Grumpy

we've been married close to 24 years. she's has just recently ended(?) an affair with a married man. i desperately want us to get together and work things out, but i'm having difficulty with the level of attachment she had. Also, we have 2 kids (she 14 he 9) that will be caught up in this. For my sake and the kids sake I want this to succeed, but i grow tired of feeling used.

Wouldn't it be simpler to cheat before the marriage and let the prospective spouse know? This would save (B/M)illions in lawyers fees evey year.

my wife has told me that she loves another. she's decided her current husband (me) with a boat (that she suggested i buy) no longer meets her needs. what she really wants is a guy with a cottage.

is it right for me to feel like a piece of property that is being traded in on a new model with different options?

what is the difference in market value between the guy with boat vs the one with cottage? who do you pay the money too to cover the difference in value?

just looking for answers in life (yes I know this is actuallythe Marriage and Divorce section, not the Life section)

Happy Friday

my bride of 23 years told me 3 months back that she wants to separate because she loves someone else. i still love her madly, ok my heart and brain are way out of sync and i realise this. we are still living together in the same bed, which i'm sure will set some of you off.

beacuse of her revalation to me i occasionally check her cell phine, (which happens to be in my name, so legally i'm ok, but morally i realize i'm not). i only do this to get an idea of the frequency of contact between her and HIM. let's face it i'm somewhat insecure and i realize that.

this morning when i went to pull her cell phone from her purse to check the recent activity low and behold i found a large zip lock bag on the top of everything in the purse. inside the zip lock bag i found a large jelly dildo wrapped in paper towel.

now for my actual question. where in the world would she find the time to make use of this on a day trip on business?

She is planning on moving out and living with him. When the kids ask about what is going on can I express my true feelings about him?