Major D. Head

I never understood why the men start bleeding out of their nose whenever they see a naked women. It's rather strange. Is there a good reason for this?

So me and my friends love to break the law sometimes. We don't do it every night, but when we do, we go around committing all kinds of crimes. It's rather fun and it gives me a high feeling when I do it. The bigger the crime the better the rush. Is this normal?

I'm a complete dipshiit.

I'm gay.

I support abortion.

Judge me.

Hello, I am an ex-felon. I am looking for some hot kinky CONSENSUAL sex. I did a 9 year stretch in Sing Sing. I am looking for some hot hot hot girls. HMU

Alright so I constantly have dreams that I'm a zombie and I'm running around throwing fireballs and shadow spells out of my fists at people. In these dreams I always cannibalize they bodies after burning them to death. What does this mean? Can this be a sign of a serious mental disorder?

I'm an 18 year old barely legal boy. I get hard to teenage barely legal girls. I can't help but always pop a hard on. My pingas keeps getting hard. It's rather disturbing. I once was just talking casually to a girl and I got a rock hard bone. How can I fix this problem. I can't control it. I've tried masturbating 3 times a day, but I'm still horny as hell.

Please please. I feel like an dog. Pl0x help me control this!

Alright I'm young. I am 18 years old and very fricking harney. I am aching for the old in out, in out, and my hand just won't do it for me anymore.

Problem is, me.

I am very social, so don't pull that "I'm just shy" bull. I am very social indeed. I just can't get a female to come hither with me. I tried asking a few out. They always decline. I tried a fat girl. Even she refused.

Alright so maybe, I'm not really in a good position. I'm ugly, stinky, and crazy. I am very angry. People know this. I have an extremely short temper.

I also am very sexist. I believe if I pay to bring a lady out to eat or to a movie that I should be able to cash in my chips and get some sex.. Why the hell else am I doing this? I need sex. That's just it.

OK So I am a 15 year old boy. I really am madly attracted to this 17 year old girl. I want to bed her, but it's just so tough to get my messege across. I tried first by declaring my love to her and she just laughed at me with her friends. I then tried to ask her to have some hot kinky sex and she screamed, slapped me and ran away. Any other idea. I really want to get it in. I am a harny 15 year old boy. Pl0x help. Thankies.

Alright so I want to have sexual intercourse with a big buff black man. There is this one I always see at the local YMCA. I really want him inside of me. Oh god that would feel so good. I don't know if he is gay, but all guys are on the down low secretly. So how should I ask him? Should I corner him and force him to make love with me in a sleepys mattress store?

Well, I always wanted some free booty. Booty that I didn't have to pay for. And Booty that I didn't have to use smooth words to get. So Ima thinking can I go to prison to get some shower action? What crime should I commit to get in there? Should I swallow a box of condoms to get them into prison to make sweet love with the black men there?

Alright so I had this dream where me and my black friends went to a local McDonald's. We were super hunger, but didn't have any money.

So there was a white man at the counter. We made him drop the soap in the bathroom as we beat his a$$ down. After that he was forced to eat our doo doo in the toilet that Jamal made. And after that we robbed them of all of their McFlurries and Big Macs.

I'm not a violent guy, nor would I ever do this, but is it strange that I had this dream?

Alright, so it's my big day. I'm going to my job interview at wendy's! I be really scared. Like I don't know if they be given the job to me.

So, I don't own a suit. I think my lakers jersey will suffice. That's the most expensive shirt I own. I also think that my purple and yellow jordan shoes are acceptable for dis' interview nahwhat im sayen?

I hear that if the dude be all rude and stuff then it's best to stop trying and just get pissed off since you aren't getting hired anyway.

Wow, please help. This is a lot of trouble for flipping burgers which I am just going to spit in anyway. Not like I wanna be work, but I need some way to start saving money to help pay for my credit card debt.

Alright so I was standing in a line outside of the post office. Don't ask what I was mailing. It's personal. Anyway I was standing in line and the dude in back of me calls me an ape. Don't know why. I am a pretty big guy. I am like 6' 10" and 257 lbs, but he called me and ape and started laughing to some guy in back of him.

Don't know what was so damn funny. I would asked, but I gotta stay clean, nahmean? So what was he trying to insinuate?

This is a really hard one for me.

I was like think about this. Now I played a lot of games, nahmean? Lots. I play all them games. Hell, it's my only damn hobby next to working out, football, hanging with my dudes, y'all know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I've been playing games since the NES. I got it when I was a kid like 6 years old or something. System was already old at the time. They already made like SNES at that time. Anyway, I got my first game. Legend of Zelda. That game was brutally hard. So hard man. It took me six years to actually manage to beat it. I finally got it done in winter of 1996. It was the first game I ever beat. Then I started to take games seriously. Few years later my momma bought me a N64.

I played all of them games then. Zelda OOC, Mario 64, Glover, Golden Eye. Everything. I still own like 150 nintendo 64 games to this day.

Eventually I started playing xbox and playstation down the road, but that's all I'm gonna say since I played even more games.

Anyway, I have to say that my favorite game of all times is tied between three titles:

Grand Theft Auto: San Andres

Indigo Prophecy (Was like heavy rain, but still awesome games man.)

Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald (my favorite one personally)

Can't narrow it down, but I love to here all of yours.

Mine be like' to get some more biches. I can never get enough biches. Oh and lots more stuff like I really want some more money. I think that if I get a better job it's likely that I get some more money, nahmean? But I gotta go back and get my GED mothafuka.

Working on this all man. But first, time to get drunk, high, fuked and come. Den we'll see about all of this important stuff.

Y'all feel free to post ur here. I just wanted to get that off of my chest.

It's called: Chicken fried in oil, fruity drinks fried in oil, and collard greens fried in oil. That's all you need. I buy that shlt with my tiny pay check. You can too.

Now stop bichen bout' being so hard to gain weight. It's so damn easy.

So my dog always looks at me in the morning. He cries and wags his little tail when I eat kashi. I decided to give him some one day. He seemed to love it. I only give him a little bit, but now I even mix it in with his dog food since he loved it so much. He seems to be healthy. He's not overweight and it doesn't seem to cause him any health problems.

Is this okay?

So he's one of the best hockey players in Canada from what my landlord tells me. How the heck he get so good? Wasn't the dude at one point a bus boy? How'd he go from serving drinking at Deny's to hitting pukes with rods? Dude is one hell of a guy. If I ever met him, I give him a hand of goo. Yes sir. Yes sir diddle bob fiddle nut sack planters plantations african slaves ftw...

Hello. My son plays for his high school football team. I feed him lots of drugs so he gets big and strong to beat the other kids in his league. My son is very strong. I give him lots of steroids and painkillers so that he can have the biggest muscles out of everyone. That along with feeding him a diet very high in protein I can get him to play best for the town!

Anyway, I ain't trying to bore you with details. I never heard anything about him getting drug tested, but I was thinking while reading gameinformer in the bathroom and taking a poop. What if they drug test him? Will the come after me? I feed him the stuff and give him the drugs.

Will I be held responsible? Please, I don't want my son taken from me! Thomas is such a good boy! A very strong and healthy boy, yes! Please! Help!

I take frequent doo doos in public restrooms in addition, I stroke myself in them too. Can I get aids from sitting on the toilet seat. Not that I am extreme worried bout aids. After all, I have unprotected sex with random black women all of the time.