CR 22

Ok..

My wife and I are wanting to buy a house. I have been unemployed and employed off and on over the last 18 months, but prior to that I spent almost a decade with the same company. I am most likely going to be starting a new job soon (hopefully), but I don't know whether or not we will be pre-qualified for a substantial enough amount of money with my work history. We were pre-qualified for almost enough money with just my wife's income alone and we both have excellent credit scores, but my concern is that even if I do start a job some time in the near future, we will still not be approved due to my "spotty" job history over the last 18 months.

So my question is is home ownership for us just a pipe dream until I have 2 years of verifiable employment or are we likely to get qualified either way as soon as I resume working again?

I just bought a Sealy Posturpedic Ultra Plush king sized mattress set from a "discount" mattress store and had a few questions.

It is a 2-sided mattress, but as far as I can tell Sealy hasn't made 2-sided home mattresses for a few years now. I was wondering whether or not Sealy does still make 2-sided mattresses for home use and/or when they did stop making them (to gauge the age of the mattress, itself). It has the, again from what I can tell from pics on the internet, "older" style label on the top side of the mattress which leads me to believe that it is an older, unsold mattress.

There is also the possibility that it is a mattress made for a hotel/motel that is 2-sided. It for sure is a real deal Sealy Ultra Plush pillow-top that is still in the plastic wrapping, but I can't find any evidence that supports Sealy making a 2-sided mattress any time recently because all of the models on their website say "no-flip" mattress.

Any help with this is greatly appreciated.

I have several questions....

I heard Obama say that there would be training and assistance for unemployed and displaced workers who wished to re-train and go back to school, but so far I haven't seen anything of the like. There's a big catch-22 with how you can't go to school full-time and receive unemployment benefits. There also is no such program or assistance that I know of. I am going back to college ULTRA part-time and the only way I would've received any government assistance is if I took over 15 credits per semester, AND if I did take that many, I would receive 158 dollars toward my tuition. Now, I'm not even rich enough to claim middle-class status, and I made less than 26k last year, so why don't I get assistance?

Secondly, being very into politics I like to watch C-Span from time to time. I watched the recent vote on extending unemployment benefits and saw our lawmakers say things that made absolutely NO sense. I was confused, because several times I heard different Dem senators say that the the unemployment benefits needed to be extended to CREATE jobs and end/get us out of the recession. I also heard Mitch McConnell's stupid @ss say some strange things too. I don't understand how extending benefits creates any more jobs or gets us out of the recession. I don't DISAGREE with extending benefits, by any means, but the justification they are using to explain themselves is mind-boggling. Just say "we are extending unemployment benefits to keep people from living in their cars or on the street". I'd buy that. And why do the Con's hate unemployment? Is it because they don't like assistance? They would rather see our displaced and unemployed workforce eating cat food on the street?

Thirdly, and most upsetting to me, is that we are constantly being told that we are recovering, and that the unemployment #s are falling. How many new jobs are we creating? The reason we aren't in a true "depression" is that, even though we have similar jobless #s to the beginning of the great depression, because our GDP hasn't fallen very much. That means that we are creating the same amount of product with significantly less workers, about 30 million less if the percentages are correct.

Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I want to know why so many people are willing to link the current healthcare bill with healthcare reform?

The 2 are used synonymously by proponents and opponents alike of the healthcare bill.

They are obviously 2 different things; the bill itself has been touted so much as being healthcare reform, which would mean deregulation and more affordable insurance, but continues to be more about bankrupting the current health insurance system and then staging the full government takeover. The bill also is promoted by saying i that it will help the economy; it will lower the national deficit by the government taking in revenue from premiums, fees, and taxes, and lowering the deficit is a good thing, not only so, but imperative. I still am failing to see how a healthcare bill will help this struggling economy, that is desperately in need of more jobs, not government a healthcare system that is more heavily controlled and regulated by the government.

Call it what it is, and stop using the two terms synonymously.

If this bill would've been presented as a socialized healthcare bill instead of being bastardized and morphed as it has, and all of the details disclosed to the public, I think it would have had more support from the public, and the politicians that represent them.

Also, before you start finger pointing and name calling, I am NEITHER a Republican or a Democrat, so no "stupid republican" b.s. or anything like that.

About a year and a half ago my girlfriend (now fiancee) confessed to me that she was bulimic. I accepted that she had not exactly been "lying" to me, per se, but was definitely hiding the truth from me and promised to support and assist her in any way I could. She promised that she would stop doing it and we came to an agreement that she would stop doing it and I would support her and help her, and that she would stop, with help from me and her family/friends. For about 1 year all was well, and I thought a new leaf was turned and we had gotten over this stone...

Or so I thought...

