Deity of Peace

This is in relation to a woman losing her job with Citi Bank, pretty much because she was 'too hot'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNXXCY69qO8

What do you guys think about what you've watched in this video?

"Why does society applaud a girl who falls for a guy’s ‘big blue eye’s’ yet denounces one who chooses to marry a man with a ‘big green bankroll’? After all, isn’t earning power more a reflection of a man’s values and character?"

This is the concept of a book written by Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake, tilted ‘Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream and How They’re Paying For It”.

http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Girls-Marry-Money-Drea...

I thought this would be an interesting topic, sense some of the male posters here tend to bring this forward often. This book supposedly challenges the ideas and assumption that women have ‘blindly’ accepted about love and marriage, while demonstrating how they’ve done so at their own economic peril. It taps into the growing, and collective suspicion that the post feminist world isn’t as cracked up as it’s through to be. And that female ‘empowerment’ has women working hard to look sexier than ever, while carrying more than their fare share of financial responsibility. Yet, we still earn less than our male counterparts, and suffer far more economically when our marriages fail. Again, this is the synopsis for the book (not my personal statement, and you can read it in the detailed description of the book).

I just want to know what do you guys think?

Should we seek more financially stable mates who’re economically capable of taking care of our needs?

Or should we hold true to the ‘Prince Charming’ ideals that have been instilled in our psychic in regards to a potential mate since birth?

Is there anything wrong with marrying a man who financially 'well off'?

I came across this article while assisting with open source research for a paper a friend of mine is writing in his sociology class. And it just so happens to cover the 'hot topic' of debate that was raged yesterday that focused heavily on 'date rape'. Although I was able to find a plethora of links and websites that described the many drugs used to seduce incoherent women (and men); I figured I would post this here for all of you to see and possibly weigh in on what you think about the context and possible proof in the website.

I ask that ALL OF YOU try very hard to be non-bias in your views and answer as honestly (respectfully) as possible; and respect the fact that someone here may have had an experience with date rape, or know someone who has. Remember, the same as its happened to someone elses loved one, it can happen to YOU or someone close to you.

http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/20...

I've always wondered why specific users here waste so much time and energy trying to do what every they can to 'highlight' the evils of the opposite sex. Example focusing on a small population of women who use their looks to get what they want or only date men who have money. Or even making male chauvinist and adulterers the main topic of discussion.

I ask, what does anyone here gain by making the obvious downfalls of some people who belong to a specific sex apparent? Constantly re-visiting previously discussed topics and heavily debated topics over and over again.

And what's the point in the promotion of the division between the sexes in this forum? Isn't that some of the main refinances that some of you have with feminist/MRA?

Some friends of mine and I where having a night out after a stressful day at work. Over drinks we stated talking about life, love and relationships; until one of the guys made a very interesting comment. He stated his current relationship is on the rocks because she pretty much 'won't shut up'. He said she's always nagging about what he does and doesn't do and he's thinking about leaving. Now this guy is a pretty boy that changes women like underwear; and as long as I've known him, he's never had one woman (that he was faithful too) past 6 months. But, he also states that women in general don't know how to communicate our feelings effectively and that men can't 'read our minds'.

Being the analyst I am, I posed the question "what do you want her to do?" Do you want her to tell you whats wrong or just shut up? I've noticed that some men want their women to talk too them, but then they don't wanna hear anything she has to say.

My question to some of you guys here (both men and women) what would be your solutions to this 'problem'? I understand that there is a difference between talking to someone about an issue you feel needs to be addressed vs. simply nagging about everything wrong. But where do some men (not all) draw the line between simply sitting down and talking to their women; or simply ignoring anything she has to say because he personally don't feel there's a problem?

Why is it that when any woman here disagrees with some of the postings that some men make here we're called 'stupid', 'illogical' and irrational'? Not all of the guys here do it, but I've noticed the more staunch and aggressive male posters here resort to calling female posters here out their names when we fail to see your logic that's based loosely upon your personal opinions (that some of you pass as being fact).

No matter what anyone says here, or what laundry list of issues you personally feel are being addressed, many of you have to understand that everyone here is going to have a variant of opinions, ideologies and thoughts on some of these issues based on what he/she has experienced in life. Our experiences in life is what assist us with forming our own conclusions. So we as women are not going to agree with you guys on everything for the simple fact that we're women!! Our life experiences, our ideas, thoughts and emotions are different from yours, so we won't agree with one another 100% of the time. But not agreeing doesn't make any of us idiotic, illogical, irrational, or 'stupid'.

I happened to be flipping through the channels, when I saw the current ‘issue’ with the John and Kate Gosslin family (I think I spelled it right). And I saw where (if I’m not mistaken) it’s official that they’ve separated and he’s now dating his former wife’s once close friend. And I stated to ask the question, what would make a man or woman walk away from years of union with someone they once classified as being their soul mate (after establishing a family) to live the single life again.

