reaching ♥ you

Right now I am 5'6" and 165lbs. I wanna get down to like 140 (or maybe lower). But my problem is that I feel like even if I lost weight, I still wouldn't like my body because of my body type.

I have a pear shape, but the thing is I have big legs, but my butt is not big at all, it's medium at most. I hate being a pear shape without the big butt. My boobs aren't that big either, so if I lost weight, I'd have small boobs and a small butt. I wish I was an hourglass shape, or at least a pear shape with a bigger butt, but I'm not. A lot of black guys like big butts. I feel like my body type really isn't all that.

Rihanna is a good example of my body type. We have exactly the same shape. A lot of people find Rihanna attractive with that type of body. But I still really insecure. I wish I had more curves, like JLo or Christina Hendricks.

I have an extremely hard time making friends. It's mainly because I am very shy, and I have terrible interpersonal communication skills. One question I have is, how exactly do you know when you can talk to someone? Like for example, if you keep seeing someone around, like on campus or in your class, is it okay to make eye contact with them? What does eye contact communicate? What about smiling? Does smiling at that person tell them that you'd want to talk to them? Would it be ok to say hi when you smile? Would you most likely eventually talk to the person? Would the person feel welcomed, or creeped out?

I'm just wondering how exactly do friendships begin. Like how EXACTLY does someone start talking to someone who becomes their friend? I know it varies by case, but in this case how exactly would you become friends with people you see around, when you never have any actually reason to talk to them?

I really do have terrible social skills and really just don't know how this works. I'm completely friendless as a result. I don't know how to make a friend .

Like if I wanted to maybe become friends with a girl, or group of girls I see around, I don't know how to go about it. I also get extremely scared that they won't like me, I'll be awkward, too shy, or my bad social skills will push them away somehow.

I want to be able to start talking to someone, but not in a way that's awkward or weird. I just want to be friendly and nice, but I'm afraid I'll mess up somehow.

I’m been in college for a year and a half, and haven’t made any friends. I’ve always struggled with making friends.

I really don’t know how to develop a closer relationship with people. I’ve made a couple of acquaintances and a casual friend, but no one that I ever talk to on a regular basis or hang out with. I’m always alone.

One problem I have is, I really don’t know how to move past a casual acquaintance level relationship with people. How do I make it so that we talk more, hang out, and get to know each other?? Often it seems to me that the acquaintances I make already have enough friends and really aren’t interested in getting to know me.

How do I know people actually would want to hang out with me?? No one has ever actually asked me to hang out, so I assume they don’t want to. And a lot of the time I worry that if I were to ask to hang out with someone, and they did say yes, they’d only be saying it because they feel like that have to, and not because they actually want to.

I’ve never actually bonded with my classmates or peers growing up, so I honestly don’t know how. I’ve always been a loner, and my social skills have suffered because of it.

I always see people hanging out with their friends, and going out and having fun. Sometimes it makes me sad. I’ve never done those sort of things. Often I feel like I never will, because I’ll probably never manage to make friends.

Friendships happen “naturally” for most people, but never for me. How do you know someone is the right person to befriend, and how do you know they’d want to be friends with you? How do you go about hanging out with them? How do you move passed small talk and to real friendship-type conversation and closeness?

How did you make the friends you have? How did you meet them, and actually start hanging out with them? How did you move passed small talk and to real bonding?

What am I missing that most other people seem to get???

I brushed a pen on my jacket by accident. How do I remove the mark??

My jacket is 100% Polyurethane.

Thanks for your help!

I brushed a pen on my jacket by accident. How do I remove it??

My jacket is 100% Polyurethane.

Thanks for your help!

I'm a very shy girl and have terrible social skills. I also have zero experience with guys, and I'm 19 years old. I'm a sophomore in college now, and I'm starting to notice that sometimes, guys look at me. Like if I go to a campus restaurant or whatever, I'll catch a guy looking at me. I'm flattered, because this means they think I'm attractive, but I also get extremely nervous and scared. I don't know what to do, and end up ignoring them. Most of the time though, they know that I noticed them. And then I feel bad because they may have wanted to talk to me, but I sort of rejected them. But I just get so nervous!!! I don't know what to do!!!

