Airman's Wife

Not pregnant, just planning for future children. It's difficult to find names that both my husband and I like, and even tougher to find names we agree on that aren't in the top 10 baby names.

Recently I came across Catalina, which means "pure" and has Spanish heritage. I think it's very pretty, it honors my husband's Spanish heritage, and has some great built-in nicknames.

What do you think?

BQ: We want the middle name to be Juliet, so what are your thoughts about Catalina Juliet?

Thanks!

Hi all,

My younger sister-in-law texted my husband last Wednesday to tell him that she and my MIL and FIL are coming to visit from June 15 to June 30. We've been trying to call his parents since then to talk about this, but they haven't returned our phone calls.

They are welcome to come visit, but when we were talking about them visiting earlier this year, we told them that they need to give us at least a month's notice, maybe more, and that June and July were not good for us. My husband is active-duty military and he has to ask for leave at least a month in advance, preferably sooner, and his unit has stopped accepting non-emergency leave requests for June and July because they've got so many people applying for leave. Plus my MIL and SIL are demanding that we need to "get rid of" our two special-needs cats while they visit because my SIL has mild allergies (she has been around cats before, and gets a runny nose/itchy eyes, but nothing severe).

I understand that they're not entirely familiar with how the military works in terms of leave, but we are really frustrated that they didn't even bother to coordinate their visit with us, especially since they'll be staying at our house, and now they won't return our calls. I think we need to set some boundaries so that this doesn't happen again, but I don't know how to have that conversation without my MIL taking great offense (she is going through menopause and has always been prone to being a little dramatic). I'm thinking these are the rules we are going to set down:

--Please call us and discuss possible dates with us, because there are exercises, TDYs and leave bans that come up unexpectedly.

--Please respect what we tell you if we say a particular time is not good for us, especially if you want to stay with us instead of at a hotel.

--We will happily show you around, but we are not tour guides, and we are not on vacation ourselves, so please take a look at the emails I send you about events and activities in the area and choose a few so that I am not having to plan your vacation activities for you.

--If you want to stay with us, please remember that we have cats, and that they are members of our family, so we will either supply you with plenty of Claritin, or we can recommend some good hotels that are close by.

Are these reasonable boundaries? Is there a more gentle way to say these things?

Thanks in advance.

Hi all,

My younger sister-in-law texted my husband last Wednesday to tell him that she and my MIL and FIL are coming to visit from June 15 to June 30. We've been trying to call his parents since then to talk about this, but they haven't returned our phone calls.

They are welcome to come visit, but when we were talking about them visiting earlier this year, we told them that they need to give us at least a month's notice, maybe more, and that June and July were not good for us. My husband is active-duty military and he has to ask for leave at least a month in advance, preferably sooner, and his unit has stopped accepting non-emergency leave requests for June and July because they've got so many people applying for leave. Plus my MIL and SIL are demanding that we need to "get rid of" our two special-needs cats while they visit because my SIL has mild allergies (she has been around cats before, and gets a runny nose/itchy eyes, but nothing severe).

I understand that they're not entirely familiar with how the military works in terms of leave, but we are really frustrated that they didn't even bother to coordinate their visit with us, especially since they'll be staying at our house, and now they won't return our calls. I think we need to set some boundaries so that this doesn't happen again, but I don't know how to have that conversation without my MIL taking great offense (she is going through menopause and has always been prone to being a little dramatic). I'm thinking these are the rules we are going to set down:

--Please call us and discuss possible dates with us, because there are exercises, TDYs and leave bans that come up unexpectedly.

--Please respect what we tell you if we say a particular time is not good for us, especially if you want to stay with us instead of at a hotel.

--We will happily show you around, but we are not tour guides, and we are not on vacation ourselves, so please take a look at the emails I send you about events and activities in the area and choose a few so that I am not having to plan your vacation activities for you.

--If you want to stay with us, please remember that we have cats, and that they are members of our family, so we will either supply you with plenty of Claritin, or we can recommend some good hotels that are close by.

