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Hi guys,

Need some advice.

My boyfriend promised a month ago that he would like to take me to London to see the fire works for New Years Eve as i have never been before during new year.

He made me confirm with my family that its ok and that they don't mind as normally i spend new years eve with them. This will be the first new years me and my boyfriend will spend together whilst we have been together during the two years.

My boyfriend mentioned yesterday that his cousin that's disabled wants to come along during new year, because he doesn't drive, he wants to come with us in the car as he doesn't have anybody else to celebrate with. Now when my boyfriend told me he would like to come, i got very annoyed because i feel uncomfortable been around other men, his friends speak english but in front of me they will talk to my boyfriend in their language and i get very bored because i don't understand the conversations. Also it will be a 3-4 hour drive, sitting in the car with people i don't no that well and i wont be able to relax and fall asleep in the car. My boyfriend told me he wont take him, then today he tells me his other friend would like to come with us and he was questioning me if it would be ok if he comes. My boyfriend said don't worry when we get there he can do what he likes he doesn't have to be next to us and stay with us. But obviously in a busy city he isn't going to wonder off. I told my boyfriend that i feel like there's more than 2 people in the relationship and he said no i would just like them to come as its nice to have people around not just me and you on our own all the time. So now i feel as if im boring and i feel bad because hes telling them that hes not going. So that now it will just be me and him. I feel so bad for saying i don't ike them coming, but he doesn't see the problem. But if they were to come i would feel sad as if im a boring person to be with and that he never likes alone time with me. Even when we go to restaurant's or cinema, he wants his friends to come along too. When i talk to him about it we always get in an argument. I dunno what to do, what shall i do??? its tomorrow and i feel abit lost and not sure what to do, please help????? i just don't want to make him feel sad and i don't want to feel like a nasty person :-(

Hi guys,

Need some advice.

My boyfriend promised a month ago that he would like to take me to London to see the fire works for New Years Eve as i have never been before during new year.

He made me confirm with my family that its ok and that they don't mind as normally i spend new years eve with them. This will be the first new years me and my boyfriend will spend together whilst we have been together during the two years.

My boyfriend mentioned yesterday that his cousin that's disabled wants to come along during new year, because he doesn't drive, he wants to come with us in the car as he doesn't have anybody else to celebrate with. Now when my boyfriend told me he would like to come, i got very annoyed because i feel uncomfortable been around other men, his friends speak english but in front of me they will talk to my boyfriend in their language and i get very bored because i don't understand the conversations. Also it will be a 3-4 hour drive, sitting in the car with people i don't no that well and i wont be able to relax and fall asleep in the car. My boyfriend told me he wont take him, then today he tells me his other friend would like to come with us and he was questioning me if it would be ok if he comes. My boyfriend said don't worry when we get there he can do what he likes he doesn't have to be next to us and stay with us. But obviously in a busy city he isn't going to wonder off. I told my boyfriend that i feel like there's more than 2 people in the relationship and he said no i would just like them to come as its nice to have people around not just me and you on our own all the time. So now i feel as if im boring and i feel bad because hes telling them that hes not going. So that now it will just be me and him. I feel so bad for saying i don't ike them coming, but he doesn't see the problem. But if they were to come i would feel sad as if im a boring person to be with and that he never likes alone time with me. Even when we go to restaurant's or cinema, he wants his friends to come along too. When i talk to him about it we always get in an argument. I dunno what to do, what shall i do??? its tomorrow and i feel abit lost and not sure what to do, please help????? i just don't want to make him feel sad and i don't want to feel like a nasty person :-(