Sometimes I'm not attracted to the guy, but sometimes I am. But I get so anxious and don't know what I'm supposed to do, so don't do anything. Like I said, I'm really shy.

So what should I do when this happens???

If you're a girl, what do you tend to do when this happens to you??

If you're a guy, what do you expect from a girl when you're looking at her??

I'm literally clueless with these things, so I appreciate your help!!!!

Back in March my computer crashed and I lost everything on it, including my music. All the music I had is still on my iPhone though. I want to know, if I download iTunes and connect it to my iPhone, will it delete all the music on the phone?? Or will it sync up and get added into the iTunes?? I haven't connected my iPhone to the computer at all since March, because I'm scared it will delete all my music. I really don't want to lose any of it. It will be very difficult to get it back, What should I do??

I have the iPhone 3G S btw.

Thanks for your help!!

I want to know how you ended up being friends with the people you are friends with. How did it happen for you? How did you meet them? What did you do to become friends with those people? I've been in college for a couple of months now and have zero friends. I'm extremely shy, and really don't know how to make friends. So I want to know how other people have done it.

I'm going to be a college freshman next week. I'm really scared though that I won't be able to make friends. All my life I've been painfully shy and it's always been difficult for me to open up to people and express myself. I'm starting to realize just how incredibly boring and uninteresting I must be.

Whenever someone asks me to describe myself, I really don't want to, because I feel like they'll figure out that I'm just a bore. I don't have many interests and I currently don't have any friends. I'm such a loser. Who would want to be friends with me?

My roommate and I have started to email each other. She says that she's extremely outgoing, loud, and has lots of friends (we couldn't be any more opposite!). She seems nice, but I'm scared that when she meets me, she'll be disappointed, because I'm shy, quiet, and unsocial.

What can I do to help myself?

I graduated high school a month ago, and this fall I will attending college. I originally applied to all my colleges as an architecture major, but I've realized now that architecture really isn't for me. I've been thinking that maybe I should major in civil engineering. I know it's a hard major, but it seems kind of interesting. The one thing that worries me though is that I'm not that great at math.

In high school I did very well in Geometry and Physics, and did pretty decently in Algebra II. But I struggled a lot in Algebra I freshman year and PreCalculus senior year. I almost failed both Algebra I and PreCalculus for the year.

Do you think someone like me who is not so naturally good at math can do well in civil engineering? Or is Civil Engineering pretty much impossible for someone with my mathematical abilities?

I graduated high school a month ago and will be a college freshman this fall. I applied to all my colleges as an architecture major, but now I'm starting to realize that architecture really isn't for me. So, I've decided that I will be an undecided major. But now, I'm incredibly worried since I really don't know what I want to do with my life.

People often say to look at your skills and interests to help you decide what you should do. To be honest I don't have either of those. I'm not good or talented at anything. And there's nothing that I have a real interest in or that I'm passionate about.

I really want to find something that I actually enjoy and I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. But I have yet to find that and I don't even know where to start. I also think that finding something that promises a good salary would be nice, but that's not what's most important to me.

How do you think I should go about searching for what I should do?

I'm completely lost.

I graduated high school a month ago and will be a college freshman this fall. I applied to all my colleges as an architecture major, but now I'm starting to realize that architecture really isn't for me. So, I've decided that I will be an undecided major. But now, I'm incredibly worried since I really don't know what I want to do with my life.

People often say to look at your skills and interests to help you decide what you should do. To be honest I don't have either of those. I'm not good or talented at anything. And there's nothing that I have a real interest in or that I'm passionate about.

I really want to find something that I actually enjoy and I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. But I have yet to find that and I don't even know where to start. I also think that finding something that promises a good salary would be nice, but that's not what's most important to me.

How do you think I should go about searching for what I should do?

I'm completely lost.

I've been thinking a lot about this for a while, and I've decided that I want to wait until marriage to have my first sexual experience. I'm not actually doing this for religious purposes, and I don't think it's wrong when people don't wait. It's something I'm choosing to do for myself, as well as for my future husband. I want my first sexual experience to be, only with the man I commit the rest of my life to, and I'm happy that I'm making this decision.