Are these reasonable boundaries? Is there a more gentle way to say these things?

Thanks in advance.

Aloha all,

My husband and I live in townhome-style military housing in which every unit has at least one wall adjoining another. We have new neighbors who have a little boy, and I'd put his age at 3 or 4. He seems very sweet and often enjoys peeking into our patio door to check out our two cats (our backyards are not fenced in, so he has access to our yard). He often plays in our backyard, and though I've stuck my head out a few times to say "hello", I've never seen nor met his parents. I am a little concerned that he is outside unsupervised in an unfenced backyard, especially since there are parking lots and streets within easy walking distance, and many of our neighbors have big dogs who may not take kindly to curious little fingers.

Another concern is that his nursery shares a wall with our bedroom. Since they moved in three weeks ago, it seems that he doesn't go to bed until 11 PM, and he is always sobbing and yelling when he's being put to bed. It also sounds as though he throws his toys out of his bed and into the wall. He typically cries for about an hour before falling asleep. My husband and I usually go to bed around 10PM, and my husband has to be up and out the door for work at 5AM. We both find it impossible to sleep while he cries, and although we have tried going to bed earlier, we both get woken up when he cries.

I don't have children myself, but I did spend a lot of time helping my mother with my infant twin brothers as a teenager and I understand that to some extent, you can't always control your child's reaction to bed time, and that there will just be bad nights, but it's been every night for three weeks, and my husband is starting to get intense headaches at work because he's been unable to get enough sleep.

I don't even know if this is something I should bring up with my neighbor. I know that no one likes to feel criticised about their child or their parenting, especially by someone with no children, but I'm worried about the little boy being outside alone and we're exhausted listening to him cry himself to sleep every night.

If you were in this situation, would you say something to Mom and Dad, or would you leave it alone? We could try earplugs or a nonprescription sleep aid to see if that makes a difference at night.

I live on a military base and our housing has very open, communal-type backyards. I usually leave our sliding glass door open for my two cats to enjoy the sounds and smells in the evenings, and tonight was no exception. While at my computer, I heard the neighbor's oldest daughter screaming obscenities at one of their dogs. I got up to make sure things were under control and saw the girl punching the area where the dog was hiding (I'm not sure if she actually hit him) and then spat on/at him and walked away.

I am completely disgusted by her behavior, and I'm wondering what I should do--should I walk over to her home and speak with her parents? None of us have ever spoken, and I don't know how they would receive this information. Someone suggested calling security forces, but I think that might be excessive. What would you do in this case?

--I haven't gotten a good look at her face, but I'd put her age somewhere between 12 and 15 years old.

I live on a military base and our housing has very open, communal-type backyards. I usually leave our sliding glass door open for my two cats to enjoy the sounds and smells in the evenings, and tonight was no exception. While at my computer, I heard the neighbor's oldest daughter screaming obscenities at one of their dogs. I got up to make sure things were under control and saw the girl punching the area where the dog was hiding (I'm not sure if she actually hit him) and then spat on/at him and walked away.

I am completely disgusted by her behavior, and I'm wondering what I should do--should I walk over to her home and speak with her parents? None of us have ever spoken, and I don't know how they would receive this information. Someone suggested calling security forces, but I think that might be excessive. What would you do in this case?

I came across Rylan the other day and I really like it. It's an Irish name, a variant of Ryland. What do you think? My husband thinks it sounds too gender-neutral for his taste.

Love it? Hate it? Middle name suggestions?

Thanks!

My husband and I are trying to narrow down our options for girls to one or two names. Our current favorites are:

Seraphina Juliet Yslas (Sera/Finn)

Olivia Sophia Yslas (Livi)

Charlotte Elizabeth Yslas (Charlie)

Elizabeth Olivia Yslas (Ella/Liz/Beth/Lizzi)

Liliana Soleil Yslas (Lili)

Amelia Rosalind Yslas (Amy/Mia/Meli)

Please let me know what you think of the above names--do you love them? Hate them? Why? Would you move middle names around? Any suggestions?