Im the biggest worrier you would ever meet. I always have to have something to think and worry about. I care about my friends and family alot. Im getting very frustrated with my boyfriend, hes having family problems where his mom may be splitting up with his dad back home in iraq. So my boyfriend is constantly on the phone to them as he is so farr away from them. I feel like i care too much and want to see that hes ok all the time. We have been together nearly 2years now and i feel like i care more than what he does and i cant help it, hes on my mind day and night, 24hours. I always wonder what hes doing and want to keep contacting him. I get jealous when he talks to his friends and family. I dont know why. I feel like alot of the time its always me calling people weather its friends, my boyfriend or my family first to see if they are ok. But do i ever get anything in return sometime, maybe a call first just to see if im ok? ....and the answer to that is NO!...If i disappeared off the earth i dont even think anybody would know. Even my boyfriend i tried to talk to him about it and he bit my head off and told me to shut up. He said im sick of arguing with you, i always jump in my sleep and wake up because im thinking too much. Im always making mistakes and its because of you, i never use to be like it. .. What do i do. I cant help the way i am. I have just been brought up that way, my parents are the same. We are just born to worry. I go to work and i always have things on my mind. Even i talk to my boyfriend just and he shouts at me and told me to stop argueing, when basically im just telling him im feeling down and saying it in a nice way, and he tells me hes getting off the phone to me and puts the phone down. Gosh am i that bad of a person. I feel really put down. What do i do, im always feeling depressed and crying ??????????????

Basically been with my boyfriend two years,hes originally from Kurdistan in iraq. He has a different way of living, but i love him and he does make me happy. We do ague alot and he can also make me cry alot, over silly things. Anyway My boyfriend text me today, half an hour before i finished work asking me to go round his flat, to eat. When i got out side flat i called him and he was still at work which is over the road from his flat. Hes a mechanic. I told him i was near his flat and because he was still working, i said where shall i wait, and he snapped at me and said " I DONT KNOW EITHER WAIT OUT SIDE BY MY DOOR FOR ME OR GO HOME" I then said oh so you want me to go home and you dont want to see me ok, thats fine. He then said "do what you LIKE I DONT have time for this im still at work" I put the phone down on him, within 20mins i text him saying why do you treat me like a donkey im sick of it. He then called me up after he had finished asking why i text silly things. I told him i was on my way home. We argued and he put the phone down, i tried calling him all evening and he never picked up my calls and never answered the door to me when i came to his flat. I dont understand why hes been like this, one min hes ok the next he goes angry. Is it my fault, do you think i should not call or text him, i keep thinking maybe he might want me to chase him. What do i do im so upset he just wont answer me... I really love him but i just cant have this all the time where he has mood swings. what do i do people???????? i need advice for when he does contact me

My boyfriend came in my house for the first time today. He came in my bedroom. My bedroom is black and white with silver, my wardrobes are all black with my plasma tv on the wall. I made sure that my room was tidy and clean, i actually thought my bedroom looked really nice, and even when people come they always tell me how nice it is. My boyfriend was just telling me how nice his brothers bedroom was and that he doesnt like the layout of my bedroom. He then asked where i got my wardrobes from. It was weird how one min he was slagging off how he doesnt like my bedroom and then was saying about his brother bedroom, trying to tell me how much better it is than mine. Why do that ?????

Hi guys,

Went out with a guy this time last year we recently split up in december. We kept argueing and getting paranoid with each other. He finished me because i never trusted him, the reason was, i use to get told Kurdish/ muslim men cheat on girls and treat them like a piece of meat. I want to get over him, I wish he would go back to his own country, thats how much i never want to see his face again. I dont ever want to see him with a new women because that would just break my heart so bad. I dont know what to do any more, he keeps popping up in my mind, I just feel like going to his house or calling him up. I have tried to get out and see my friends alot but even after he still pops up in my mind. I have even been on another date recently with a guy i like but i still dont feel the same, because we both came out of hard relationships, and we both really got heart broken. So im stuck i just wish i would forget about him. But also wish i was the only girl in the world. Guys why am i like this??????? any ideas what i can do?????????????????

Met a guy a year ago at the local swimming centre. We talk alot. I Found out that he goes to a gym my older brother goes to, and they both know each other to say hello to. Me and this guy last year both came out of relationships were we both got treated bad. He is always complementing me telling me that i always look nice. The one day he added me as a friend on Facebook, we spoke alot on there, then the one time we exchanged numbers. W have started to text quit often. There has been a few times when he has asked if he could come with me to walk my dog by his house by a canal. There has been times and he has asked to go to a resturant and to go for a drink, hes brought up about me and him should go to the cinema.

Last night we went for a drink,he was telling me that he feels like hes getting to the age were he wants to settle down with a lady and soon have children in a few years. He was saying as an example if me and him were to have children. Which i dont know if that was hinting. Then before i was telling him i want to move out from my parents and get my own place. I made a joke saying i would do all his house work, he said honestly i would love you to move in, i would let you. Obviously we both knew that wouldnt happen, but he was saying that he would like it.

