The Big J

I'm just curious after talking to a friend. He has two kids to pay for... how would it work if you had 3 or more kids with different women? Do they all get a smaller portion or is the guy taxed to a point that he will have to work "under the table" so to speak? Does anyone know anyone in this kind-a situation and how it works for them? I am sure it is a little different in each situation. Thanks!

I am genuinely curious is all... please no "you shouldn't be in that situation" answers... happily married, just pondering odd situations.

I'm just curious after talking to a friend. He has two kids to pay for... how would it work if you had 3 or more kids with different women? Do they all get a smaller portion or is the guy taxed to a point that he will have to work "under the table" so to speak? Does anyone know anyone in this kind-a situation and how it works for them? I am sure it is a little different in each situation. Thanks!

I am genuinely curious is all... please no "you shouldn't be in that situation" answers... happily married, just pondering odd situations.

My son is still too young obviously, he is 4. But I see many children, which appear to be unattended, not much older than him at a local park. We live in a gated community (military base) so the threat is a bit lower than normal, but what age is appropriate? Does anyone know of legal accountability and what reasonable limits are (I assume a 12 year-old could go to the park alone for example)? How old were your kids when you finally let them go to the corner store or park alone or with friends?

I don't want to be that overbearing parent, but at the same time, I don't want to be the regretful one either.

Yesterday I asked "what guides you?" in an attempt to get a better understanding of Atheists. In summary, I got two answers: through life experiences and innate morals. Ok, I understand how that is a good place to start, hell, we all start there. But what do you do when confronted with a complex situation? Contrary to what some have said, innate morals do not suffice for every situation presented in life. I have been presented with many situations in my life where I: reacted in a way that felt right at the time, but turned out to be terrible; attended a friends funeral because I did not help, or see the signs, and he killed himself; figured I was not hurting anyone, only to find that I had or would have.

These are just some summaries and general statements of multiple events I have experienced, and they really required my faith so I could either avoid the situation, or find comfort and repent in a way that lifts the burden of mistakes off my shoulders. Honestly, without faith I don't know where I would be able to lay down the "stupid" things I have done. Don't get me wrong, I do not look at my faith as an excuse to make stupid mistakes; however, I do get two things: guidance to help me avoid bad choices, and forgiveness for my mistakes. Obviously I learn from those mistakes, and try not to make them again. Without faith I assume I would either get numb; taking no ownership of my mistakes in order to avoid the guilt, or I would be consumed by the mistakes I have made and second guess every decision I make.

So in summary, when you are confronted with a tough decision, where do you go "on the spot" to make your choice (you ovbviously can't reserach everything before you do it)? Where do you find comfort when you realize something you did cost/hurt someone else? How do you feel when you find yourself in the situations like I listed above?

Again, I ask these questions as before, to learn and better understand Atheism as a whole. Not to put it down, or prove you wrong, just to learn and understand.

I asked a question earlier about why Atheists are in the religious section, I got a lot of the typical "angry angry, christians hate me so I hate them blah blah" but some seemed to actually have an understanding and respect for religion, which is great.

For those that seem to be open minded: What guides you? Is it like Wicca where there is no central book, but compilations and individual ideas? What guides you in life? How do you determine what is right and wrong?

I am a Christian, but I like to learn about other belief systems/religion. I never bothered with Atheists because I have been always told that it is core to them not to have a belief system. I have found tolerance and understanding can only be achieved through education; so with all sincerity, educate me.

I am serious... if you don't have a religion... I get it... but why not use another forum, like society & culture/other?

It seems odd to push your NO-RELIGION agenda in a Religion & Spirituality forum... do you agree? Please enlighten me if there is a valid reason for this, I am open minded.

It is a real shame that those that have true, legitimate questions about their religion have to dig through anti-religion agendas to find an answer.

My dreams tend to be easy for me to understand; I normally know what causes my dreams, thoughts, ideas, etc. This one is odd, and I am curious what may have caused the change:

I typically have a very similar dream about High School (I am 32 now) every few months, maybe just one a year. Vivid, and I am aware I am dreaming. Normally, I am in class, talking to friends, really re-living good old days in school. A very pleasant dream really. Did not occur with any rime or reason so it seems, just oddly frequently, I don't have any other re-occuring dreams like this. No two of them are exactly the same (I don't think) but all take place in my old school with the same people I think(not people from my school, but familiar to me in the dream).

--Side bar-- I had a good High School experience, I was the kid that did not fit into a clique (played Basketball, Choior, Band, Shop Class, computer geek, weight room junkie), eventually, became the center of my own group kind-a. Sometimes the dream will revolve around past events.

