happy_southernlady

Will be docking there for the day in October 2013. Want to see the Waitling Distillery.

Anyone know of any safe but inexpensive van or bus companies?

Have not worn earrings in several years - holes are partially closed in both ears. Should I have new piercings done in same holes or new holes next to old holes? My ears are so sore right now trying to put earrings in. Ouch!

Running Windows 98 - and it's slow even with highspeed internet. Would a laptop be desirable? I'm not a gamer - I usually play word games and bowling or pinball games on the pc. But I do travel alot and I hear Wi-Fi is getting more available. I use my pc for internet access and to do word and excel documents. Would like to play dvds on the new pc. Thanks for your answers.

Vickie Guerra gave Teddy Long a "viagra" type pill - isn't that cute? They are a prescription medicine - and MacMahon is being investigated for his wrestlers using steroids. Does this bother anyone?

Elderly Blind Date

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old

man. When she returned to her daughter's house later that

night, she seemed upset.

"What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked.

"I had to slap his face three times!"

"You mean he got fresh?"

"No," she answered, "I thought he was dead."

Fred returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, Fred asks his wife for sex. She agrees, and they make love.

About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please just one more time before I die?" She says, "Of course, dear." And they make love for the third time.

After this session, the wife rolls over & falls asleep. Fred, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..?" At this point the wife sits up and says - "Hey I have to get up in the morning, you don't!"

Live simply. Love generously.

Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God.

They let Carlito hit Torrie again tonight. WWE should not show men hitting women - people bring their young kids to wrestling and I don't want them to think that it's o.k. for boys to hit girls.

I know Carlito's Mom didn't raise him to hit women!

"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out."

We can be very proud!

TICK WARNING

> >

> > I hate it when people forward bogus warnings. I've even done it

myself a couple times, but this one is important. So please send

this warning to everyone on your e-mail list.

> >

> > If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for

ticks due to the warming weather and ask you to take your clothes

off and dance around with your arms up...

> >

> > DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM!!

> >

> > They only want to see you naked...

> >

> > I wish I'd gotten this yesterday.

> >

> > I feel so stupid

teehee!

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

A Church school teacher asked her class. "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" One of the children replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"

teehee!

What is more important - receiving a paycheck or being able to hold your head high knowing that you kept your work ethics in order?

Please tell me how you really feel about the importance or lack of importance to have work ethics. Thank you.

"Do you think my friend Mary Catherine goes to a different Church every week?" Missy asked her Mom. "She told me she was a roaming Catholic?

How come "one careless match can

cause a forest fire?" But it takes

a whole box to start a camp fire?

Tina was having a little difficulty with her prayer:

"Give us this day our deli bread! Glory be to the Father,

and to the Son, and to the Whole East Coast!" Amen?

The deceased was a grouch and hated everybody. The Priest skirted this point as kindly as he could when he opened the funeral service by saying, "Nearly beloved....."

Two ways to look at everything ...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion and I

kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago and she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" said my wife. "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?"

Was not sure if this should go in jokes or polls and surveys, so I put it in both.

Two ways to look at everything ...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion and I

kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago and she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" said my wife. "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?"