I dont understand how i stand with him i feel as if we are just friends, we have never got close up to each other, we are both shy, i dont know if thats the reason and hes trying to get to know me and trying with me, Or he is just taking me as a friend. I just dont understand were i stand, or how i should take it. But i do really like him alot!!

My ex kurdish/ iraqi boyfriend , we had been together 1year. Always arguing. We both use to get very jealous over each other and very posessed. We split up nearly every week. Some times we would say nasty things to each other and still get back together. He use to tell me he would need to tell his family about me. One time he would say his family wouldnt accept me if im not in a muslim background. Then he use to tell me they would accept me if i would move to iraq for his parents to bring me up.

Its been a couple of weeks now were we have stopped talking to each other just because a friend of mine and his, who is from iraq/kurdistan aswell is a bad man who trys to split us up. He dropped me home when i was walking down the road and i lied to my ex because if he knew he would go mad. My ex found out and went crazy. Last sunday i went to spain and he went to iraq at the same time. On the saturday after he found out he was asking me if i was ok and if i wanted anything and if i wanted to see im before he went away. which was weird because the day before he was telling me to not contact him.

This week we spoke he told me he arrived safely. Then i got a message saying " did u find a nice man in spain" I never replied because i knew what ever i would say it would turn into an argument. Then the next day he called asking why i never replied to the text, i told him i had no man in my life. He then told me he told his family that i was bad and that i never listened when he told me to keep away from that friend and i went and got in his car. APPARENTLY his family said i was no good because in the future i may hurt him. Then he told them that I never trust him. He told me to carry on with my life. Then 2 days later hes calling me again and then today hes calling again. I asked why hes calling, he said " i just want to see your ok". I do not get him, Why tell his family the bad things, why after 1year is he doing this, why keep calling me and also asking me if i have met a new spanish man. I dont know what to do hes confusing me, All i will say is that man was a friend nothing more, no point telling my ex this because he never listens, I loved my ex so much and i would never cheat on him, and i gave up everything for him, i even converted to islam for him, so his family would accept me. I dont know what to do, i feel lost, what you think People.?????

Hi guys no this sounds really stupied my boyfriend is been really petty because i never cooked for him tonight when his friend came round and i asked his friend if he wanted a drink when apparently i should of said what are you drinking, as he gets shy and would say no thank you. How pathetic!!! Me and my boyfriend kind of just put the phone down on each other, i dont know weather to apologize tomorrow or to let him chase me? I want him to know that he was causing the arguement

Need to learn Kurdish quick, any good internet sites that i could look at? :-)

Met a guy about 5weeks ago through a friend that went to my school. It started when i saw my friend working in a bar, me and another friend went one friday evening. We got talking to my friend, then a guy came over that new my friend that worked behind the bar. He liked me and i liked him, we exchanged numbers. We have met up ever since on the weekends, we text each other most days. But last night i went out with my friend, and he kept texting me asking me to go into the bar where we met, but my friend wanted to go into another bar where her family were. I called him asking if he wanted to see me and told him he was welcome to come to the bar that was down the road from the other bar. Also the friend that i was with last night was my best friend from the age of 6, and i wanted her approval to see what she thought if he was good for me. In the past i have been hurt by my ex and she doesnt want me to get into that mess again. when i called he was saying i dont know, i might. Next thing i saw him with his friend in the bar half an hour later. I went up to him we hugged and spoke. I then introduced my friend to him, he gave her a hug and said nice to meet you. He is Indian and my friend is English. Within 20mins he was joking around because his friend said to my friend that she was a pretty girl. Then i asked his friend where his girlfriend was, he then said i will have you and you mr lover can have my girlfriend instead and he then started too laugh, then the guy im seeing said yes we'll swap women. Then said he was only jokin. Then my friend told me he let out a sly coment as a joke saying you need indian inside you. Which to me is very dirty and you dont say that when he was meeting my friend for the first time. I pulled his friend to one side and told him i was not happy what he said. We both looked across to the other side of the bar and saw him talking to some other women that he knew. Then his friend told him " You have a gorgeous girl over there fix up, what are you playing at, the way your going your going to loose her." He then came over saying "why you pissed off babe".I never really answered him because i was so upset i just said nothing, and he said "Well to be honest i dont really care if your pissed off with me i really dont care, so i walked outside. After his friend must of spoken to him again. Then the next thing i turn around and hes asking what wrong im so sorry i never knew you was upset, with what i said to your friend, it was a joke. I then told him "Nothing!!!! dont worry about it i just cant belive what you said to my friend if that was me saying it to your friend you would go crazy at me and probably never talk to me again, you didnt make a good impression infront of my friend for the first time". He then started kissing my head grabbing my hand and telling all my friend how much he loved me and that he wont ever let me down. All night then he was all over me. Today i have had 6 texts messages off him which i have ignored and 5 missed calls. Asking me if i wanted to meet him in the bar and if i was ok and angry with him. I text him back later on saying "sorry been busy at a party", which i was. He has not even text me back now. To be honest i dont need some one thats like that. Because how can i trust him when hes ever out and im not there. Also hes known me 5 weeks and hes going on like were together or a married couple. Hes always telling me he wants us to be together soon, but i dont think i could, im thinking to just leave it with him and not bother. I know hes going to call me names to everyone because i ignored him tonight and for been petty about last night. Do you think im wrong and just been sensitive. ???????????????