She had been "secretly" purging behind my back the whole time and was, again, trying to hide from me (although, if you know someone who purges, it's pretty obvious) that she was still purging, and clearly had no intent to stop. She is getting so brazen, now, that she doesn't even make sure all of the "junk" in the toilet is gone after she purges, and I lift the seat to use the bathroom and discover particles of dinner in it (sorry for the description; I tried to be as PG as possible). I have encouraged her, time after time, am loving and accepting of her body the way it is, and have offered to help her to cover the co-payment of her going to a local, critically acclaimed and nationally recognized treatment program. Even though I have very little money due to being unemployed she still seems to not want to get better.

What's worse is she is constantly nagging on me about the bad things that I do, like smoking, and drinking, that I have given up as a plead for her to be healthy, do the right thing, and get help, but she has this strange rationalization and justification of her addiction of purging as being better than my former habits. She tells me "one day of my (former) smoking is equal to one month of her purging" and it just bothers me that she thinks that way. I have gotten her the number to the local (again accredited, well recognized) eating disorder program and she says that she has called, but is not seeking treatment.

And now for the very disturbing part....yes sadly there's more..

I recently had to purchase a new computer because our laptop died. I opened up a line of credit to buy a computer because I am attending college again for I/TT and needed a home computer for school. I am very protective of this new computer because it is an integral part of my education and am leery of viruses and other stuff that can corrupt my brand new computer, that I couldn't afford to replace, again. My computer was acting funny and, being an I/TT computer science major, I decided to use my skills to fix it. Well, as I said, already being wary of the potential danger to my new computer, and doing everything in my power to protect it from getting damaged, I had at it. In the course of my actions, my curiosity got the best of me, so to speak, and I found a lot of disturbing things on my hard drive. There were several pictures and movies of gruesome, repulsingly and disgustingly thin, emaciated, women that had been downloaded to my computer. There is only 2 people EVER that have access to this computer and, by process of elimination, it was not me. Don't get me wrong, I don't distrust her; she is free to look at whatever she wishes to online, and I know that she knows what this computer means to me, but she doesn't seem to correlate the health of my computer to me getting a better job. I just feel that all of this "pro ana/mia" junk she is looking at is only fueling a burning fire and is creating a vicious cycle and supporting her addiction.

I really want to know is what is my next course of action? What can I do? What do I do for somebody who is refusing treatment and continues down the same path of addiction? How do I cope with somebody that is rejecting all of my support and not recognizing my sacrifices in attempts to help them?

And, worst of all, why should I marry someone who is constantly lying, or covering up the truth, or just doesn't care? How do I marry someone who has no concern about what I have given up in an effort to ultimately help them?

To start out I am attending college myself and aspire to graduate some day.That being said, I attended a couple college graduations last year (1 specifically at the University of Minnesota) I noticed a trend, per se, that shocked me, and at the same time didn't. I sat through the names of at least 1,000 graduates, at this one particular ceremony out of several held by the liberal arts school that spring, and noticed something odd.

What I found odd is that at least 80-90% of the degrees that these graduates were getting were the same. Out of the 20+ or so degrees that you could choose from at the liberal arts college of the U of M, the vast majority chose a communications/strategic communications degree. Out of all the departments, which have various degrees within each, such as Anthropology, Economics, Gender, Women, & Sexuality Studies, Geography, Global Studies, Journalism & Mass Communication, Political Science, Psychology, Sociology, and Speech-Language-Hearing Sciences, most chose to major in communications. Every now and then there would be something really specific like women's studies or something else, or someone that double majored in communications and a world language, but all in all there was little diversity over the entire graduating class.

Is this a trend or does this happen everywhere? I chose to study a very specific major (I/TT; computer science) and have noticed the same thing (several people studying the same major) when I enrolled.

What is the intrigue of getting one of the slightly vague "McMajors" like communications. Why would somebody spend 4+ years in college to get a piece of paper that says they know how to speak and communicate?

We're finalizing all of our wedding details and my fiancee has all her bridesmaids gifts...which reminded me that I haven't bought my groomsmen or my best-man anything yet. I was thinking the standard engraved flask or zippo is good - and classic - but maybe a little too cliche? I need to find something for them soon. I have one who is 13, one that is 15, 16, 18 and my best man is mid 20's like me. SO the zippo and especially the flask doesn't work for all the under 18's, and probably not for the 18 YO either... SO I have MAYBE one done, but what should I get the younger ones?

I just ordered 11 different tins of authentic Swedish snus and was wondering what should I expect? I have used snus before, but it was the Americanized version with heavy mint flavoring and it tasted like chewing gum to me, but it did give me a good buzz. I tried a less "Americanized" American version that I thought was a little better; it had less artificial flavor and was more "tobacco-y". I have tried several different kinds of chew and dip, but didn't like the taste or mess/spitting of the dip, and I've tried every kind of chew and plug I could get my hands on and love the flavor and taste, but don't like that I don't get any buzz from it.

I got 8 tins of a "christmas" snus (Nordstrommen Julesnus) because they were $1 per portion tin, 1 Taboca portion tin, 1 LD portion tin, and 1 Skruf Strong White tin. Did I make a decent selection considering I only spent 17.00 on all of it? Will I like any of this and are these any good?

