Brian

In my mind it is not fair to allow a person to develop feelings for me if I am not expected to live but a few more years. It's very lonely and scary to think about dealing with all of this alone, but am I correct to think that it is unfair and potentially hurtful and selfish to get involved and allow someone to get attached to me?

Ok so this woman and I had a relationship some years ago which we quickly realized wasn't going to work out but we were able to be friends no problem. Recently she got married and asked her husband to delete his ex gfs from facebook and stop contact with them which he did. On her own accord she felt she needed to stop contact with me also which I was ok with. She told me about it and I said ok that's cool I can respect that. Well she keeps going into detailed explanations about it and apologizing for it over and over but it was ok with me, someone's marriage is too important and I am fine with it. My question is, was I expected to argue over it? Was there resistance expected? I dunno, it was just odd how she behaved about it. I hope I didnt hurt her feelings or make her think I didn't care. I was just bein cooperative. Any opinions?

I just couldn't resist giving myself a couple of extra hundreds when I was playing Monopoly with my son and his cousin.. Now they caught me and I don't know what I should do!!!

(please don't take this seriously, I am just bored and I can afford to waste 5 points)

For about the last month or so, I have had probably 2 or 3 dreams a week that involve my ex wife. We divorced 7 years ago and she has remarried and has a family of her own. I still care for her a lot, but I don't really want to get back with her because of several reasons. 1. She doesn't want to anyway so it's a waste of energy for me to even think about it. 2. I don't want to bust up her family now, there are kids between her and him. and 3. I just don't think it would work because she lacks a sense of humor and basic human compassion. But anyway, these dreams are not always the same, sometimes we are married and working through things, sometimes she wants to come back to me. Sometimes we're just really close friends and all of the tension between us is gone. I don't know why I keep having them and I'm wondering if it's normal or if I am just crazy.

Answers from those who started seeing someone else before the divorce was final or before the seperation even happened will not serve my purpose for asking, grab your 2 pts, but don't count on a best answer.

I keep seeing so many people saying loose instead of lose I'm starting to second guess myself. It's making me insane. Lose is a verb, loose is an adjective, the opposite of tight right?

Some of the questions and answers I see on here are so nasty I just feel like society is totally in the toilet. I see a lot of hateful, spiteful women, a lot of bitter, hateful men, a lot of men and women both who's only concern is sex. And way too many who are quick to say something like "just dump the loser". Am I just in a cranky mood? Or is this something others see too?

If the temperature is 95 to 100 degrees, how much cooler will it be in the shade? Is it still just as hot but just feels cooler without the radiant heat of the sun? I have a 45 minute commute home in the heat of the day with no air conditioning. My disability is severely aggravated by the heat, to the point I have difficulty getting from my car to my house when I get too hot. I pass by a rest stop with a lot of shade about half way home. Would there be a significant enough difference in temperature to make it worth stopping and resting a bit on the way if time was not a factor?

I have a friend who is prescribed lithium and is apparently at the end of his rope, he says that since just a little too much lithium can kill you, then he should be able to off himself if he takes like a whole bunch of them and then goes to sleep. Should I take his lithium away??? He needs it for his bipolar disorder, but I'm thinking I should take it away and make him come over and take it so I can monitor him and make sure he doesn't take the whole bottle. Can it really kill him or just make him really sick??

I am physically disabled to the point I use either a wheelchair or walker to get around depending on how far I need to go. I am trying to get rehabilitated, but it's been several years and the rehab has had minimal effect thus far. I have been waiting to get involved with anyone until the rehab shows some positive effects, partly because I don't want to expose anyone to my frustration of trying to do the rehab, and partly because I don't feel confident that any woman would want a man who isn't strong and capable of doing the things most men can do. My question is, do you think if I cannot get rehabilitated I am looking at being alone for the rest of my life? How many of you think you could deal with someone who is disabled in such a way. How many of you would think less of your man if he became so frustrated during the therapy that he often just broke down and ended up having to fight through tears to get it done. Am I less of a man because of all of this?

Well, I rarely remember my dreams but last night I had a dream about my ex wife that I don't know how to feel about. It was about my ex wife and so that's why it's in M&D section. Ok so we were at my youngest boy's birthday party and she was really upset about something. I went into her kitchen and she was crying, which is very unusual for her so I asked what was wrong. She said she just wants to run away. She said it's just getting to be too much for her. I said what and she said everything. Never really got specific about what was bothering her. She asked me to go with her...This is where it gets weird. I told her I can't just pick up and leave our children behind like that. She said we could take our 2 and she would leave the other 2 with their dad. Ok, the disturbing part is, I wanted to go. At first I thought she was just messing with me or giving me a test, so I said if you can look me straight in the eye and say this, then I will go. She was able to do it without hesitation, and then I woke up, confused, guilty, relieved that I don't really have to work through the situation. We have been divorced 7 years, and I feel like I shouldn't be having these kinds of dreams still. I would not want to break up her new family so it disturbs me that I was so willing to do so in the dream. I readily admit that I still care about her very much, I know we are too different to ever be able to make it in a relationship, the 10 years we were together, 7 or 8 of them were pretty good, but I think she was pretending a lot to make me happy and it was killing her. (Oh and if it matters I never remarried and in fact haven't even dated for the last 5 years) Am I just getting lonely or what? It's not an isolated thing, as I said I rarely remember my dreams, but lately I have a lot of dreams about her wanting to be back with me and I tend to remember them. Weird, any ideas?