Hi guys,

Been with my kurdish boyfriend 1year now. We argue alot and we recently split up, over not trusting.The next day i went to his house and he told me its over for good he cant be with me if i don't trust him and he doesn't trust me. He also doesn't like it when i contact male friends. So i walked away and left him alone. Friday night i went out with my friends to a party, my boyfriend called me and was asking me where i was, i returned "you don't need to no anymore its non of your business im at a party bye". He kept texting me like as if he was paranoid. Then saturday he finished work and called me straight away and could hear i was getting on a train with my friend for the evening and he kept asking where i was. I never told him i just told him i was on the train and i kept ignoring him. Then that evening he called 2-3hours later asking where i was and that he called my parents to ask where i was. When i did ask my parents they told me he never called. Then 2am in the morning he asked me again where are you, i ignored him, then today he told me he knew i was home as when he called me he knew i was in my bedroom light was on as he drove past. Then today he called me and argued then questioned me why i have male friends calling me, then tonight i went to his house, we were fine. Anyway I use to have blonde hair when we first met, i then changed to brown obviously it wouldn't be very good the first time as the blonde is underneath and the brown will be very wishy washy and faded. My boyfriend said to me that you could see the blonde coming through and that it wasn't very nice. Then i decided to go darker so now its dark brown. When i first had it darker my boyfriend said oh my god your hair is really nice its so much better i could even tell he liked it because his eyes litt up. My boyfriend said randomly on the phone tonight. Don't be angry with me but i don't like your hair colour i said why he said i don't no i don't like it and he asked me to go back to the wishy washy colour with the brown and the blonde coming through which i thought was a nasty colour. He then said to me so yes give it a try then. I will be honest since i have gone dark hair my friends and family have all told me how nice it looks with my dark eye colour and that its better than before. What is his problem do you think hes paranoid that i have too much attention from males.? And why tell me he doesn't want me anymore and that he cant be with me. Then friday and saturday night i leave him alone and carry on with my life and its like hes getting jealous about me been out and then calling me in the night to see if im still out. Then today wants us to start fresh. I don't get it?????

I would of been with my kurdish boyfriend 1year this time now. We have recently split up over christmas holidays. He is a decent person but he has 1 problem hes always moody and angry if things dont go his way or if hes stressed out at work. I have to admit i get very paranoid because i love him that much i get scared if anything ever happens, so im always asking if he loves me and if he cares. He works and lives down the road from me so i always no were he is so i can check up on him. He is decent and honest but sometimes the mood swings do drive me mad because he can get snappy. Over new year we split up over the fact that he went to see his family and he left me for ne year. When he ame back i went to see him, and he had a mood swing again so i showed him what i did new year and showed him a picture of me and a male friend in a bar on my phone. He got very angry and was shouting asking who he was, he then tried to accuse me of cheating when the man is a friend that i hav known longer than himself. Since then we havent really got on he keeps arguing with me about silly things. I dont understand for about 3moths now hes always up and down sometimes hes off with me and doesn't really 2 nights ago he was calling me telling me that he wants me to change my phone number and to star listening to him and if im to leave my house i must let him no where im going. We got a little angry on the phone at each other because he kept wanting me to change lots of things. Then last night i contacted him to tell him i went to see a friend he called me and i ignored his call and the 2nd time he called i picked up and he was shouting at me saying leave me alone if you dont pick my callls up why bother just carry on in your life. So last night hes ignored me, why one minute hes trying to contact me and then the next hes been really moody. What do i do to handle it, i know we both love each other too much and we do get jealous of each other but what do i do? shall i wait for him to contact me or do i play him at his game and do the same to him.