I asked a co-worker tell the story of how he separated from his wife of 15 years and 3 kids. He explained he somehow felt ‘trapped’ and unable to breath. He stated that he felt as if he’d lost himself and his identity by spending more time at cheerleader and football practices, going to school functions and spending quality time with a woman he felt he no longer knew. He said that he started acting out on these feelings of selflessness and had flings with other women and spent money on major purchases without consulting his wife. Needless to say he had to sell everything he purchased, is now paying child support and living in a one bedroom apartment.

And I’ve seen women do this too, a friend of mine stated that his mother just up and took a trip to the Bahamas’ without telling anyone where she was going. She reasoning when she returned home was that she ‘needed some me time’. Now she and his father are divorced (but they live in the same neighborhood, things that make you go huh?)

Why do you guys think people reach a stage in their lives where they feel as if the life they live now is not the life they’re meant to live? Could it be that they regret making the choices they’ve made in life or could it be that they fear they’re missing out on the happiness they once thought they had?

If you don't mind answering, what is your definition of a 'mid-life' crisis?

I've had a few conversations with some friends of both sexes about dating/marriage, in relation to being single. And many of them have convinced themselves that it's difficult to find someone that doesn't bring some intense degree of insanity into their lives. I personally believed that statements like this being made from both 'sides of the fence' signals that the real issue is a problem that most singles have with comfortability. Meaning finding the courage to step outside of their comfort-zone by letting their guard down and letting someone in.

Many of them went on to state (which lead to a heated debate) that they can't find someone who lives up to their expectations, which when read was an elaborate maze of 'do's and don'ts' for anyone who was thinking about giving them a chance at love. The women stated that they can't find a man to stay faithful, keep a job, and handle their responsibility. Taking care of the needs, wants and desires of their families. and on the flip side of that, the men stated that they can't find a woman who's 'freaky' enough, will stay in the 'perfect shape' the way they like her (regardless of child birth) or a woman who's 'traditional' (as we often argue about here).

No matter what the concerns with demands that where not being met, I couldn't help but ask these single people if the demands they'd placed on a potential mate maybe the reason why many of them where still single?

For me personally, no matter the hard exterior that any man or woman tries to wear to block themselves from being vulnerable to a 'no good man' or 'conniving woman', when our arguments, concerns, and questions have all been addressed, we all 'need love'. I believe that our anatomy, our minds, and hearts have made us this way (regardless of race, sex, sexual orientation, social class and/or religion).

With that being said, what do you guys think? Do you think that maybe the 'standards' we place on the men/women we want in life, to spend the rest of our lives with is what leads us to reject anyone who doesn't fit that perfect list of expectations?

A friend of mine and I where talking during a social gathering about the dynamics what makes a ‘healthy marriage’. And for the most part we agreed that a successful (or happy) marriage pretty much means that the needs, wants and desires of each individual engaged in a union are met (or compromised) by their spouse. But he made a comment that intrigued me, by stating that “Some women just don’t know how to let a man be a man; and that’s why so many are lonely”. Puzzled, I asked “what exactly must a woman do to allow a ‘man to be a man’”.

He smiles and states his views by openly stating a woman should know when to let a man make the decisions, when to speak with him about certain issue and when to pretty much ‘shut up’ about it (stop nagging). And he feels that women of today should simply cater to their mans needs (i.e. the home cooked meals, sex when he’s in the mood; doing what he likes to do, and letting him hang with the fellas with out any lip) because if she doesn’t, another ‘sideline’ woman will. Of course I was a bit confused (and a little livid) by his description; but I ‘let him be a man’ and explain himself. Playing devils advocate I posed the question, “So when does a man let a ‘woman be a woman’ and were does the compromise come into play when catering to a loved ones needs?” Meaning what does the man do for his woman in return to allow her to ‘be a woman’?

I would like to know, from the users here; when does compromise on a woman’s (or mans) behalf to ‘let a man be a man’ crosses over from

A. Allowing him/her to play his/her supposed role in a relationship/engagement/marriage

To

B. Simply allowing a man or woman to ‘walk over’ you and do what ever he/she feels like doing?

I have a male friend who’s experiencing some difficulties with his ex-wife. He met this woman through a close friend of his, whom she was dating at the time. She ended up cheating on her boyfriend (his friend) with him while his friend was over seas in the Navy. Well, when everything came out, they got married and had a kid (boy). But, they where soon divorced after about 2 years of marriage, and they’re now remarried to someone else (both with a kid). So their son between the two of them has a half brother and half sister (Makes your head spin huh?).

