nuts! I'm like seriously, I love you but STOP CALLING ME! So then what does he do? He EMAILS me. When is "enough too much".

I don't mean to sound harsh, because I'd complain if he didn't call or email me at all, but I just need us to find a middle ground and he's not listening to me!

The thing is, my job is decidedly more hectic than his, though we both have office jobs, his duties are mostly repetitious and he's usually done for the day around 11 am! While my job is unpredictable and at the whim of a "mad-man" (my boss has OCD really badly, so every situation is a fire-drill to him). So how can I get my husband to understand this without hurting his feelings?

My soon-to-be husband and I are looking to have our honeymoon at the Poconos Resort (in PA) and wonder which would be the best for winter? The Cove Haven, Pocono Palace and Paradise stream all seem to gear more towards summertime/outdoor activities. We don't ski or snowboard, but I know there is SOMETHING there for us to do.

Has anyone been during the winter months and can give advice? Thanks!!!

So okay, this is more of a testimonial than a question:

I researched some of the questions and answers given in the past on Diamond Nexus labs and I don't feel they were given a good rep. I purchased a DNL ring in 2007 when I first got married. My then-husband was skeptical, but when the ring arrived it was absolutely breath-taking! It was a 2.07ct round-brilliant tiffany-set Solitaire! I love that ring, and I still have it. I got so many compliments and NO ONE ever suspected it wasn't a mined diamond and I never told a soul. At that time we paid $345 for it. Today, their jewelry has gotten a bit more expensive, in fact that same ring now sells for double that price. So I called them (and the only thing that seems to be fair on here is the estimation of DNL's customer service, it is excellent) and they told me the reason their jewelry has gone is is due to the price of gold. Make sense. One of the things I love about DNL is the gold is REAL, it's not gold overlay on silver. I've seen other comments on here suggesting going to places like betterthandiamond and Mossinite. I looked at their pieces and not only are they more expensive, some are hazy or cloudy looking, or they are set in gawdy, fake looking metals like gold or platinum overlay on silver. The problem with that is once the overlay wears off, the silver does what silver does, it tarnishes and after so many polishes, it turns black! I'd rather have a lab-created or even a high quality CZ set in real gold than that overlay mess. I'm engaged again and we just purchased the Endless Days emerald-cut, with the two side stones from DNL http://www.diamondnexus.com/endless-days.html.

I LOVE this ring, and since I know the quality of DNL's jewels I'm completely comfortable with the purchase. I haven't gotten it on my finger yet (I think for Christmas!) but I know I won't hear the end of oohs and ahhs from friends and co-workers. I can't wait. So yes, I'm a DNL fan until they do something to disappoint me. And with a LIFETIME warranty, I don't see how they could disappoint.

I know that it's generally bad karma to break up with someone right before Christmas. The insinuation is that you didn't want to have to buy that person a gift. Also there's the depression that already hangs over-head for those who don't have family, lost a loved one or ... well has gotten broken up with right before the holiday season. It sucks - haven't been through it but I can't imagine the pain that would cause. Not wanting to inflict pain on the guy I'm seeing (and seriously not wanting to really be alone myself) I know that it's not working and I need to end it. But I'm wondering what your thoughts are on ending it AFTER Christmas and New Years. I don't want him to think I waited until he got me a gift - because it's so not the case. I should have ended it months ago, but thought it would get better and then he told me he's in love with me - which only made me feel worse. I love him, but I'm not "in love" with him. There are reasons, none of which I'll go into now, but please just tell me your thoughts. Breaking up with someone is NEVER easy, but if I can make it as painless as possible, I will.

P.S. Please forgive this Singles & Dating type question being asked in Marriage & Divorce but I wanted an adult, educated answer.

I know that it's generally bad karma to break up with someone right before Christmas. The insinuation is that you didn't want to have to buy that person a gift. Also there's the depression that already hangs over-head for those who don't have family, lost a loved one or ... well has gotten broken up with right before the holiday season. It sucks - haven't been through it but I can't imagine the pain that would cause. Not wanting to inflict pain on the guy I'm seeing (and seriously not wanting to really be alone myself) I know that it's not working and I need to end it. But I'm wondering what your thoughts are on ending it AFTER Christmas and New Years. I don't want him to think I waited until he got me a gift - because it's so not the case. I should have ended it months ago, but thought it would get better and then he told me he's in love with me - which only made me feel worse. I love him, but I'm not "in love" with him. There are reasons, none of which I'll go into now, but please just tell me your thoughts. Breaking up with someone is NEVER easy, but if I can make it as painless as possible, I will.

Okay, I am the one who usually answers these types of questions from others...but you know what they say, we don't always see so clearly when it comes to our own situations. So here goes..

There's this guy, when I met him he wasn't married, but he is now. He works for the same company but in a completely different location and I met him at an all-staff meeting once. It was an all-day thing, we sat next to each other, talked hit it off, etc. He emailed me a few times, back and forth, just friends. Well this past New Years I go to a house party with my best friend and her cousin (who I'm friendly with) introduces me to her new husband - it's him! No big deal, we go "oh hey how are you", we don't pretend to be strangers and well tell everyone how we know each other. So we're all having a good time and the conversations turns to dating; to make it short he tells me he wants to introduce me to his single friend... So I give him my phone number (for his friend). Well about a month later he calls to ask how the date went with his friend. I told him it was not a love connection and I wasn't interested in going out with him again. So he began to periodically call or text me, no big deal. Once I had an office emergency, I was out of an item and his office does similar work so I called him and asked if he had what I needed, he got it for me and said I "owed him big time" so I said one day I would take him to lunch. So one day he emails me to cash in on his lunch and we have a nice time. Again, no big deal. So today he calls me and says he's off work and do I want to meet for lunch. I had just eaten but told him if he wanted, I'd meet him the park and we could talk. We decided to walk a bit and I'm thinking "where is this going". So I ask him about his wife and my friend and ask if the meeting is a secret. He says it's not necessarily a secret but he really doesn't want me to tell my friend because he doesn't want an issue where there is none, stating "we aren't doing anything wrong". But then as we are walking back to our cars (I'm barefoot cause I had on heels and took them off) I step on a rock - he takes my hand to help steady me... but doesn't let it go! We continue to walk, holding hands, until I come to my senses and let his hand go. Oh boy. I like him as a friend (and not going to lie, I'm attracted to him). So my question is, am I making a big deal of things and should I tell him we can't be friends, or was is this innocent and really not a big deal? I tend to over analyze so I need some help here.

