Nae Rae

Does anyone know where to find a free* printable practice exam for the Journeyman test? Thanks.

Her voice is terrible!!!!!!

Its heart breaking... You can't have Aerosmith without Steven Tyler. Steven Tyler IS Aerosmith! If anything they should retire the name with him...

I love to have a glass of wine, while cooking dinner, and jammin to some music. Just seeing if anyone else enjoys it too. Thanks! ^_^

Are you skeeered?

ha ha ha ha! Just answer the da..mn question! ^_^

I had a dream that I got up, took a shower, and went to eat breakfast and found 10 boxes of Lucky Charms overflowing my kitchen cabinets.

Now, when I actually woke up, I took a shower, and remembered, "I have tons of Lucky Charms!" so I went to get some, and there wasn't any at all! ha ha! kinda funny.

But I was just wondering if anyone thinks there is any other meaning behind it. Thanks!

I have dreams of people but I can't see there faces, its just a blurr... or sometimes my friends will be in my dreams, but they dont look like themselves, they look completely different.... and when I try to talk to them, I can't speak... what could that mean?

I have very vivid, crazy dreams... I have even been able to control my dreams before, and know that I am dreaming and how to wake myself up. and they all seem very real, and when I wake up I can still feel the same emotions as when I was dreaming.

I always have dreams where people are chasing me and trying to kill me... and I can fly in my dreams... I was just wondering what it all could mean? If you can help at all that would be great. Thanks

A woman was in bed with her lover

when she heard her husband

opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,

then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'

she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired

as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.

'The Smiths bought one and I liked it

so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,

not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up,

went to the kitchen and returned!

with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.

I stood like that for two days at the Smiths

and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

Who has been severely beaten by a girl named Xx420bunnyxX on Call of Duty World at War?!?! ha ha ha! Thats me! Suckas!!!!!!

Five surgeons are discussing who are the

best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, 'I like to see Accountants on

my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is

numbered.'

The second responds, 'Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything

inside them is colour-coded.'

The third surgeon says, 'No, I really think Librarians are the best;

everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

The fourth surgeon chimes in, 'You know I like Construction Workers. Those

guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and

when the job takes longer than you said it would.'

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, 'You're all wrong.

Politicians are the easiest to operate on.. There's no

guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two

moving parts - the mouth and the asshole - and they are interchangeable!

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a

surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was

to arrive,

Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man

should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer

happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning,

Ma'am', he

said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been

expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good.. Did you

know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a

seat !..

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the

couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed... And sometimes the living room

floor

is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and

me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we

try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,

I'm

sure you'll be pleased with the results..'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be

In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with

that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his

baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider

their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the

job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a

good

look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.

The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly

concentrate,

and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the

squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your,

uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod

and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much

too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted.

It has a donkey, a Cent sign, the & sign, UL, and then a guy getting something from a box, like he's finding or receiving something... its driving me and my friends crazy... I looked on Mickey's home page, but its not listed and what I thought it said, doesnt really make sense. Please help.

it has a Donkey, then a Cent sign, then the & sign, and UL and then a guy getting something out of a box... I looked on the Mickey's page, but its not listed. Its driving me and my friends crazy! I thought I got it, but it doesnt really make sense to me! HELP! please.