His ex-wife is completely ‘psycho’ and she’s doing what ever she can to make his life a living hell. She’s even manipulated the father of her second child into the mix and has him talking bad about my friend to his son and the child he has with her (this is the woman second husband). But! she’s now cheating on her second husband with his friend on the side (a real class act). This woman is in no short supply of men to use for money, gifts, clothes; you name it; because she uses what she’s got to get what she wants. My friend explained to me that he knew his ex was a little ‘off the rockers’ when he first met her; but because her sex was ‘outstanding’ as he put it, he hooked up with her. Now he stuck with child support and child custody battles. I asked him how he married such an ‘outstanding’ woman, and the only answer he could give me was “because she was hot”.

I thought about the constant debates we have here in regards to divorce, child custody, and abortion and I have too ask the question; do you guys here feel that many of the men who’re in my males friends situation are:

A. Victims of the court systems and not having birth rights over their unborn child? Because he claimed he didn’t want his son, but she decided to have the child anyway.

B. Victims of poor choices and not fully thinking things through before acting on impulse?

Ladies, would you get involved with a man who has such drama in his past with his ex?

I'm in the process of trying to start a small DJ company called "Sheba Rocks". Well, that's one of the names I'm looking at. And it will be a group of female DJ's in the Washington D.C., Northern VA area. But I want to open up a studio in the Northern VA area for recording and to house the business. What should I do? Where should I start?

I don't know who to contact about a small business loan (much less if I even qualify with my low credit score and I don't know how to acquire the equipment and realestate I will need to get things going.

I recently had discussion with a person in another blog that I post to in regards to women ‘sharing’ their men with other women. And the person in question stated that they know of various women who have an allotted “time slot” to share with their boyfriend (knowingly) before he makes his rounds to his other girlfriends. Although this ‘sharing’ concept is nothing new; the reasoning’s that the user gave was that ‘because there’s a shortage of men who’re heterosexual (with a job), educated, no criminal record or various baby mama’s, and disease free, we (meaning all women) should be willing to spend time with any man willing to spend time with us’. This user felt the need to ‘enlighten’ me by stating that women who’re unwed needed to ‘get with the program’ and understand that

A. A man will be a man and will probably cheat regardless if he’s married or not because it’s in his nature (in which I agree and disagree with, because not all men cheat).

B. There’s nothing wrong with sharing man because “It’s just sex” (never mind your health being compromised)

C. Women now days need to “get off their high horse and realize that most of the good men are taken, so settle for what ever we can get”.

This was the actual dialog that transpired between this user and myself. So I wanted to ask the posters of GWS, what do you guys think of women who settle for anything (even willing to ‘share’) in order say they have a man? Do you think the pressures society places on a woman to be in a relationship with a man is what leads these women to settle for ‘sharing’; or is it just a lack of self-esteem that leads them to believe this is the only type of relationship that women of today will be able to engage in?

A co-worker of mine informed me of a debate that was being held on a local radio station. Where the topic of discussion was centered upon the changing roles of men and women in today’s work force. An interesting listener phoned in and stated that he was married with kids, but he’d was not unemployed after 12 years and was forced to stay at home and perform “womanly duties”. In his mind, womanly duties only consisted of washing the dishes only (because he refused to do anything else).

Now, his wife is still employed, and her income is what’s supporting the family. But he felt that even though she still works, it’s still her responsibility (as a woman) to come home from an 8 sometimes 10 hour work day, clean house, prepare the meals (in which he must eat first); take care of the kids and perform for him sexually prior to going to bed. When asked why he felt that way, he stated that:

“As a man, it’s not my responsibly to change dippers, cook, clean and wash clothes or even sweep the floors. She’s a woman, that’s her job. If she wants to work that’s fine, but she’s not to neglect her ‘duties’ as a wife and a mother. I’ll wash the dishes, and maybe take out the trash, but that’s about it”

Would some of you men here put your wives in that position, or would you help out around the house?

Ladies, would you allow your husbands to place soul responsibility of providing for the family and taking care of the household on your shoulders?

As I read some of the postings here in regards to feminist logic vs. parent hood; I have to ask a few questions of some of the posters here; because I’m a little confused. It seems that many of you are under the impression that it’s mostly a woman’s ‘duty’ per say to respectfully stay at home with the kids. And I have to wonder, what makes most of you guys (both men and women) assume that as women our main (primary) functions as beings is to:

A.Stay at home and take care of household (cooking and cleaning) and having children?

B.Have children all together (where does it state that I as a woman has to have kids)?

C.We as women have to be supported by our husbands? Why in your opinion is it ‘wrong’ for a woman to work?

D.Why is it not acceptable for a father to assist with household chores or be a stay at home father?

I would like for someone to explain to me (based on their own opinions) how helps or hurts a child if it’s not raised by a stay at home mother specifically.