I have just come out of a years relationship with my ex boyfriend we broke up a few weeks ago just over me not trusting him for to long, when really my ex was so honest it was just me been paranoid. I have tried to move on and meet up with different men to just take that heart pain away and they have been ok but they are the type of men that dont seem to want to speak to you all the time, and they seem like they have other women, and they only contact you when they want to. Why are all men like this, i really dont like it they all like sex, money, drugs &women. Why cant i find a decent man thats going to love me and treat me right and not be like the rest of the men. I feel so lonely because all my friends seem happily and settled down. Why cant i?

I had a Kurdish/Iraqi Boyfriend since January, We got on so well at first and he become very persessive with me if we fell out after a a couple of hours he would be soon on the phone if i never picked up he would either come out side my house or just constantly keep ringing me. He would be so crazy for me telling me he wanted me to move in with him and to marry him and meet his family in iraq.

The last few months we probably have had an argument every week, because now i would say i have become like how he was with me very persseive and this is because i think i was use to him chasing me. Now hes took a back seat and doesnt chase me. He knows i lov him so much and im crazy for him, and he knows i would always take him back if he was to ask me, or meet me i would.

We have been arguing because i get paranoid that he will cheat on me, the last few months i have been checking his phone while hes been in the shower and there has been times were he has spoken to women, but they dont live in our area they live farr, and there either customers at his garage or from his gym. I have to admit when ever im with him his phone is always on loud never on silent. I never hear calls when im with him and if it is its always a man. He hates it when i dont trust him and because he can be a very moody and angry person due to his job been stressful and his family back home constantly bugging him for money and his dad marrying 3 other annoying women as they can marry up to 4 women. He works 6days a week so i know where hes at its just down the road from were i live. I always make out to him that he never has time for me. I work mon-fri 8:30am - 5pm , he works 8:30 - 6:00pm sometimes 6:30pm Mon-Sat and when i finish at 5 i always ring him saying can i see you hes always saying i havent finished yet. Im always ringing him on my breaks at work while hes busy working, he gets angry with me.

Recently he told me not to text or call him first when he wakes up saying goodmorning and told me when he finishes work he will call me and to just give him time to finish work and maybe take a shower. W tried this plan out and i did notice for the 2days he did call me ater he finished.

Anyways Last week on Thursday he called after work and asked me if i wanted to go round as friday he was going to take christmas presents round to his brothers after work. I went round we were both fine laughing and smiling FOR A CHANGE! istead of arguing. Then he went in the shower and i chcked his phone and saw he had someone asking him to call now i never knew it was a man because it was in arabic. When he came out i asked him can i check your phone please he said what are you doing you can if you want but your making a bad choice im not happy with that at all. I still checked it and i asked who that person was txting he said that it was his cousin from back home, he said call it if you like, and i then left it and put the phone back on the table knowing i did wrong.I then drove me home and didnt talk in the car and that was it, i havent heard from him since Thursday im so worried, i did see him on saturday driving past me but he didnt say or do anything. Normally if i was to be out he would be like where are you going he would soon call me up. Im so worried because by now he would text or call. I dont want to contact him because he knows he can carry on and act the same knowing hes got me rapped round his fingers.

