Lily of

If you really want to quit, you will.

I spend hours on the internet. I wish I did more with my day other than being in room online. It is like I go to class. Go online. Clean. Homework. Eat. Go online. It is a weekday, I do not want to be social. I feel like I may be secretly depressed since I spend almost everyday online for 5 hours or more.

I have had a penis in me for a like 30 seconds, but I have never full on sex. I want to say I am virgin because I am not that experienced. What are the risks for Stds?

What age does being ditzy stops seeming cute?

There are a few people I greatly admire. They are flourishing with exemplary qualities: hardworking, intelligent, practical/logical, realist, sense of humor, kind/generous, honest. Even with these people, I still notice they can have a tendency to be know-it-all, condescending, egotistical, stubborn, too harsh, lack understanding, selfish, rude, unforgiving, manipulative, controlling, unaware of their own errors sometimes. Why can't people make themselves perfect?

Realism and objectivity to me more worthy than idealism and subjectivity. Yet there are people who are idealist and value subjective experiences. I wonder why?

I have kissed three girls. I have gone further than kissing with two out of the three. I would say it involved breasts and nothing more. I do get turned on by women seeing them physically. A relationship is so-so, but I do not think I feel at all the same way I feel for men as I feel for women.

I like average characters they are easier to write. Sometimes I feel serendipity writing an average character. As I finish, they are not so "average" after all.

I like strong, blunt characters. Drawbacks: I do not like writing provocative characters just to be provocative. I feel like "evil", sinister or mean characters illustrate a more honest part of human nature.

I love my aunt. She is honest, generous person. She has an opinion about literally everything. She sees things black and white. She has a strong sense of right and wrong. She generally thinks she is right and has many presumptions towards others. My father says I should let her be. She is struggling financially, her mother is very sick, and she was apparently screwed over by a lot of her friends. She is so cynical and negative. I guess since she is poor, she hates cheats. She seems to always have an opinion on how others she lead their lives. Why can't she just mind her own business? She is quite political too. She has zero tolerance for any kind of irresponsible or selfish behavior.

Why does lack of forgiveness hurt you?

I have my opinions. I can listen to other people's opinions without being influenced. I do not mind, but I just do not change. My friend thinks I should be open to changing my opinions on certain issues. I do not. I have no problem listening to what others have to say, that is probably why I do get offended easily. She questioned me, well what if I am wrong. I do not care if I am wrong. I do not like to argue. I just state my opinion. Why do people like to challenge, persuade other people's opinions? It is just an opinion.

Sometimes I think being a tough, tactless jerk is better than be whiny, overly sensitive mamby-pamby. I see how being whiny, mushy is a fault. How is be tactless a fault? How is being an intelligent crook a fault? I guess I only think things are "faults" if they somehow get in your way. How is being nihilistic or apathetic a fault? How is being short-tempered a fault?

I think way too much. I overanalyze. I can be self-absorbed and clingy. I get very insecure easily. I am repetitive. Yes, our flaws make us complex and real. We all have flaws, we "must" correct or else we will end up lonely. Some flaws seems better than others. I would rather be a tough tactless b****h, then a whiner. I would rather be a smart crook than stupid and naive. Our flaws always prevent us from being happy or cause trouble. No matter how hard you try to change, some flaws seem habitual or honestly very difficult to change.

I have been trying to write the same character for the past four years or more. I may change the name, location, age, and ethnicity, but generally she is the exact same person. She still has brown hair, hazel-brown eyes, and brown skin. Sometimes, she is black, sometimes she is hispanic, sometimes she is biracial, sometimes she is just a tan white woman. I just have difficulty choosing her distinct personality. One story, she is like Cinderella. the next, she is sociopath. The next story she is bland, and average. I always give my protagonist characteristics I wish I possessed, some of them are not so-goody good either. I really love people who are very kind despite how others treat them, that shows virtue. I love sociopaths because well they do not give a rat's butt. I like average, grounded characters because that is a characteristic I lack. It is nice to write about someone who is moderate because in reality the world is not black and white.

She is very strong, independent person. She is very honest and not afraid to tell people the truth. I admire her a lot for these reasons. She can be bossy, too rough, harsh, insensitive and intolerant of mistakes. She does not have a lot of patient with things. I feel like I am the one always running back to apologize to her or to make our friendship work. It gets tiring. When I am sad, instead of comforting me, she lectures on how and why I am wrong or she gives her opinion. I feel like such a baby compared to her because I am more emotional. Maybe that honesty is her way of being kind to others. Sometimes always hearing her opinions and honesty can be too much. I feel like I am always been criticized for every little thing I do wrong. I understand your family expects the most and best from you. Sometimes it just feels like an endless list of things I can not live up too.

Isn't it better to grounded in reality? What about reality do people refuse to face?

Why are people offended or hurt by other people's opinions?

I have medium brown skin. I am not as light as Beyonce Knowles or as dark as Serena Williams. I have regular dark brown eyes. I want my eyes to pop. I think hazel eyes do not contrast enough. Blue eyes are creepy. Would light green contacts fit?

Raven black hair on a black person with medium brown skin. I am not light-skinned like Beyonce or dark-skinned like Whoopi Goldberg. I have both red and yellow undertones. Would chocolate brown hair or dark chocolate brown look better for me?