What’s wrong with a father assisting in taking care of their kids and what’s wrong with a woman working if she has children?

And if you have time, how do you feel about single parents (both mothers and fathers) playing the role of stay at home mother/father while still working as a full time employee?

I just have a question for some of the regulars in this forum. Why is it that when any female who visits this forum disagrees with the comments, complaints and concerns addressed by others; it’s assumed that we’re a feminist?

I personally feel that this forum is open to any issues concerning gender that we as individuals would like to discuss. And I personally have no qualms with feminist as a whole. If that's what anyone wants to be that's there business. But why is it that if we as women don’t fit into the ‘norm’ of what some men and women here think a woman should be, or if we don’t agree on certain topics, we’re automatically judged as being a man-hating, angry, fat, ugly, haggard feminist?

I’ve noticed that the majority of the arguments both for and against feminism are mostly founded on the basis of what’s ‘traditional’. For example, engaging in the traditional marriage where I’m the stay at home mother and my husband is the hardworking father’. I’ve noticed that a few people don’t have a problem with a woman becoming employed as long as she’s employed in ‘traditionally female’ (secretary, waitress, and nurse) vs. ‘traditionally male’ occupations (carpenter, fire fighter, or pilot).

Many argue that ALL feminist have become radicals in enforcing their ideas of breaking the mold and forcing men to accept women into roles that are ‘non-traditional’ (i.e. accepting women into the police force, or accepting women CEO’s). And the sales pitch for most anti (or non-feminist) is that all feminist take equality to the extreme in advocating what a woman’s role in life can (or should be) based on how she feels she should live it and not what society dictates she should become.

So I ask the question, where is it stated in writing that I have to adhere to preconceived expectations for my life and possibly my well being?

Am I wrong for wanting to be successful in my current occupation as an IT Specialist; and not filling the role of a stay at home mother?

Or am I right for following my heart and becoming what I chose to be in life (as expected and respected by my fellow man)?

Where exactly is my role as a woman stated, and who decides if I’m following the guidelines placed before me? (Please, give references if possible).

You don’t have to answer every question, I just had a few thoughts that I wanted to share and get some feedback on. All answers are welcome.

I've had many experiences through out my life that I would consider to be racial and sexual discrimination. I've had many people of all races call me out my name, as well as many men feel as though I'm inferior based on my sex.

But during these trials, I've learned that many people who don't like me based solely on my sex or the color of my skin are people who either fear my capabilities may exceed their expectations set for me; or don't they don't care to really know me as an individual.

With all the hate that I see preached in these forums (this one in particular) do you as a person who thinks for yourself feel as though we as the human race will reach a day when we accept people for who they are and what they look like? Do you think that we'll start getting to know one another as time marches on, or will we continue to stay set in a closed minded society that judges others based on the color of their skin and sex?

I see a lot of negative mixed with a few positive postings about our next Commander and Chief set to be swore in on Tuesday. Some people are happy and look forward to his presidency, and others are outraged and disappointed. So I would like to ask the question of many who visits Y!A, what is it that you like or dislike about Obama? Has his story and journey to the White House inspired you, or pissed off so to speak? I would also like examples to back your statement if possible. Thank you all and god bless.

Some co-workers of mine and I where talking today about inter-racial dating. And one of the guys I work with (who's white) happens to prefer black women. Every girlfriend or 'booty call' he's ever had has been with a black woman. On the other hand, there's a black guy I work with who dates women who're other than black. He's never dated, 'hooked up' with, or made out with a black woman (nor does he prefer too). My white friend told me that he's always liked (or loved) black women, but there was a time in his life when he was afraid to talk to one, much less let his friends/family see him with one.

I guess my questions to the White men (or European men)

Do you as a man find black woman attractive and would you date one of us?

Have you dated any black women in the past?

Could you see yourself married to a Black woman?

I know there are some white men who would, I have friends who're married too them, I would just like to see some answers from some of the users here. Good night and God bless.

I've noticed that when issues of race are discussed in public, in the work place or within the media, at times some of my White (or Caucasian to be politically correct) colleagues feel uncomfortable addressing the issues. What I mean by addressing the issues, I'm referring to the controversy surrounding our next Commander and Chief and the role his election will play in American history; the images of African Americans being portrayed in the entertainment industry, and yes; the history of Segregation and Slavery.

Now, this is not a personal attack, and I understand that such issues become old news (such as Slavery) and I understand that at times many Whites feel as if many modern day African Americans are taking their frustration in life out on them as a race.

But I want to know how do my White brothers and sisters feel about the race relations between black people, immigrants, as well as other Europeans and themselves? Do you feel that America does the White man an injustice by portraying him as being 'the enemy' of non-whites? And how do you personally feel about people of color?