Flutterby

I'm looking at stores that sell corsets online to see whether or not I want to visit them to get one, but I'm having a huge amount of trouble finding any that seem to be geared at small-breasted women. The few I do find are all, "Our corsets will make your boobs look FANTASTIC!" (read: bigger.) I tried the other end of the spectrum and looked up breast-flattening corsets, but could only find ones aimed at trans men that are designed to be worn under other clothing to give the impression of a male chest. All well and good, but I kinda want mine for show.

Anyone know where I can find corsets designed to fit a small chest without trying to push and squish the poor boobs around to make them bigger?

I'm planning on getting a tattoo where the outermost design is a circle. While I don't expect it to not shift at all when I move, I'd like to place it somewhere where day-to-day movement doesn't directly affect the area too much, as it's such an exact shape that the distortion would be obvious. Any tips?

Thanks in advance!

I'm a female who's arguably butch. Because the world is full of idiots, there are plenty of people who assume I'm homosexual. If I'm in the mood to deal with it, I'll try and explain to them why what they're saying is ignorant. But all too often they'll get caught up accusing me of being in denial of my lesbianism, and I can't figure out a way to convey that I couldn't care less about who they thought I liked to have sex with, and that the issue was with their internalized bigotry.

Any suggestions?

I'm a die-hard nudist, and would absolutely love to go enjoy a day at the beach with like-minded people. However, I haven't yet been to a nudist/naturist beach for one main reason: spectators. The men or women who I'm fearful of running into who've just come to ogle the naked people, who don't hold to the 'nude is not lewd' philosophy and think there's something inherently sexual about the exposed body. I'm also a bit worried about getting harassed by the male variety of those types; I'm female, and if that handful of disrespectful men think it's fine to sexually harass me when I'm walking down the street in sweats, god knows what those of the same ilk will think they're entitled to do if I'm naked.

For those with experience with nude beaches, how often do you run into spectators? How much of a nuisance are they? How do you deal with them?

I have the unfortunate inclination of wanting to cure the whole goddamn world. I'll spend hours finding ways to fight sexism, homophobia, racism, transphobia, ableism, fat hatred, rape culture, religious discrimination...the list goes on and on. And in the course of this, I inevitably run into a lot of sexists and homophobes and transphobes...etc, etc. And because I dedicate so much time and energy to fighting against that sort of stuff, running into it so much literally depresses me.

I need something that restores my faith in humanity. Givesmehope.com is a good example. Anything else along those lines would be much appreciated. Just general bits and pieces of love, acceptance, tolerance...all the stuff I'm struggling to establish as the norm.

Thanks in advance.

So, I'm planning on making a habit of stopping by the Fred Phelps protests whenever they come around where I live to dress funny, sing nonsense songs, and hold up signs promoting myself as an ally of GLB folks/pointing out how stupid the Westboro Baptist Church is.

They use the phrase 'fag enabler' to describe someone who's not homosexual, but supports homosexuality. I like the idea of turning the phrase back on them and declaring myself a fag enabler with pride via a cardboard sign or something, but I don't want to offend all the gays and bisexuals who might wander by.

So forgive my ignorance and privilege blindness, but in that context, would the word 'fag' be too offensive to use?

As in you, the answerer, specifically. Not some ambiguous theoretical 'you'.

Two gender-queer (one transgender and one pangender) friends of mine say they identify as they do because it just feels natural for them to have a gender that is different than their born sex. I realized that I didn't really have any sense of being male or female, masculine or feminine...I just am.

I asked about determining one's own gender in the GLBT section, and one guy said he felt the same way, not really having any distinction of his own gender. He was the only answer I got from someone who didn't identify as transgender themselves, so I decided to come here and ask a wider range of people: are you transgender? How do you identify yourself as male or female?

This is aimed primarily at those who are gender-queer themselves, but anyone else who wants to toss in an opinion that doesn't accuse gender-queer people of being abominations is welcome to.

A while ago, a friend of mine came out to me as pangender. No big deal, as he was already out to everyone and he was just mentioning it to me because gender and orientation came up in conversation, but it made me put some serious consideration into my own gender.

He, as well as another transgender friend of mine, said that it just felt right, that it seemed like the natural way they were supposed to be. I've never really had any sense of gender. I've gone by female because I'm biologically female, but I'll often get mistaken for a feminine guy and it just doesn't matter to me. I don't worry about whether people perceive me as masculine or feminine, male or female...I just am, and whatever they want to call me is fine.

My own gender is such a non-issue for me, as I mentioned above; I care so little that I don't mind if everyone just sees me as a cisgendered female, even if I turn out not to be. But if there's some way to be more certain about it, rather than muddling about in confusion, that'd be convenient.

Whenever someone asks the ever-popular 'Why is a promiscuous guy a stud, and a promiscuous lady a slut?' question, three answers are predominant amongst the slut-shamers:

1) 'If a key opens a lot of locks, it's a master key. If a lock is opened by a lot of keys, it's a sh1tty lock.' Bravo, you've copypasta'd a clever metaphor! But wait! Are you saying that women are for some reason obligated to lock out men? That it's the duty of men to unlock as many women as possible? This really isn't an answer, it's just another way of saying 'Men having a lot of sex is good, women having a lot of sex is bad!' Not helping.