I have a 96 Pontiac Bonneville SE and I permanently locked the radio and it now reads INOP (inoperable). I "thought" I remembered the code but didn't so after three or four tries, it locked up on me for good. Does anyone have a manual or know how to reset the code or otherwise help me unlock the radio. Thank you in advance.

Would you have a problem with your boyfriend going to school (for Accounting) instead of getting a job? He's 31, a veteran from the Gulf War, and Uncle Sam gives him $1600 a month from the GI Bill for going to school. He recently moved from PA to Virgina and currently stays with his brother. When we talked about his future, he wants to own his own company and says he planned to go to school and work. So far, no work. The first thing he did when he got there was enroll in school, I was a little puzzled until I found out that the GI Bill will pay him as long as he's in school. That got me to thinking "I hope he's not a bum, willing to live off the government (even though he's earned it)". I just hope he doesn't feel like "why work". Not saying he's lazy, he's not. But I would prefer him to WORK. $1600 is NOT a lot of money in terms of paying mortgage, car note, bills etc. I guess working to me says "I can take care of myself and if we marry, WE can take care of us". Am I being selfish? I do want him to finish his degree and own his business, but I just wish he'd get a job too. What do others think? (Yes, I have a job, this isn't about him taking care of me, it's about my being secure that he can take care of himself first, and provide for a family if it comes to that).

I met my new boyfriend online, but not on a dating site, we met through a mutual friend and started communicating online first. He lives in VA, I in PA, about 6 hour drive. Since we started dating we've been taking turns visiting each other. We spend every night on the phone, and email throughout the day. So far it's been okay, but we are both wanting more. It's only been 3 months, but if you've ever been in a LDR you know that a month on the phone is equal to 3 months in person because you talk more and spend time getting to know one another. The point is, we want to be together. He's willing to move up here, but I'm not ready to have him live with me. I seriously don't know that I can do a year or more long distance. So I want to stave off his moving here as long as possible, without either of us moving on to other people. I just don't know what to do. I hate long distance relationships and have no ideal in hell how I ended up in one. But here I am. Any advice on making it work?

When does it air in Southwestern PA? I can't seem to find it and I LOVE that show.

I've been dating this guy for the past 5 months. He's sweet and kind to me and funny. But we don't have that much in common and more and more I find I'm getting bored with him. We are starting to bicker and he's frustrated because he doesn't know what he's doing wrong. I know it's my fault because deep down (well not that deep) I know I want to and should break up with him. But the thing is, we work together - albeit for the same company not in the same office - but I would see him pretty frequently. I broke the age old rule of not *hitting where you eat! Now I feel like I'm stuck. I've only broken up with someone a few times (usually it just peters out) and I was kind of hoping not to have to do the actual act this time because those few times I did it did not turn out good. I think he'll be devastated and will sulk around but I can't stay with him just so he won't be unhappy. I mean he's a good guy, he's just not for me. Also, I'm starting to feel really attracted to other guys - this one in particular - and the "Cheat" word has crossed my mind. Any serious suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I mean, good men are hard to find right? I don't want to make a big mistake by ending this so soon. Ugh.

My bf has exhibited some strange things that, alone I would say are "iffy" but put together they may mean trouble. I have caught him in a lie concerning a girl he wanted to date before he met me. They never dated but he lied to me about a note she left on his car. 1st warning - if there was nothing there, why the lie? Then he was supposedly out with his friends drinking at a bar, when get came home he didn't smell of alcohol or smoke, but he smelled GOOD like baby oil and lotion like he had freshly showered. Finally I know he talked to a woman on the phone and exchanged texts with her, when I asked him he lied and then said he talked to her "a week or so ago, she called to say happy bday). Well his text showed she sent him a "Good morning D" and his reply was "Hey baby, what's up" but that was it. No more texts. But he did talk to her on the phone later that day for 6 mins. And we work together, he gets off at 4 and I at 4:30, he stopped in my office and asked if I was...

My bf has exhibited some strange things that, alone I would say are "iffy" but put together they may mean trouble. I have caught him in a lie concerning a girl he wanted to date before he met me. They never dated but he lied to me about a note she left on his car. 1st warning - if there was nothing there, why the lie? Then he was supposedly out with his friends drinking at a bar, when get came home he didn't smell of alcohol or smoke, but he smelled GOOD like baby oil and lotion like he had freshly showered. Finally I know he talked to a woman on the phone and exchanged texts with her, when I asked him he lied and then said he talked to her "a week or so ago, she called to say happy bday). Well his text showed she sent him a "Good morning D" and his reply was "Hey baby, what's up" but that was it. No more texts. But he did talk to her on the phone later that day for 6 mins. And we work together, he gets off at 4 and I at 4:30, he stopped in my office and asked if I was...