With the big snow storm that just ripped through this part of the US my grandparents were himming and hawing about whether or not to postpone Christmas until the Sunday following (the one directly after Christmas). On Christmas eve in the afternoon it was decided that it would be postponed until Sunday. Christmas day came and went (it was 40 degrees up here and beautiful). Several people and I had discussed our disappointment with having Christmas moved up, my parents who had made food for the dinner and prepared it the day before, my sister and brother in law who had also made food for the dinner were all unhappy with the decision to postpone it. Everyone who was going to the dinner was bringing something to contribute and I had purchased over 50$ worth of food to bring (being unemployed that is A LOT of money). I had also found out, after finding out what day my family had moved X-mas to, that my fiancee had made plans for us to go to her mothers Christmas dinner on the same day. The original plan was to do X-mas with her mom on the 20th and her sister said no. We couldn't do it on X-mas day due to her sister being out of town, so I thought we had decided to do it on the 3rd of January, which was fine with me. But now as soon as I find out what day my family's X-mas was on, I find out that her mom had moved it ahead to the 27th, the same day. My dinner was supposed to be early (around 1:00 P.M.) and her mom's dinner is supposed to be around dinner time (5:00 or 6:00 P.M.) so I figured we could make it to both. I was wrong. I asked my fiancee if we got to my family's place around 12:00 noon and were there until around 2:30 or 3:00 P.M. and then went to her mom's place which I thought was perfectly reasonable. She told me that we were absolutely expected at her mother's at 12:00 noon and wouldn't be able to make it to my family's Christmas at all.

Now my question is what should I do? I have tried to be reasonable and accommodating to everyone else's schedules and have desperately tried to compromise with her mother, but have been told that there is an entire DAY of events planned for that day by her. I'm conflicted! I feel the inherent obligation to attend my family's X-mas dinner not only because I have been for over 25 years, or because I have over 50$ worth of food that is going to go to waste, but also because not only for me, but for the 50+ other people attending my family's X-mas, this is the one and only time of the year that all of my family gets together which is why I look forward to it so much.

Now, on the other hand, I can also understand skipping my family's dinner. My family did re-schedule at the last minute and we had promised to have christmas another time with her mom. It all stems from a promise we made. I thought it was on the 3rd of Jan, but apparently it's on the 27th. I have a lot of confusion and misplaced anger about all of this and have been taking it out on my fiancee. I'm frustrated with my family for re-scheduling X-mas, BUT I'm also mad that I committed to doing something with her mom without having a specific day set in stone, leaving it between her sister and her mom to conveniently change the day of the dinner to the same day as my family's dinner.

Part of me just wants to just go to my family's dinner out of spite because I have had issues with her mom telling us what to do or where to go on the holidays.

The other part says go to her mom's and forget about everyone at my family's dinner because of their lack of consideration to other people's schedules and for being indecisive and changing the plans at the last minute.....

HELP!!!

i'm trying to do something different and i need some help.sure the old dinner and movie is alright but i need something fresh.i dont need it to necessarily be specific to this area(i mean there are limitations because it is 1 degree outside lol)but i dont know if i should just ask her what she wants to do or just have it kinda be a surprise.and staying in is good too but my roommate always has people over and that would kill the mood i think.anyone have any ideas?

cuz of how complex the french language is i've had trouble getting some typical english phrases translated.those are 'sweet dreams','hugs and kisses',and for some reason i misspelled 'my dear/darling' idk how. i'm seeing a girl and i've been trying some romantic french phrases and would like some help. thanks any other ideas would be greatly appreciated

okay so i know that most girls shave or at least trim their pubes but what do girls think about guys doing it? do you like it more or just not care?i'm not a very hairy guy but down there i am and i'm looking for a womans opinion on this one

well i asked her if she thought of me as a boyfriend and she told me no and i told her i thought she was.she said 'i'm not seeing anyone else isnt that the basic concept' and that calling me bf was too much pressure and that she wanted to take it slow so she didnt hate me in a month.i told her i understood and wasnt gonna push her into a commitment.but then when i talked to her later she seemed down and said she didnt want to talk about why she was feeling that way said she had alot on her mind and was

well i asked her if she thought of me as a boyfriend and she told me no and i told her i thought she was.she said 'i'm not seeing anyone else isnt that the basic concept' and that calling me bf was too much pressure and that she wanted to take it slow so she didnt hate me in a month.i told her i understood and wasnt gonna push her into a commitment.but then when i talked to her later she seemed down and said she didnt want to talk about why she was feeling that way said she had alot on her mind and was

i've been seeing this girl for almost 2 months now and i just need a little advice.first i'm not sure whether we should discuss defining the relationship some people told me i should ask her to be my girlfriend but i just thought that was an understanding between us.also i've been thinking alot about telling her that i love her but im not sure if its too soon or not cuz of how i only see her like once a week and not as long as i'd like to.when she leaves tho we get more intense every time and i want to