Thank you! :)

My husband and I are in our early twenties, and he is in the military. At work, he has made friends with another military couple that we get along with. We enjoy their company most of the time, but the problem starts when the alcohol comes out.

Both my husband and I enjoy the occasional drink, but we're both over 21 and drink sparingly. The wife is still under 21, and they frequently have another military member over who drinks copiously, and he is not of legal age either. We are uncomfortable being with these two when they're drinking, especially since we'd be held legally responsible for contributing to the deliquincy of a minor should someone find out. Something like that could cost my husband his security clearance, and potentially his job.

The problem is that this couple can't seem to avoid busting out the tequila and inviting us over to play "beer pong". They have mentioned how fond they are of us many times and are the gossipy type, so we don't want to offend them, but we aren't interested in drinking and don't want to expose ourselves to the legal risks. We don't want to offend this couple, since my husband sees them daily at work.

Is there a polite way to let them know that we're up for hanging out sans alcohol, but we're not down for beer pong on Friday nights without basically calling them lawbreakers or making them feel like we're passing a negative judgment on them?

Whenever my husband and I buy gifts for my much-younger brothers, whether it's for a birthday or for Christmas, we always get a thank-you phone call and a thank-you card from them. My grandmother and mother both also either call to say thank you or send me a nice text message when we send them small gifts as well.

My husband's family is completely different. My husband and I got my younger SIL gifts last Christmas, for her birthday last year, and this past Christmas, and not once has she said "Hey, thanks for the present!" I had to ask her if she had received them because I thought maybe her gifts had gotten lost in the mail. She's turning 16 this month, so I don't think it's unreasonable for her to at least say, "Hey, thanks for the gift card, I got myself some cool new t-shirts and a purse I wanted". I don't expect her to send me a thank you card, but sheesh, not even a text or a Facebook post? It takes all of 30 seconds!

We also sent a Christmas gift to my older SIL's children and I don't even know if my SIL received it since she hasn't mentioned it. We all talk fairly often (usually twice a month) and are all on fairly good terms with one another. The gifts we give never get acknowledged, but when we were not as financially sound and couldn't afford to do Christmas a couple of years ago, we got lambasted for it.

Does anyone else find this a little rude? I was always raised to say thank you, but I guess maybe I'm old-fashioned that way, or I'm just too picky.

My husband called my MIL to say hello and wish her a merry Christmas since she'll be out of the country for the holidays. My MIL responded by telling him how furious she is with him and with my mother.

Apparently my MIL saw my mother at a local store they both shop at, my MIL waved, and my mother didn't return the wave. My mother is not the type of person to be deliberately rude or catty, and she's only met my MIL twice, so I'm betting she either didn't recognize my MIL or was lost in thought and not really paying attention. I let my MIL know that it was unintentional and that there's a lot going on in my mom's life right now. My MIL responded with "Well I work six days a week and I still manage to pay attention to the surroundings around me." My MIL is frequently getting into these little tiffs with her family members or her friends, so to some degree, I'm not surprised. If she wants to get into a silly fight with her friends, it's her own business. But I really don't appreciate it when she begins screaming to me about what a spoiled b*tch my mother is, how she's SO offended, and how I'm just defending her because she's my mother.

Then my MIL starts in on us because we haven't been keeping her "in the loop" regarding my 15-year-old SIL's FaceBook. I check in on her wall and photos periodically and have made some comments here and there to my husband about a photo I don't think is really internet appropriate, but I don't think it's my business to dictate everything his sister puts on her FB--that's where my MIL comes in. I want my SIL to be smart and make good choices, but I'm not her mother, and the last time my husband tried to mention our concerns to his parents, they basically told us to mind our own business. Now his mother is furious since his SIL has a boyfriend and is posting pretty crazy things (i.e. "I would die for you, I love you so much it kills me", etc) and changed her relationship status to "married". My MIL has now insisted that we monitor her FB account and alert MIL of anything inappropriate.