Last night was very different. I was again, at school, but this time I was not welcomed. Those that normally were happy to see me and I would say were my friends, were asking me "why are you here?" and telling me "you do not belong here". They were mad at me because of things I had done, mentioning my degree (just finished this past spring) specifically. It felt very odd to be aware that I was dreaming, but I felt unwelcomed in my own dream... never had that feeling before.

--Current life-- I am deployed in Iraq, fairly safe location, around unfamiliar people, but welcomed. I am not anxious about anything, I am very unstressed because my job is simple here, unlike usual. My schedule is normal and I get a good 8 hours of sleep a night. This is my 4th deployment, so I am tempered to this environment and I am not taking any dietary suppliments or drugs aside from the same daily multi-vitamin I always take.

Any idea what would cause such an odd change to my usual dream? I am a little nervous to goto sleep tonight honestly.

So, seen the doc out here (Iraq) and he thinks I have Achilles Tendonitis. Like every good military doc, he tells me to put ice on it, take Vitamin M (Motrin) and stretch. I do not have the option to be off my ankle.

Are there any "tricks" to dealing with this? It has been a few months and they tell me there is nothing else I can do.

Before I get the "buy a new car" response, this is a project idea I am working on. My goal is to continue to get 400+ HP from a Pontiac 455, while pushing the fuel economy up, preferably above 20mpg on the highway.

Stock, the motor gets about 11mpg, ironically better than the Pontiac 400 block. The vehicle is about the same weight as a newer sports car with a fat guy driving it... so I don't think weight should be an issue, but newer sports cars are getting 25+mpg on the high way, I used to get over 20mpg on my '87 GTA Trans-Am stock... so I assume this car can do over 20mpg if I design the drive tran right.

My technical knowledge is good on cars, and I know the basics, but I would like some more advanced help "not" coming from a manufacturer selling me something.

From my understanding, installing TPI (tuned port injection) will help a lot, is there any versions better than others? Anyone attempted something like this before? Can anyone give me a good site dedicated to balancing power and efficiency on a classic car?

Ok, before you bring out the pitchforks and torches... losing weight was not my idea, it is hers.

She has gained a lot of weight (she is almost 100lbs over her optimum weight, 5'7".., from what I gather, about 145-160 is about right... right?). Now her health is starting to suffer. She wants to be more active with our son, feel attractive, confident, and her weight has caused her to require medication due to depression. She has hip pains and knee pains, which is just worsened because I am an active person and she wants to come out and play with our son and me, but the pain gets in the way.

So as you can see, she has good reason to want to lose weight and I am 100% behind her. Problem is, most of the ideas I come up with to try and help motivate her suck... fact is, I am a guy and what motivates me does not help her... actually makes things worse. I am currently deployed so any suggestions will have to be doable at a distance... like things I can say, or send her, that kind-a stuff. What do you think?

Ok, ladies you have talked me out of cloths. And I love the idea of the hand written note, my wife (sentimental type) would likely keep it forever as you stated. The idea about a movie we like is good too. Flowers and jewelry are great, but kind-a... status quo. Any other good unique ideas on what to send her?

A middle eastern gift is also not the best idea, we both lived in Turkey for 2 years and this is my 4th tour to the middle east. She has all the wooden animals, rugs, and traditional jewelry any woman could stomach.

P.S. Thanks for the input, I really appareciate it!

So I am deployed to Iraq and I like to send home a little something every so often for the wife. The wife is working on losing some weight (she gained a lot the past year, working it off). I like to send her cloths some times, but I don't want to insult her by sending her something too big, but I am afraid to send her something too small... but would it be a motivating factor? What would you want your man to send you?

So I am looking at buying a 1970 GTO, and I noticed that insurance is going to be interesting. My current company has odd restrictions like no more than 2,500 miles and such? I am having the GTO modified in ways to make it a daily driver and will likely be putting 10k on annually (give or take of course). Who insures your car? What restrictions do you have? How much does it run you?

Ok, so I fall victim to this as well, why is it that men find women on women action acceptable, but we are (and so are most women) repulsed by two gay men going at it? Why do you think you feel the way you do about it? I am looking for thoughts beyond the typical "it is wrong, that's why" view plz.

So quite frequently, my wife dreams that I am either A: divorcing her, B: bringing a girlfriend home, or C: telling her I don't love her any more. We have been married for 8 years. My wife does have confidence issues. I have not cheated on her ever, nor have I even brought up divorce. She does not accuse me of cheating, but she actually gets mad at me because of the dream! I am in Iraq atm, and that just makes it worse. What can I do? What is causing this? She has these dreams constantly and has had them for the past few years.