TwiggyNgati

We have been together for a year and recently moved in together. Since moving in we have been having problems with his insecurities and jelousy. We have addressed the problem together and he is aware that he has trust issues. He has had a lot of people in his life that have betrayed his trust right from when he was little so the problems are quite deep rooted. He has been to a couple of councelling sessions and is working through it but he is still exhibiting controlling behavior. He has been checking my cell phone, questioning me on EVERYthing and everyone I come in contact with. He feels offended or upset when I want to do things on my own even though I have told him right from the start I need my own space sometimes.

The latest example of his controlling behavior was last week: I went out for a staff function and we were provided with taxis to come home in (I thought he would be happy that he wouldnt have to drive 30km into the city to collect me). He called me 6 times through the night. He was pretty angry that i didnt come home when he 'told' me to. Now I am 36 year old adult and I havnt been 'told' to be home since i was 18. He believes it was just be cause he was being caring and was just worried. When I argued that it was controlling he is calling me selfish and inconsiderate to make him lose so much sleep worrying about me.

I am trying to stand my ground with this because I want the relationship to continue and I want him to learn to trust me. I have never done anything for him to not trust me but I am finding it really difficult to handle. I feel upset that he has to check my cell phone, and question my every move. I feel like I have to check myself all the time....think about the answers to his questions because he is testing me constantly, waiting for me to slip up so he can catch me out. We seem to be drifting apart now because I am becoming more and more resentful. He things our drifting apart is because I am cheating on him..not that I feel upset that he doesnt trust me. I dont want to break up with him, our relationship works so well on so many other levels. I would just like some advice on how to deal with this.

I am going to a fancy dress party next week and the theme is fictional characters. I need some ideas and I dont want anything too prissy. No princess or fairy crap please. Cheers!

Give me five things you do to give yourself a pick me up when your down on yourself.

I have just watched Alaine de Bottons si part series called 'A Guide to Happiness' on line. I found it quite interesting.

If anyone could recommend any documentries on philosophy I would be very grateful. Cheers.

I am not a religious person. Though I don't follow any one religion I am grateful for the teachings and philosophies of many religions which I have applied to my own life. I think it has helped me become a more accepting and open person.

Anyway I have two very loud and opinionated family members who are always bleating on about all the flaws in religion, especially Christianity. They go on about brainwash, outdated and misinterpreted bibles, how backward it all is...blablablabla! Its so bloody tedious! I just cringe inside whenever the subject comes up because, while i agree with a few things, I find their opinions so harsh, narrow minded and quite mean spirited.

What can I say to diffuse the conversations and maybe make them a little more open minded and accepting of other peoples beliefs? Why do they have to run them down at all?

A mexican friend of mine gave me some of this gorgeous mexican hot chocolate when i was in Australia. It comes in a yellow packet with a picture of an old lady on it. There are about 5 discs of chocolate in it that you boil up in a pot with milk. It is to die for! I cant remember what it is called but I have been dreaming about this stuff. Does anyone know if i can get it in New Zealand?

I keep seeing questions about this stuff and we don't have that in NZ. What the heck is it?

I have a boss that is a bit incompetent, I work as a chef in a small cafe. There are 3 staff in the kitchen including myself. We are all dissatisfied and pissed off with him. He is so scattered and over emotional. He is lazy in his work and is not really 'present when he is there. He wont take responsibility for problems and takes out his frustrations on the other staff when i am not there and they tell me about it later. Everyone is threatening to leave. He is also having an affair with the front of house manageress and they think nobody knows about it. There are so many issues other than this that need to be addressed in a meeting on Wednesday but I want to approach him tomorrow about the staff morale issues and personal things before that meeting so we can discuss the "businesses issues on Wednesday. But I am unsure of what to say. The affair is affecting the other staff and they have no respect for him. Do i bring it up at all? What do I say so I don't look like i am attacking him. I mean, he has stuffed up so many times. I am leaving in a few months anyway..but this needs to be addressed because its getting pretty claustraphobic and there is so much negativity. Pointers would be much appreciated. Cheers!

There are unsightly water marks all over my clear shower cubical. Any tips on removing it? Cheers.

I have recently broken up with a beautiful kind loving man because I think I might be a lesbian. I am 34 and experimented with girls when I was a teenager but thats as far as it went. It has only been over the past couple of months where I have had these feelings and become increasingly distant from my boyfriend. I have been fighting these feelings because I have so much fear about it. I keep telling myself "I don't want to be a lesbian"! I still find men attractive. But I am more and more interested in women. I have fears about losing my identity, society's acceptance of homosexuality...etc. I would like to have children also. If you have recently come out or had similar issues please help.

A guy walks into a bar, asks the barman for a glass of water. The bar man pulls out a gun and points it at the guy. The guy says "thank you" to the barman and walks out again. What was wrong with the guy?

I want to become a graphic designer and would like to study next year. What is the best kind of computer to buy for a person aspiring to become a graphic designer.