What on earth am I supposed to say to her? The issue with my mother is ridiculous, and my MIL's reaction is so over-the-top that I don't know how to try to get her to calm down. And how do I tell her I don't want to be responsible for my SIL's online behavior? Yes, I keep an eye on her, but I'm not her mother.

My husband called my MIL to say hello and wish her a merry Christmas since she'll be out of the country for the holidays. My MIL responded by telling him how furious she is with him and with my mother.

Apparently my MIL saw my mother at a local store they both shop at, my MIL waved, and my mother didn't return the wave. My mother is not the type of person to be deliberately rude or catty, and she's only met my MIL twice, so I'm betting she either didn't recognize my MIL or was lost in thought and not really paying attention. I let my MIL know that it was unintentional and that there's a lot going on in my mom's life right now. My MIL responded with "Well I work six days a week and I still manage to pay attention to the surroundings around me." My MIL is frequently getting into these little tiffs with her family members or her friends, so to some degree, I'm not surprised. If she wants to get into a silly fight with her friends, it's her own business. But I really don't appreciate it when she begins screaming to me about what a spoiled b*tch my mother is, how she's SO offended, and how I'm just defending her because she's my mother.

Then my MIL starts in on us because we haven't been keeping her "in the loop" regarding my 15-year-old SIL's FaceBook. I check in on her wall and photos periodically and have made some comments here and there to my husband about a photo I don't think is really internet appropriate, but I don't think it's my business to dictate everything his sister puts on her FB--that's where my MIL comes in. I want my SIL to be smart and make good choices, but I'm not her mother, and the last time my husband tried to mention our concerns to his parents, they basically told us to mind our own business. Now his mother is furious since his SIL has a boyfriend and is posting pretty crazy things (i.e. "I would die for you, I love you so much it kills me", etc) and changed her relationship status to "married". My MIL has now insisted that we monitor her FB account and alert MIL of anything inappropriate.

What on earth am I supposed to say to her? The issue with my mother is ridiculous, and my MIL's reaction is so over-the-top that I don't know how to try to get her to calm down. And how do I tell her I don't want to be responsible for my SIL's online behavior? Yes, I keep an eye on her, but I'm not her mother.

I live on a military base that's full of cats that have been abandoned or have been sired by abandoned cats. I own one shy kitty who was abandoned on base and am fostering another, and both are very gentle and sweet.

Tonight, a couple of the strays got into a fight very close to our home (first time it's happened that we've been around for). Both my kitties are pretty freaked out right now. I've turned off lights, closed all the blinds, and turned on a radio to try to help them feel more secure, but they still seem upset. Is there anything I can do to help them calm down and feel comfortable after they've overheard a cat fight?

My husband and I are having such a hard time with boy names! We'd like Spanish/Italian names to match our last name (Yslas).

We have been toying with Leandro (Leo), Alessandro, Matteo, Lucian, and Arturo (husband's name). Of these names, which do you like best? Which do you like least? Do you have any suggestions to add? We like Alejandro and Giovanni as well, but my little brother and SIL's son have claimed those names already :)

BQ: if you have a child, what were your deciding factors in choosing a name? Family meaning, name meaning, popularity, etc.

Hi all,

My husband is active-duty Air Force and is set to graduate from technical school in April. Upon graduation, we're heading back to our hometown to visit with family before heading to our permanent station. My husband's little sister turns fifteen today, and she had a big family quince in Mexico last week and is having a big party with her friends tomorrow. My MIL is saying she wants to have another birthday party for his sister when we come down to visit. This seems excessive to me, and my husband is a little bit bothered that his mother wants to make a huge fuss about his sister when he hasn't seen his family in almost a year. I agree--I think 3 birthday parties is silly. If it's important to his sister, we'd be happy to get a cake and sing happy birthday again, but a huge extravagant party for his sister (for the third time) is rubbing us the wrong way.

