yama

i turned  down sex more times then i can count in college, i  always saw something so much as a kiss as sacred, what a fool i as, i made out a lot in college my last year but still no sex by choice, literally had girls asking me, i'm above average looking,  and i have self esteem issues, what a combo right? fast forward i'm 24 out of college and a girl is really into me at work,  me being the socially awkward person i am  i just don't bother and she is hitting on me hard, we get into a relationship for 4 years, she cheats on me.... f**cks this guy and then F***cks me without condoms, i get w.e this guy has,  after the heart break period, which i wanted to kill my self on and almost did... it was rough, so fcken rough, i'm finally ready to start dating again, i go on about 12 dates from these dating apps, i stop cause ifeel like i need to work on myself a bit, a month later i see warts on my junk... i got to a dr 2 months after and i have an std... genital warts.... u can't test for it in guys apparently even though i thought i covered this by getting a 10 panel std test done but i guess sh!t can't be figured out still. now i'm infectious to females, i honestly feel like if god exists he put me here to suffer, my closest and only person in the world said people have it worse and she is right but, i still feel like i was delt a more then bad hand.

it's not like i can buy  a ranch or even a house, i can rent an apartment that accepts dogs, i feel horrible ofr these 2 dogs, so bad it keeps me up at night, i lose sleep for personal reasons. i can't have dogs that are 8 years old who have never been trained to not piss and poo in the house..... i am sacrifice half my savings 3k to train them, i'll do that much... please tell, me how to.