What 5 US cities would you most like to visit? How about live in?

What 5 US cities would you least like to visit? How about live in?

You don't have to have been to any of the cities you list and you don't need to say why unless you want to.

I'm all in favor of him being excluded in conversations about the greats of the past, but do most people do it because he is such an epic failure of a human being after football, or was he just not that good? Tried doing some research but any research about OJ typically yields news stories of his most recent criminal transgressions. I'm too young to know from watching him if he was a really good RB. I would like opinions, and for the record, I think OJ is a shameful person so I'm not at all trying to defend him, just pondering .

I am currently having serious health problems and having difficulty with getting to work regularly. I have intermittent FMLA leave as well as disability leave through my work, set up so I can leave as needed. Anyway, The money came from his savings so he's not really noticing it is gone, obviously it's not hurting him, but I feel guilty. It's not his responsibility to be helping his crippled up dad. I offered to pay back 220 on the 200 I borrowed if he would give me an extra 2 weeks to pay it back. Which he accepted with no hesitation. The 2 weeks is coming again, and I can pay the money back, but would have to borrow it back again within about 10 days probably. Do you think it would be better to just say, hey I'll throw in another 20 bucks if you extend me 2 more weeks? I know he would do it. He's my son so I don't mind that he's getting the extra money and I appreciate his help. I am sure he would just extend it anyway, but I don't want to take advantage of having a good natured kid. Do you think as long as I do pay the money back, along with the extra I promised it is a bad thing? I'm not borrowing for silly reasons, food, rent, gas, utilities. He is saving to buy a different car and has no intention to buy one until next Feb. I am selling my car and buying the one he has now for a little more than it's market value to help him out when he is ready to buy. I have every intention of paying him back and then some. Am I a bad parent? Or just lucky to have a son who is willing to help out?

No offense to anyone else, but there are certain issues that only one who has been there can truly understand and advise on. Bipolars, is it normal even on medication to still have difficulty with controlling the intensity of certain emotions? I have noticed a substantial difference in the frequency of the irritable, sad, and frustrated episodes, and typically I can see a trigger when they come so it's ok. Certainly better than crying, lashing out, being grumpy over something I can't even identify, but the intensity seems to be the same, I get just as angry, just as sad, just as frustrated as before. I can deal with it but I wonder if it's an indication of medication not working or if it's normal human emotion? I don't want to medicate away every emotion so I hope it's just normal.

What I mean is, if a man doesn't treat his wife as he should, is it justification for her to cheat, or only justfication for her to leave?

I have seen people who have been through 2, 3 maybe more marriages and they still go for another one. I was married one time for 10 years, divorced 7 years ago. I'd always had serious trust issues with anyone but her. I trusted her with anything. I never believed she would do anything to hurt me. But the night she called me and told me she was in bed with another man, I was in shock. I couldn't believe she would so willfully try so hard to hurt me by calling from his own bed. I didn't treat her the best and I regret more than I can even put in words.I am sorry that I caused such a large portion of her past to be a bad memory. But my question is, how do people deal with marrying over and over and over? I dont' feel like I could ever trust anyone the way I did her again. And I don't feel like I could ever trust myself to be a decent husband anyway. I don't even date anymore simply because I just don't think it's fair to anyone to expose them to my unpredictable behavior ( I am bipolar). I just don't get it I guess.

I divorced in 2002, I didn't want the divorce, but my lawyer basically told me that even if I fought it she would get the divorce and I would spend a lot of money for nothing. So I basically played very nice and gave her what she wanted, hoping that she may change her mind some day. Well here we are 7 years later, she remarried about 5 years ago and now has 2 children from that marriage. I have no interest in being with her, but I still care very much about what happens to her, and even her children she has that are not mine. It doesn't seem to be reciprocated so I don't press the issue and generally give her a lot of space. We only live about a half block apart but that is so I can be near my kids and it hasn't been a problem, in fact we see each other less now than we did when I lived 40 miles away. My question is, is it more the norm to care about your ex spouse, or to be cold and indifferent to them? Sometimes I am told that I need to "get over her" but it's not like I want to be with her anymore, she's just a good mother and she was a good wife. I made a lot of mistakes and take about 3/4 of the blame for our seperation. I feel bad that I didn't treat her as well as she probably deserved and as I realize more and more there is no way I can ever make up for it, I just have less and less of an idea how to feel or act about it. Any thoughts?

I've noticed this a lot. Just curious, please be gentle.

There seems to be an argument raging on both sides of this issue. Set aside bias and disdain for the other side and ask yourself. Does this single matter determine whether a person is intelligent or not? A hateful, spiteful, arrogant or biased answer doesn't further the cause of whatever side you are on so bear this in mind.