His mother asks us on a daily basis when we will know the exact dates of our visit--we won't know until my husband graduates, because he's got an extra 3 week course to complete before we can leave, and those are not scheduled far in advance. So now we feel guilty because his mother is telling us we're holding up party plans by not knowing when we're going to be there.

What should I say to my husband? I think a big part of why he's bothered by this is because his mother is throwing three huge parties for his sister while she couldn't even be bothered to send him a card or call him on his birthday in October. It's kind of like a slap in the face. I don't know what to say to him, and I don't know if we should just let it go or if we should let his mom know that we think it's a little silly to be throwing another party, especially since we won't be able to give her exact dates until the last minute.

Thanks!

Hi all!

So hubby and I have decided on Alessandro Tomas as our first choice baby boy pick, but we'd like to have some options in terms of nicknames (other than Alex). Any suggestions?

Thank you, and happy 2010!

Hi there!

My hubby and I aren't pregnant, but are thinking about it. We have four names for girls that we absolutely love, but we've only decided on one boy name! We love names that sound Italian or Spanish, and they have to flow nicely with our last name Yslas (pronounced Ee-slas).

These are the names we love, just to give you an idea of what style we like.

Elena Aolani

Isabella Oriana

Sofia Vianae

Isadora Marielle

Alessandro Tomas

Thanks in advance, and happy 2010!!

:)

Hi all!

My hubby graduates from Air Force BMT on Friday...woo hoo! I'm wondering if my husband is allowed to come "relax" in my hotel room at the Gateway Inn on base during his base liberty time. The hotel is on base, and just a few yards away from his dorm area, but I'm not sure if he's allowed to be in the hotel rooms during base liberty. I'm hoping it's not off-limits...but I have a sinking feeling it is!

Anyone know, or have a good guess as to whether he'd be allowed to come hang out at the room?

Thanks in advance! :)

Hi all!

My hubby graduates from Air Force BMT on Friday...woo hoo! I'm wondering if my husband is allowed to come "relax" in my hotel room at the Gateway Inn on base during his base liberty time. The hotel is on base, and just a few yards away from his dorm area, but I'm not sure if he's allowed to be in the hotel rooms during base liberty. I'm hoping it's not off-limits...but I have a sinking feeling it is!

Anyone know, or have a good guess as to whether he'd be allowed to come hang out at the room?

Thanks in advance! :)

Hi all!

My husband is currently finishing up his last few days at Air Force Basic Military Training. I spoke to him for just a couple of minutes today before he had to hang up. He had to call his mother for some of her information, and during the course of their conversation, told my husband that I never call and I don't communicate with them.

I call his mother with an update once a week, and I send her an email once a week. I don't get phone calls from them, and I don't get replies to my emails (when I ask about them during my phone call, she always says she's received them, so that's not the issue).

I am very upset that she would say this to my husband and would not try to talk to me if she felt that I was somehow being unfair or if she wanted to hear from me more. She has a history of being dramatic, overemotional, and wanting inappropriate control over my husband. She has constantly tried to diminish my importance in his life and is having trouble letting go of her "little boy". Everything with her seems like she is competing with me for his attention and love, which I find annoying and slightly creepy. She seems to be only interested in supporting him and being a caring mother when it suits her purposes and when it is convenient for her, and this has gone on his entire life.

I don't know if I need to talk to her about the lie directly or if I should tell my husband how I'm feeling and let him handle it. I would like to discuss this with her, as I feel that's how mature adults handle a conflict, but I have the sinking feeling that this would just cause a further rift between his mother and I. Should I just brush it off and chalk it up to a bitter mother-in-law? She may show up at his graduation ceremony next week, and so I'm a little uncomfortable seeing her in person after finding out she lied about our contact.

I apologize for the length. Just trying to be thorough!