MSN

They have already bloomed.

And where I live, the weather has been around 50 to 60 degrees.

I would like to be able to become invisable whenever I wanted to......... so I could spy on certain people!

in the opening song of South Park?

A man went to the doctor to get a double dose of

Viagra but his request was denied.

'Why can't I have a double dose?' the man asked.

'It's not safe,' the doctor replied.

'But I need it really bad,' the man explained. 'My

girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, one of my exes will be here on Saturday, and my wife is coming home on Sunday.'

'Okay, I'll give it to you,' the doctor relented.

'But you have to come in on Monday morning so that I

can check to see if there are any side effects.'

On Monday the man dragged himself into the doctor's office with his right arm in a sling.

The doctor asked, 'What happened to you?'

The man said, 'No one showed up.'

I am not sure if I am understanding it correctly.

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole-digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole , only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole-digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

There is this guy that I know and I KNOW he uses drugs. I don't know what he is using, but I am worried about him. He has sores all over his body and his eyes are glazed over all the time. Do you know if there are any certain drugs that can cause all the sores?

A father is out with his little girl and she needs to use the bathroom. (she is not old enough to go alone) Should he take her in the mens room and risk her seeing... .you know? Or should he take her in the womens room where he will risk seeing.. ..you know? What should he do?

I got it on my fingers and can't get it off, HELP!!

If so, could you explain what goes on in surgery and if it was worth it?

Peed in the pool?

or

Wiped your boogie on someone else's car seat?

or

Farted and blamed it on the dog?

If so, would you give it up if you could?

The Wisdom of An Older Man

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.

'Excuse me, I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?'

'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with a chest like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere.'