Because I Said So

The survey is regarding how modern attitudes have changed towards parenting

I remember it being something that we read in school in about 1980, I think it is the authors recollection of growing up and the things that went on in the 1950s and 60s.

Please somebody have the knowledge to put me out of my misery.

I remember it being something that we read in school in about 1980, I think it is the authors recollection of growing up and the things that went on in the 1950s and 60s.

Please somebody have the knowledge to put me out of my misery.

what the dickheads that thumbs down sensible comments on this site get of it ?..

Will it stop being asked. ?.

I ask because nobody has shared any with me yet..

I ask because nobody has shared any with me yet..

I reckon I have answered questions on this subject a 1000 times this month alone..

You can get kits to fix anything these days but I've invented a kit for when you can't be bothered to fix something

It's called the Fuc Kit

I got bored, so I decided to measure the length of my penis.

Now I'm bored and depressed.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on do it yourself abortions.

The librarian says, "We had to get rid of it."

"That's the one." the man replies.

Google: There to answer the questions which you are too embarrassed to ask your friends.

I decided to show my kids how to make a burger from scratch.

They burst into tears and refused to eat.

I don't know what the fuss is about, it was a stupid name for a cat.

My girlfriend told me I suffer from a lack of imagination.

I said, "Yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination."

That showed her.

I've just been down the park to feed the ducks with my kids.

Turns out they prefer bread.

I used to be a man trapped inside a woman's body…

Then I was born.

I keep getting reported for chatting and don't know why..

"It doesn't matter what I do or say," I told the wife, "I'm always wrong in your eyes."

"That's not true," she said.

Isn't it ironic?

The day Jesus supposedly rose from the dead, coincides with April Fool's Day this year.

McDonalds staff are like prostitutes.

They both look like they wish they'd listened at school while cleaning up my mess.

Following a run-in with a passing car, it looks like my cat only has eight lives left.

He seems to be taking a long time to get back up, though.

I used to think it was pretentious that Subway call their staff "Sandwich Artists".

But I suppose it is the most likely career option for an Art graduate.

My girlfriend's psychiatrist told her that I'm paranoid and jealous.

He's just saying that to get her into bed.

I walked up to the new female employee at work today and said, "I'd like to personally welcome you here."

"Ah, thank you," she smiled.

"Since you're working with me now I'm going to need your number, in case I want anything and you're not at the office," I said, taking out my phone.

"Sure. Like what?"

"A bl0wjob," I replied.

I saw some black kids spray painting their names on a wall and decided to join in.

I'd only done the first three letters of my name when they started beating the **** out of me.

They obviously don't like people called Nigel.

Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children…

Old girlfriends tend to get offended.

I cannot believe that result..