But one thing worries me. I'm scared that it'll be hard to find a guy who'd be willing to wait for me. I feel like if I dated a guy and asked him to wait, he would feel deprived, break up with me, or end up cheating on me. I've never dated before, but it still seems like all guys want to do is have sex. I really look forward to having sex, but I just want to wait. Are there actually any guys out there who practice abstinence just like me, or would be willing to wait for a girl? Or am I going to have to put out for a guy to want to stay with me?

BTW I'm 17.

Discrimination is basically treating someone a certain way, just because they're different.

Can you please describe a situation you've been in where you were discriminated against? You can be discriminated for many things, such as:

- Age

- Ethnicity

- Gender

- Religion

- Weight

- Disability

- Sexual Orientation

- Where you live

- Social Class

- And much more I'm sure!

I'm doing this for my social studies class.

Please tell me about an incident when you have been discriminated against.

Thank you very much!

I'm a senior and I've had a crush on this guy ever since I was a freshman. He really is a great person. But whenever he talks to other girls, especially this one particular girl, I get so jealous! I hate it! I can tell that he and that one girl are such great friends and I'm so jealous of that.

He seems so happy when he sees her (I wish he felt the same for me). She knows him so well, and is closer to him than I'll ever be. They're definitely not dating though. And I'm completely sure there's no way me and him could ever date.

I've tried to ignore these feelings of jealousy, but they have just been building up and building up. I can't stand it anymore! I hate feeling so depressed and insecure over this. I feel so stupid and ridiculous. Nothing will ever happen between us, so why can't I get over this?

In 2 and a 1/2 months I'll be graduating and I'll never see this guy again. Though I will miss him greatly, I won't miss feeling so jealous when he talks to that girl. But how do I survive until then?

What do I do to not feel so jealous?

I feel like I tend to go about my day without noticing things. I don't notice where things are, the color of things, etc. In one of my classes, whenever we have to analyze a piece of art,

I never have anything good to say about them. I find it hard to look at the small details in the art and draw out intelligent opinions and observations about them. I feel like I'd really benefit from becoming more observant and having a keen eye for detail. But how do I develop observation skills?

I'm starting to realize how limited my creative abilities are. I can't create anything that is innovative and creative. I guess what has gotten me to feel like this is that I'm taking the Cooper Union Architecture Home Test, which tests your creative abilities and how you think. I feel like I'm expected to be able to create something amazingly brilliant or something, but I can't. I've never been creative or observant enough to come up with great ideas.

As I think about this more and more, I start to worry how I'll be next year in architecture school. At this point I want to just give up on the home test because I don't feel confident that I can do it. Next year when presented with a project, will I just give up? I don't want to be a quitter, but I feel like that's what I'll end up being. I'm not talented, creative, or brilliant. But I desperately want to be.

Any advice?

Any advice for a girl who has yet to discover hers?

Any advice for a girl who has yet to discover hers?

For some reason I've been feeling pretty down lately, and it has been reflecting in my schoolwork.

Last year in school, even though I procrastinated, I received really high grades and even reached a 95 quarter average. This year I'm a senior and my grades have been terrible. I got my report card last Friday and my grades weren't nearly as good as they should be. Especially math, which I am now failing. I've also been missing homework for a few classes as well as giving in assignments late. I can tell some of my teachers are frustrated with me and I feel bad. But I just don't have the motivation to do well in school anymore. I feel like a loser.

At one point this year I started to get high grades in math, but even when I got high grades, I still didn't feel confident in math, so I stopped trying and started doing badly again. Somehow it didn't make a difference to me. Either way I felt like a failure. It's not just with school though. Sometimes I'll put off something to the very last minute, or even not do it at all because I feel like I can't. I'll tell myself I can't. I feel sort of hopeless. I don't know what it is that has been making me feel so unmotivated and down in the dumps.

I've been feeling so sad because of the way things have been going for me. I just don't feel good about myself anymore.

Any advice?

:(