2) 'Almost any woman who wants sex can get it fairly easily, so it's not challenging at all. But women are less likely to just have sex with any man, so men really have to put some effort into getting laid.' So, let me get this straight: it's bad for women to have a lot of sex because it's EASY for them to have sex? You know what's easier for men to do? Running. Because of the way womens' hips form, men have a small base advantage when it comes to speed and distance. By the logic of the above excuse, men should be walking except when it's absolutely necessary for them to run, while women should be sprinting in circles just to prove they can.

3) 'Men have evolved to try and have as many young as possible, while women have evolved to be choosier.' Do you know what evolution also designed? Sex. For procreation. And god knows that not many people these days have sex solely for the sake of making kids. Anyway, just because evolution says so doesn't mean we need to adhere to outdated instincts.

Also, in case anyone decides to toss out that it's bad for one's mental health:

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2009/1...

Yeah, there's a recent study by the University of Minnesota that shows that casual sex isn't bad for one's mental health if you're ok with having casual sex, regardless of gender or orientation.

So, with those ludicrous answers ruled out, does anyone have some legitimate reasoning? I honestly don't understand.

I know this probably isn't the first time this question has been asked. But I was just hanging around and looking out a window, watching the rain, and realized that I am truly happy. And I was wondering how many other people are, at this moment, genuinely happy.

I'm not sure why I'm happy; things aren't perfect or anything, I just feel like life is good, even if it isn't. But screw it, I'll be a hypocrite and ask: why or why not?

I was recently reading through a series on groping on the Washington City Paper's website (http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/topics/groping/... and was appalled by the estimated numbers of gropings (no, the stats aren't warped; WCP is damn reliable). I've dealt with it occasionally myself, but I thought it was just the occasional pervert and that I'd been unlucky to have it happen to me as often as it has. Turns out there are more pervs and guys-who-like-to-piss-off-chicks than I thought.

Thoughts?

...intelligent discussion (I know, it's a rare breed), or to troll?

Answer, then check the other answers for anyone you recognize. If you think they're telling the truth, thumb-up them. If you think it's BS, thumbs down.

And yes, I know thumb-upping people gets them a point. Let's encourage honesty, shall we?

Forgive my youthful ignorance, but I assume that actually happened, at least here and there, since it's become such an iconic phrase for describing feminist movements at the time.

Why?

I mean, I'm not exactly well-endowed, so I could go bra-less no problem and would actually enjoy it, since they serve almost no purpose for me other than keeping my nipples from sticking through. But I have a friend who can't even take long showers without her back starting to ache.

http://www.holysmoke.org/fem/fem0286.htm

What comes to your mind when you read this? Thoughts, emotions, opinions, whatever.

It really gets my goat, if you'll pardon the out-of-date expression. I mean, I suppose I can sorta see the logic for posting a question on Y!A, as it makes it more noticeable (with the side effect of pissing people off, but hey). But I'll see stuff on Facebook like, "omg i love yourr hair curlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" or "partyy tonnitttte" And ya know, it's not just stuff 'like' that, those are copy-pasted, and not the only incidents. What the hell are they doing?

What are your arguments against polygamy? Understand that I'm talking about the legal right for someone to have multiple spouses, whether it be one man with multiple wives, one woman with multiple husbands, one man with multiple husbands, one woman with multiple wives, or a man or woman with multiple spouses of mixed gender. This also includes the potential for two people who are married to eachother to also have another spouse or multiple other spouses each.

Except for that, the other fundamentals of marriage would remain essentially the same. Though the history of polygamy is associated with these things, I'm not referring to anything involving marriage by force or child brides (I tried to talk about this with a family member, and they kept repeating how child brides would need to be given the same rights as adults despite me saying multiple times that that was irrelevant).

For the weaponry nuts: what's the most comprehensive encyclopedia of general gun knowledge you've seen?

I'm assuming it is relatively healthy to eat it, as it'll prevent harm to the lungs and throat from smoke inhalation...but I admit, I don't understand most of what goes on with it on a chemical level. Would anyone mind a few bullet points on the long-term harmful effects of smoking that don't occur from ingestion, vice versa, and harmful effects that occur for both?

Cited sources are appreciated!

Seriously, I go through a crazy amount of liners, and have to really lay down the sawdust if I so much as french my boyfriend for more than a few minutes. It's damn inconvenient, and it makes it so I have to change pads/tampons really frequently on my period because of all the excess discharge.

I've met women (and even a few men) who rage over the idea of any woman being a generic housewife. While I can understand why most consider it a bad thing for all women to have to fill that stereotypical gender role, it's not as if there aren't some women who are happy in that occupation, and it's not as if that role is any less important!

Does anyone here have the views I'm arguing against? Could you please clarify?