He always said to me it drives him mad if i ask him if hes cheating because its rubbish and i know if hes at work and then after then im normally always with him. He saying theres no point with me and you if were no getting on with each other, and that he can not spend his life with someone like this. He will say we have been together a year now and i still cant trust him and that i should know him by now. He can be very stubben, but to be honest i do have my insecurities but once i ask thats it im fine i am the worlds biggest worrier and i honestly do love him and care so much but i dont think he will give me anymore chances as its been so many now.

he tell me he hates me and that he doesnt love me anymore. But then after he will say he says it because he gets angry and he cant control his temper. He even says that he needs someone thats always going to be smiling and happy even when hes angry, he needs someone thats not going to wind him up. But i didnt even realise i was doing it. Im so upset because i dont know what to do to get him back. And to prove that i can do it aslong as i know that he will be loyal to me. What do i do, its making me feel ill, i cant eat or sleep propley, Hes always on my mind thinking what hes doing. I have even met up with another man to take my mind off it, just in a friendly way to get advise and it still doesnt seem to work. I know sometimes when we were together he use to make me tell him where i was going and i would have to go to the mosque to learn islam, what do i do?????????????????

Salam Alaikom sisters,

Need help with islam religion i am learning on a sunday at a mosque in my town, i need some advise on how muslim women should be in life.

I have just set up skype if any sisters are on skype please can you drop your skype name to me so i can talk, i dont have facebook or twitter

Shoo kran :-)

Been with my kurdish boyfriend 11months now. We argue Alot!! We always end up breaking up and then getting back with each other after we say nasty things about each other. We both do love each other alot but i think we both get jealous of each other. Before we use to see each other every day and we did notice we were arguing more and this is the reasons why,

I ring him at 8am soon as he wakes up

I ring him on my lunch break while hes still working, hes a mechanic and can get very busy so he never knows when his lunch break is

Ring him after work at 5 while hes sometimes stil working till 6:30pm

If i do go to his i always end up arguing with him about if he loves me or why he doesn't show much care.

Basically i always say he doesnt call me text me much anymore and that he always never has time for me. He always tells me that hes working 6days a week and as its his brothers garage he has to work hard as he has the big responsabilites. He always gets angry when i say u dont love me, are you cheating on me, why do you never contact me its always me calling. It always ends up with us breaking up. Tonight we spoke and he said im not promising you that we will be together forever because we just argue i give you too many chances and you just make things worse, i need someone thats always smiling and happy not someone thats always making trouble. He said he wish that we were together forever but at the moment he cant see it happening he said i will never change. Hes now told me that hes not going to be really close with me yet until he sees that it will work. So now im thinking that i need to not contact him so much and if i go to see him i need to keep my mouth shut from bad things and i need to stop been paranoid about him, when he is such an honest person. What do i do hes on my mind day and night always getting paranoid over silly things, I just wish i could get it so were back on track again and no more arguing, i do have to realise that my boyfriend does sometimes have bad days at work and can get moody and tired when he gets home. It makes me feel so sad i just want us to be happy again and i know it can work. What do i do and am i not giving him space to breathe ??????????

what would make you a hypocrite to god . Only answer if you believe in god!

My boyfriends in a bad mood because i was tired he carried me to bed and he went in the kitchen to finish my cooking talking to his cousin on the skype. I walk in the kitchen after 10mins because of the noise. And tell him i cant sleep all i can hear is you. Wasnt been funny but i was a little groggy but isnt everyone when their tired. My boyfriend wouldnt talk to me all night and was been grumpy, he dropped me home and drove off speeding and skidded his car at the bottom of the road and then when he got home i called him and he was moaning and put the phone down on me and was swearing. Im glad i didnt swear at him so it shows i have respect. I really do love him but one problem he has is he takes everything so seriously. Everything he just bites down my throat, hes even like it with his best friends/ friends etc. now hes not talking to me, what do i do, is it best to leave him to contact me or do i contact him tomorrow. Shall i act cool about it and just be normal or do i make him come chasing me. How can you win a boy over so they no they are wrong??? i know everytime after he feel bad for shouting and he knows he is wrong at times. Its going to bug me at work tomorrow il end up keep looking at my phone or wanting to call him but he needs to learn because he knows when we have argument i come running and crying to him he knows hes got me rapped round his finger. Is he acting like a spoilt brat?? hes telling me im a baby because i cryed but he is because hes the one acting so imature. hes 25 im like grown up ur not 5 years old!!!!

Hello guys, Need some help, im 18 years of age and im 5ft 1 or 5ft 2. and weigh 7stone. I dont feel happy with my body i feel like im in a little girls body, no bum no boobs. Just feel a bag of bones. My face is thin and need filling out, need nice curves. Dont want to put on too much with a big belly just want to look healthy and look more of a women than in a 10year olds body. What the best foods to eat and any tips.?.